Has anyone shared with the local Police about pwd

toolbeltexpert

I was wondering if anyone has shared information about there LO with their local police or 911 In case thier lo wandered off.  I have been thinking about it and was looking for the feedback from this group. We are small town nothing is online. I talked with the sheriff without a lot of detail and he gave me the number of the person over the 911. What made me think about this was a news story , a woman with dementia had gone in a store and walked out without paying. The law was called and they chase her down, she was walking they tried to stop her,she just keep saying I am going home repeatedly. Well they dropped her cuffed her ect. It was obvious  to me from her voice and repeated I am going home I knew she had problems. The cops had never been trained.so scary. Thanks in advance

Rescue mom

Several people here have said, over the years, they told police they have a PWD in the home, and advise others to do so. This is one of those things I know I need to do and just haven’t. 

There are too many cases of cops dealing with a PWD without a caregiver near, and things go real bad, real fast. The dementia person doesn’t understand cops, and cops think the PWD is threatening or defiant.

That doesn’t even count the PWD wandering away.

Yes, cops should be trained on this. But the reality is they are not, or were long ago, or had an hour online about it. Etc. There’s just so many tragic examples.

This on my to-do list for tomorrow.

ButterflyWings

I was very reluctant to do this, but DH outed himself last summer. UTI madness took him off on foot cursing me out and wandering across backyards and through busy traffic, refusing to get into the car with me one day. I had to alert the local police with multiple cautions to the dispatcher that he was harmless, unarmed, and elderly.-- and that I was following in our car to keep line of sight as best as possible. It was hairy and scary, but the 2 young ladies they sent to intercept his excursion were really good. And I think their gender and patient approach to him made a difference. At one point he thought they were his associates or students and he had a good conversation until they pointed me out to him and he agreed to willingly leave their sidewalk tete a tete with me. Go figure.

Then a few months later, (another UTI), we had an involuntary social work ambulance transport to potentially have him transferred for psych-intake to get his AD meds straight. And that required a police standby, so 9 uniformed folks in our living room, paramedics and police, the referring social worker, firefighters, radio crosstalk, ambulance out front with lights and all (then off to the wrong hospital at first, NOT the one with his records...sigh) that was a different post a while back. Turned out to be another UTI, and while they didn't listen to me AT ALL once onsite, it was helpful that one of the officers was his buddy from the wandering episode so everyone followed her lead which was cordial and respectful -- and that may be the advantage if you do decide to alert your local police dept.

All things considered though, it was just a lot to get him to the medical care he needed (and was refusing); while still keeping him safe in a system that is more trained to focus on neutralizing a threat as quickly as possible-- and is often dismissive of the family member. This has been my experience through the years at least, and as you say there are many examples of the same. Some quite tragic. We need to ensure that every community has a special mental health team or team member with every dispatch -- honestly. That is how some countries (and affluent communities here) function. 

Our neighborhood is supposed to be a dementia-friendly community but even my family's experiences in the ER at various times let me know that unfortunately PWD and caregivers are not prioritized in the training that is based on addressing crime with "shoot first, ask questions later" tools, funds, and training. Especially for some communities.

Ed1937

Yes. The year before last, my wife was angry with me, and said she was leaving. She walked out the door, and I watched her until she was out of sight. Then I called police, who had her home within 10 minutes or so. They have a picture of her in their database, but it's about 20 years old, so I need to get a more recent one for them. They have all the information about her in the database. I absolutely advise everyone to get the info entered into their database. It's possible it could mean life or death.

Joe C.

My town has a Silver Alert database which involves filling out a form with particulars on your LO, provide a picture and emergency contact information. I did this several years ago but fortunately never had to use it.

billS

My local sheriff dept. became aware of my wife's dementia when one night she kicked me out of the house, thinking I was a weird stranger. I retreated to my workshop and notice the phone was in use, so I carefully picked up the extension to eavesdrop and sure enough, she was telling the dispatcher there was a stranger lurking on "her" property. I cut in and explained who I was and the dispatcher offered to send an officer out to intervene. They seemed to be very familiar with this sort of thing and managed to convince my wife that I was her husband. 

That episode came in handy months later when my wife was seen by passersby crawling on hands and knees in the middle of the night inside our fence, wearing nothing but panties. I was sound asleep and woke up when sheriff dispatcher called me to say my wife had been spotted outside. So yes, it is definitely imperative to alert local law enforcement.

Stuck in the middle

I remember that story.  They broke her arm, cuffed her, and left her weeping, handcuffed in a chair at the police station while they laughed about it.  They weren't untrained, they were criminals with badges.

If my wife had even the slightest tendency to wander, I would definitely inform 911, and do all in my power to keep her home.

I probably should do that anyway.  If I am carried away in an ambulance, someone needs to know a PWD has been left alone.

toolbeltexpert

Thanks everyone, I see that some of the bigger more affluent cities have Smart 911. Our town is small and can't afford those cost. 55,000 a year. I am gonna contact our 911 director and supply a picture, I just wonder how that will ever be used in an emergency. It's sounds like it's gonna be up to a person to retrieve that information and send it out to the responders.  The smart system automatically sends the profile to the responders. No matter, I will do the best I can for my DW.  And trust God.

Jo C.

I would not hesitate to inform the local small police department of your wife's diagnosis and also accompany that with a current photo of her. Do this not only in person, (if you can), verbally, but also in writing with a photo displayed on the outline you give them in writing.

Do the patrol cars have computers in them?  I cannot imagine that they do not no matter how small the department.   If so, should your wife go wandering and you cannot find her, the call would go out on the patrol car computers as a person with dementia having got lost and then will describe her.  The information you gave earlier can be held in the computer for the dispatcher; but when you make the call you  can also give a description at that time if that turns out to be necessary. The local police department will have a person on each shift that dispatches the calls - that is where all information will come from for the units.

If one makes a phone call of a missing LO to the local department, then a car would more than likely come to your house to get a report from you and the rest of the cars in the field would have been given the notice and description and would commence to be aware and looking for your wife.

NOTE: Having a LO go missing is a highly stressful and emotional situation.  Most often, if one uses 911 to make a report of a LO missing who has behavioral issues, then depending upon the size of the city/town and their services,  911 does elicit a response that can bring not only multiple police cars, but depending on how the call comes in on report from the family member, a fire engine and rescue unit and other involved parties such as a psychiatric social work team can also be a necessary part of the response which can be overwhelming in numbers at one's house, but the responders are working in the dark and must assess who will actually need to be involved depending on how that call had come in.

When communicating in such a situation and needing to cut down the confusion;  ask who is the person in charge of this call?  It will undoubtedly be the responding police unit.  After identifying the person, then use that person for initial communication as much as possible. If others must be involved in the assessment, and I would expect that would be necesssary, despite being unnerved by all that is happening, try to understand that and accept it will all be worked out together for what the approach and handling will best be once all the information has been obtained and is clear.  The responders will want to work fast due to the situation.

If there are a myriad of quesions being shouted at you all at one time and it is overwhelming, ask them to stop and let ONE person be the communicator/questioner at a time.  Also it is good to remember to say, "thank you," to all who do respond whether they are used in the search or not. They are there because they care and it is part of their service.

*************************************************************************TThe following is just a story you can choose to skip regarding a found missing person with no family initially available:

Our son is a police officer; he and another officer were in a patrol unit going back to their station from a distant training session.  To get to the station, they were driving a main road through a housing tract.  Suddenly; son saw an elderly man with a walker, naked from the waist down ambling slowly down a sidewalk adjacent to the road; he was heading toward an extremely busy boulevard just a block or so away.  Uh-oh.

Car came abreast of the man and stopped. The man looked over but did not seem to register. Son got out of the car and greeted the man saying, it was a nice day to take a walk; he asked if he was going any place special?  The man did not reply and did not seem to be processing. Son then gave his own name and asked the man what his name was; but the man did not know. Son got a blanket from the patrol car and asked and tried to have the man use it, but by his actions, the man refused.  Okay; will stay naked.   Son then had the other officer use the computer to look and see if there was any report of a missing person, but there was nothing; station was called but there was no such call made by anyone. Son decided at this point not to try and have the man get into the car so as not to agitate him, but realized at some point an ambulance would need to be called to transport to a local hospital.  Decided to try and see if they could quickly find the man's home.

Man began moving forward again going toward the busy boulevard.   Son said to the man, "It really is a nice day today; can I walk with you?"  The man indicated that it was okay.  Son then maneuvered the fellow and got him turned around going back the other way from where he had come.   Slowly, slowly, the two of them went; naked elderly man with a walker and a young man in a uniform with a police car moving slowly behind them. They got a block away and found the man's undershorts on the sidewalk; son put them on the man; they walked for several more blocks, officers looking up and down each street but seeing nothing. Just as they were about to make the call to have the man transported to an ER, another block was crossed; there was an elderly woman some houses down, looking extremely distressed moving swiftly down the sidewalk calling out a name.

Yes; it was the man's wife.  She had been looking for her missing husband and could not find him; he had been missing for a couple of hours.

It was SO fortunate that the man did not get to the hugely trafficked busy boulevard where disaster could have occurred, and it was fortunate the patrol car was where it was at the time it was.  Son then got the name and address of the man, and advised the wife how to contact the police station to put her husband's name and information in the computer.  He then told her who to contact regarding getting identification for her husband to wear and other information.

This was not a usual car on patrol that had calls backed up to answer; this unit was out of service coming back from training and there was time to be able to be spent. If it was a patrol unit that was busy with calls, the outcome would probably have been calling a transport ambulance quickly to get the fellow to a local ER so he would be safe and have medical care if necessary.

Long story I know; but the poor man was in danger, especially if he had reached that busy boulevard.  His wife just did not think of calling for help.

Always better to report earlier rather than later.  Call.

J.

LadyTexan

Absolutely YES.

I informed the police department. Additionally, whenever I call 911, I inform the dispatcher that DH has Alzheimer's. I also inform the responders when they arrive. DH wears a medical identification tag indicating he has Alz. I wear a medical id tag indicating that I am a caregiver. When we obtained DH's state id we were able to add a notation into the record that DH is impaired and is unable to follow instructions.

Joydean

We live in a country area, on a county road, but we have a great sheriff’s office. And yes they can and do have the ability to have this information in computer system. A few years ago when DH decided he was going to kill his self , I called 911 and the sheriff was here first and he spent time talking to DH while waiting for ambulance.  Months later that same sheriff stops by to just check on DH and visit with him for a few minutes. DH loves his short visit because DH likes bragging on our son who is a police officer in a much bigger town!

Jeff86

Once—and only once—DW wandered (fled, really) to our neighbor’s home, and said neighbor contacted the police.  So that put DW in our local police department database.  

The officers were very sympathetic and handled the situation well.  They also told me that they are required to inform me of our county’s Project Lifesaver program, which outfits PWDs with special bracelets with radio frequency/GPS trackers so wanderers can be found. They have a specially trained unit staffed with folks who come out to find PWDs who have wandered and bring them back home.  

toolbeltexpert

Bills and Jo C that is exactly what I want to avoid. We live on the county line, our home isn't visible from the county road.  Our terrain goes from  rolling to steep. There are places in the woods not a thousand yards away from our home that have 60ft bluffs.. About 10 years ago an elderly woman I knew drove up a mountain road  3 miles from our house, she got out of her car and walked off. That night I had gotten a 911 call that was sent to residents in the area saying if they wanted to volunteer to meet at the mountain. I called to confirm it wasn't a hoax. It was 9pm dark cold April night, the police wouldn't  let us go up so as to not confuse the search dogs. It started to rain about 2 am and they came down and said they would be back at first light. They didn't want anyone going up in the dark, let me tell you, you couldn't have stopped that family. I went with them and we searched till dawn. I went home got my 4 wheeler. We looked for a whole week I was there everyday from dawn till dark. She was found a week later. She had slid down into a place and couldn't get out. The only comfort to the family was closure. Thank God there wasn't  any  predation. It was so sad to see the family search day after day they searchd places most folks wouldn't dared, huge brush piles. This is rattle snake, copper head country. 3 new caves were discovered and named.  This is why I put a simple but effective lock on our doors. It's up high and I have shown her how to open it several times but she doesn't  remember how, no keys needed. She has woke me up at night and told me she was thinking about leaving I got so scared she might do that..

toolbeltexpert

Iwant to thank each one for sharing,I know some of your memories must be painful. I pray each one would including your loved one  will have a good night's sleep. You have helped me make a decision to share the information about my dw to help keep her safe. I hate Sharing this sometimes cause it makes it more real for me where this is all going.

DTSbuddy

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/125640#Comment_125640

Thanks for sharing. It's not your fault. I say this to myself daily, as I try to reconcile my husband's still attractive appearance with my disappointment that he has replaced the same person I married. A few months ago he walked out. My next door neighbors helped me cruise the neighborhood on a cold, dark evening, and find him. We have alarms now, his boots are locked up, and I keep my shoes by the door in case he makes a fast exit. I keep an air tag in the wallet he alway carries. Last week, he insisted on a 9 pm walk, so we bundled up and went. The stars were out, and it was actually lovely.

DCCEPEK

Absolutely let the local fire and police. We're very rural and if there's a problem they are on it. They need to know otherwise they will treat LO HORRIBLE.

SSHarkey

Wow, people! I have learned a lot reading this thread! Thank you for all you have shared! I will investigate what is available with our local law enforcement agencies!