Amusing observations at the MC facility
There is always something to chuckle at when I visit my wife in MC. While moving her back into her room from her hospital stay I noticed many of her clothes were missing, along with a new walker, nice winter jacket, two pair of jeans, and all of her socks. The next morning when I checked in at the main office I gave a list to the patient care coordinator. She smiled and said, "Oh yes, we're working on that. Fern and her new friend Nancy like to get their clothes out, fold them and move them around." We had a good laugh. I thought hey, at least she is keeping busy!
And Nancy, a petite African American woman, is quite the character. She is often seen sleeping in an easy chair with a very large Caucasian doll in her arms. I think, shouldn't someone get her a doll of color?
Fern's appetite is really great. While watching her eat breakfast the other morning, she powered down a big plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, toast, orange juice and coffee. (Good thing since she is too thin.) She polished her plate clean while her table mates all left food on theirs. I remarked to a staff member how good Fern's appetite is. She replied with a smile, "Oh yes, we always give her extra!"
The other day was National Pizza Day, so staff organized a make your own pizza project for residents, using English muffins as crusts. Well, apparently Fern could not resist eating one of her muffins before putting any toppings on it!
Comments
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It must be oddly satisfying to your soul to find some humor in her days.
My mother in law adjusted well to memory care after insisting she was NOT going to participate in anything because she wasn’t like them and we were all terrible for moving her there.
But, when we returned to visit after the adjustment period, there her happy, little social self was involved in just about everything they offered and oh, so proud of her art collection, as she called it.
Besides need 24/7 care, she had become very isolated in her home even though her daughter was with her daily. Mama Gert had been a social butterfly at her condo until dementia took her brilliant mind. And, at 91, she had outlived all her friends. The “new kids” as she called them, had no history with her and, therefore, thought her just another odd old lady.
Memory care was good for her and her positive adjustment made all our lives much less filled with guilt.
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Adored the patients where my aunt was at. Got to know them and some recognized me.0
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Another thing that strikes me when visiting is that although much of what residents say to each other makes no sense, it always seems to be said with a smile, and the exchange of smiles is the real communication that's happening.0
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I just love this for you and for her! Doesn’t it feel good knowing she is somewhere good and well taken care of? The antics with the clothes made me smile as well. I know the biggest relief after moving my mom was to see how involved she was in the activities. It made me realize that even though I was giving her love and care at my home I was not able to provide the stimulation and socialization she so desperately needed and loves. Great job Bill, and thanks for the smile!0
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Bill, I'm glad you can pick up on the positives, and I hope I can do that when our time comes.0
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Bill, thank you so much for posting about your wife’s experiences. It’s so good to hear that the move has been so positive for both of you. I’m sure it’s a great relief knowing she is happy and engaged.0
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Bill thanks for sharing! Sounds like your Fern and Nancy are great friends. I don’t think anyone could ask for anything better. She’s happy, well taken care of. I know it’s not the life you both had, but to have this horrible disease and still be able to have new friends and find some happiness, can’t ask for better. Hope you are getting some of those things you wanted to do around your home.0
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I am extremely appreciative of your updates. I can only hope that when the time comes the MCF I find is as good as the one you found. And that time is on the horizon.0
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Yesterday, as I was getting ready to leave the DH’s MCF, a female resident took me by the arm. She said, “Does he like to do moron things? Or would he like to come along and calabash?” I just said yes. Then she took me by the hand and said “OK, come along, I’ll see you out.”
Earlier, while walking DH through the cottage, I noticed the same resident had DH’s Cooperstown baseball Hall of Fame throw neatly arranged across her bed. In the past I’ve heard her chatting with other residents about going shopping at the “store”. DH was wearing a T-shirt with a skeleton on it, not his. Maybe it’s a bartering situation. There’s always something interesting going on at the cottage.
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I visited my DH daily when he was in MC and I found all the residents to be precious. One lady loved chocolate and every time I went for the visit, I took her a piece of chocolate she always knew when I was there and she always came and gave me a hug, she wanted me to sneak the candy into her pocket she did not want to share this with anyone. Funny thing was as I was walking to the MC section, I had to walk down the hall in AL I always found the chocolate candies in a few candy dishes the AL residents would leave outside their doors.
My DH was not too happy there but two of the lady residents would sit next to him and they would all hold hands, this was so sweet and did not bother me at all, I was thankful for that comfort. One of the ladies would even help my DH at the dining table if he needed it. I found this to be like my extended family. I will never forget the loving care he received there. And yes it did help with the guilty feeling I had.
Bill that is a very sweet precious picture of Fern. And it sounds like she is in a very special place. Hugs Zetta
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Tan Cumming says the inability to smile is a sign death is near. Keep smiling!0
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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