Questions about pwd remembering spouces name.

toolbeltexpert

Hello everyone it hasn't happened yet, but I was wondering if the first time a pwd can't  remember your name is that it. From then on out will they not remember or is it maybe somedays and  then finally  progresses to they never remember. My dw is starting to have troubles with nieces and nephews and there relationship  with family members. I think I read somewhere that the incontinence starts once a month the once a week till its everyday. I guess maybe I have answered my own question. And maybe I should just understand when she's having a good day.

Kenzie56

Hi TB, my experience is that I find every day is different. Sometimes, in DH's mind, I am the "aide" that comes to the house and DH talks to me about his wife and dogs (without using names); sometimes when I am working at my computer, I am an office "colleague" and he will walk by and tell me about a family member as if I have not a clue; sometimes I am his wife, but he isn't quite sure how long we have been together and he will ask if I know his brother, sister, etc.; then there are times when the real aide comes in he will say "You know my wife, right? Her name is ___". I just take it as it comes. I never correct him because it really isn't important. He started forgetting my name and who I was in 2019. At one time he said there were all these women in the house coming and going...at least we are all down to one. The one thing that is confusing for others is that he refers to the dogs as people. He forgot their names long ago and refers to the two females as males: the black guy and the white guy and blames every missing item or his shenanigans on them.  Just have to roll with it - not sure there is a timeline for things like this...I find he remembers some things one day and can't the next - it is ever changing.

Josie in Podunk

With my mother in law it was occasional.  Sometimes she thought her son was his son…sometimes she thought he was her brother…mostly she knew who he was or would remember if her daughter corrected her.

I do remember the day she first forgot her daughter, who was her primary caregiver, when she walked through the room without her ubiquitous ball cap on.  She asked me who it was, I answered, and was told no that’s not her.  Initially, I thought oh shoot here we are.  Then I had my sis in law put her hat on and Mama Gert said “oh, there you are.” 

My uneducated guess would be that it can be very Swiss cheesy for a time.  Yet, everyone is different, so who really knows.

harshedbuzz

It's hard to say.

My dad never forgot the names of my mom and myself or my late sister and her two daughters (the girls lived with him for a time when their mom was dying and then after). He did become hazy on my son- he knew the name but could not identify him in a lineup and once confused him with his urologist. He forgot my DH entirely which is odd in the context of "going back in time" as he pre-dated one niece by 2 years and DS by almost 10. 

A dear friend's mom, initially started to "forget" her in the late afternoons and evenings. It seemed mom thought she was another caregiver; while it crushed my friend she took some solace in her mom bragging about what an awesome person her daughter was. Over time, her mom became more and more confused as to who she was. 

My one aunt (primary dx was VD) forgot her sisters slowly at the very end, but once each was forgotten they seemed gone for good. It was interesting that she recalled the most adversarial one (and not in a good way) and not the one who was her caregiver and came to the MCF to handfeed her lunch daily. 

HB

Crushed

Different dementias have different effects.  My mother had vascular dementia and knew names right up to her death bed.  SW has alzheimer's and lost my name 4 years ago

Jeff86

I think of name recall like a light bulb.  It burns brightly and clearly.  Then , it starts to flicker, sometimes on, sometimes not.  Eventually, the flickering stops and then there’s no more light.  

That’s how it was with my DW, at any rate.  She has not known my name for some time.

M1

We only recently hit this milestone TBE and so far it has been intermittent.  Most of the time she seems to know who I am and can still dial my cellphone if I'm out, which is not often\.  But at least twice she has talked to me about myself in the third person, and she clearly has forgotten much of our history.  She has forgotten most of her personal family relationships too