two PWDs living together

willwen

Hi, I have two PWDs who have been living together with me as caregiver for a few years. It has been manageable as they have been mild to moderately demented but they complement each other thus actually make my work easier in some ways (for example, they can keep each other company so I can have more free time).  However, their dementia seems to have worsened lately. I wonder if they could cause each other to get worse, for example one being frustrated by the other (both not understanding or accepting their own condition)  ?

abc123

I wish I could help you! I have no experience with tending to two PWD. I do support you and wish you the best on your journey. Hopefully, others will have advice to share with you! Hang in there. You are amazing!

harshedbuzz

willwen-

That's an interesting question. I'd guess no. 

Given the nature of dementia- whether Alzheimer's, vascular, mixed or something else- you have to expect a decline in function and change in symptoms/behaviors as the disease damages the brain. It's how dementia works whether the PWD is following best practices with a team trying to engage them or not. Dementia is progressive.

MCFs and some SNFs have this very set-up- a cohort of PWD, often at varying stages, living and socializing together. As in any group living arrangement, sometimes deep bonds are made and sometimes not. 

I have seen 2 scenarios where someone set up a MCF for 2- at home with staff support. One was my aunt who gravitated to a life-long frenemy's house when the utilities cut of her power for non-payment. They'd both retired to Maine and were widowed (their DHs had been friends- they were more competitors- I recall the pair of them each trying to lure a stray cat away from the other, neither with the intention on adoption). Alice's family supplied a "caregiver" in the form of a ne-re-do-well niece after she and Louisa were stopped driving in the fog with Alice at the wheel and Louisa looking for the yellow lines with the door of the car open. The went on almost a year until family stepped in and each woman was diagnosed and moved closer to family. 

In the other case, a wife in a couple had a great aunt who had dementia and assets to support 24/7 in-home care. They purchased her a cottage near them for her and added his mom after a time. These two barely interacted at all despite living together. The aunt developed dementia later, so she was still fairly rational when the mom- who also had mental health issues- moved in. The older lady's dementia progressed more rapidly once it became obvious even though mom's was apparent first. Prior to dementia, I don't think these two would have had much in common. 

HB

eaglemom

That is a very interesting question. Frankly one I'd not thought of myself. My knee jerk thought would be no, but I have no reason to feel that way.

I will try and do some research and report back my findings.

eagle

willwen

abc123 - thanks for your kind words... it's been quite a learning curve for the past year and I guess the road ahead will be even more challenging.

HB - thanks for the examples and info. I have no experience with MCFs and can only imagine that the more difficult PWDs would be kept in isolation most of the time. I shall continue with the present setup probably until one of them becomes too difficult to manage.