Alternatives for care

GuySmith

I'm looking for alternatives for my mom's care, and I'm open to suggestions:

CURRENT SITUATION: Mom is Stage-5 and in an assisted living facility. She is unhappy there, but it is a controlled access community so she is not confined to a memory care unit.

NON-OPTIONS: She cannot live with either child (one is handicapped and the other's house is ill suited). She cannot live alone due to doctors' recommendations for 24x7 monitoring. She is also likely a walk-away risk, which is why all other ALFs I have approached will only take her as a memory care unit patient.

I looked into home care, but at current prices for 24x7, mom would burn through all her money in 4-5 years. Given the longevity of her family (everyone lives into their mind 90s), that 4-5 year window is possibly too short, especially if unexpected expenses arise.

Any suggestions for providing long-term 24x7 care are welcome. I realize that at Stage-5, the situation can quickly change, but I like hedging my bets and making sure she has all the assets necessary to live a long life.

Marta

What are your concerns with the other option:  MC?

Quilting brings calm

Marta - my guess would they are bothered by the price and by mom being a little too high level for MC.

To the post- my thoughts are that you have to do what is suitable for mom now and in the 3-4 year window.  If she  lives longer then her money, then she will have to go on Medicaid and into a Medicaid facility.  But she needs appropriate care now and that’s a certainty/ her life expectancy is not.  Especially her life expectancy with cognitive and body  function high enough to be suitable for assisted living or memory  care. You can’t skimp on  todays care worrying about 10 years from now. 

My parents  are in as assisted  living. They are in their 80s.  I had to place them where they would be safe and well cared for as they could not live at my home( both because of the home itself and because I can’t be a 24/7 caregiver), could not live out on their own and the rest of their children weren’t able to take them either. They’ve been there over 2 years.  We will cross the bridge into Medicaid after 4-5 more years if they live that long.  But I had to worry about the here and  now first. 

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Stuck in the middle

Guy, I agree with what has been said above.  I think good care for the next few years, while she is still aware of her surroundings, would be of more benefit to her.

You probably know AD is a fatal illness, but I mention it in case you don't.  Your LOs family history of longevity may not hold.

aod326

I also agree with what others have said, and MC may well be the route to go. As an option though, a live-in carer is considerably less expensive than 24-hour care provided by multiple people. Where I am in NJ, live-in was $9k/mth, vs. $16k/mth for 24-hour care.

Marta

Hello, Guy. What are your concerns with putting Mom in MC?

How old is she?  And how is her health?

​fesk

I agree with the advice to provide the best care you can now and in the immediate future as we don't know what the future will bring. I am not placing my mother now but I am faced with the same issues regarding the cost of care. I struggle with trying to find a balance to provide the care that is needed now while keeping an eye on the future with the cost being a constant concern. 

I do not know what memory care facilities are charging in my area but I do know the cost of home care has gone up considerably - whether you are hiring through an agency or privately hiring. I also thought that certain facilities will allow you to stay once you are on Medicaid if you privately pay for a certain number of years. Hopefully, someone here can fill in those details. 

rose03

Hi, OP! I agree with most of the comments here. Putting her in a Memory Care facility has to be one of your best options at the moment. They have the right equipment and training needed to be able to care for someone with dementia. You can learn more about them here: https://seasonsretirement.com/memory-care-the-seasons-way-learning-to-embrace-today/.