Doing what he wants

ElCy

I’m getting to the point that I understand if I don’t do what he asks immediately it’s  going to take a turn where I am yelled at for being the worst, selfish bitch in the world. This morning I emptied the dishwasher, made breakfast and went to work (was gone for about 10 hours). I came home, he’d partially made dinner for me, I did the dishes and retreated into the den to watch TV while he was in the living room watching UFC fighting. 

He yelled my name to tell me something was on TV. It wasn’t something I wanted to watch and I stayed in the den. Two minutes later he came in,  saw I was watching House Hunters and screamed, “This is what you are watching?!”

I came into the living room where he proceeded to yell that I was selfish for not wanting to watch what he wanted, for leaving the house and galavanting all day, while he was home cooking for me. He hit me on the top of my head. Hard. 

A few minutes later he brought me some ice for my head.

It’s just not worth it to not do what he wants. 

I hate this!

loveskitties

Being physically assaulted is not OK regardless of his mental diagnosis.

You need to be prepared to exit when he becomes violent and to call 911.  They can take him to the hospital where hopefully they can get him on meds to calm his hostility.  If they can't you cannot afford to put yourself at risk by bringing him home.

Stuck in the middle

You said you live with a man who watches UFC and hits you.  That sounds to me like you are in real danger.  If I were you, I would get away from him before you are seriously injured.  

I would not want my wife to live in fear as you are doing.

Quilting brings calm

I agree with Stuck and I’m going to cite a link to a child that died when a teenager wrested with her because he liked WWE.  Your spouse has the brain of  a child.  He won’t understand that wrestling or punching you is dangerous to you.  He thinks along the lines of Wily E Coyote and the roadrunner.  Get out 

 https://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/story?id=92804&page=1

Buggsroo

Your husband needs meds stat. Hitting a spouse is not ok. You are in danger if this escalates. I hope you have a safe place to go. I really feel for you, I get called lazy bitch all the time. I guess it goes with the territory. To say I am sick of this sh-- would be the understatement of the century. 

Please help yourself, hitting is never ok. What the others say, I agree.

harshedbuzz

Once a PWD turns violent, you need to take steps to keep yourself safe. Lady T posts an excellent thread on strategies to be safe with a PWD who can become violent- please search for it. 

Another strategy is to have him transported by ambulance to the nearest hospital with a geriatric psychiatry service for a workup and medication management. It's best to call around ahead of time as not all hospitals have these beds- your area agency on aging will know which to go to. 

At the end of the hospitalization, you may need to consider placement which is best done from an in-patient hospital as they'll help you find and arrange a facility. 

I would also look at how his choice of programming is likely triggering this behavior. It might be best to block this content using parental controls. When he notices, you can explain it's a problem with the cable satellite. 

HB

Ed1937

There's not much mto add to what;s been said already. I hope you heed the advice given.

M1

Elcy, I agree with the other posters about protecting yourself. I haven't faced that, but I have had to block channels-in our case the 24 HR news channels-and it does help, she gets too upset. Just encouraging you to follow through on HBs suggestion.

dayn2nite2

Watching UFC cannot possibly be helping his mood, so those channels need to be blocked.

Being the spouse of a person with dementia doesn't mean you are a punching bag either.  Call 911 at the next escalation and have him transported to a psychiatric ward.  Also make sure weapons are removed from the home or locked up (including things used in the yard) and you are at a point where unless he can find medication to dampen the anger you may have to place him.  Do you have a plan for that?

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Paris20

My husband was becoming verbally violent about a year ago. The constant criticism of anything and everything became a cause in itself. The yelling became disturbing and worrisome. I was especially concerned that he might physically harm the aide I had just hired.

Thank goodness I was on these boards. I learned about the antipsychotic drugs prescribed for these symptoms. At first I was hesitant because of possible side effects. DH was already on an antidepressant but, as things worsened, I realized it was time to act. Seroquel has enabled him to stay home and me to remain safe. Life is far from perfect. Symptoms remain and I know they’ll worsen, but at least we’re not in danger. Anything that can turn the intolerable into the tolerable is good enough for me these days.

ButterflyWings

(((EICY))) - when you posted in January he was sounding violent and volatile. This is more than enough of a risk that you should report it. Please. And don't wait for the next time OK? You are afraid of him, I understand, but that is putting you more at risk.

Here is the link from your earlier post. Lady Texan's advice that helped her stay safe with a physically abusive DH, is included. As well as many other comments encouraging you to take action now, before it is too late to save yourself. Not blaming your DH. Just recognizing he has a progressive disease that has hijacked his brain. And you are the target now, so please, please don't let this continue. We are with you.

https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?tid=2147559806&g=posts&t=2147559384

ButterflyWings

ttt