Tips for diaper changing

May flowers

For a while my FIL has been ornery when I’m changing his diaper at night and cussing, no big deal, but lately he has been grabbing our hands, kicking, or grabbing the diaper. Even if we talk to him cheerfully and empathize with him and tell him it will be over soon, he’s not able to calm down.

With 2 people we can handle it, with one, it’s really hard. How do you do it?

Neverends

From first hand experience when I worked in a nursing home the answer is , you can't change a grown man or woman who is kicking and being resistive.  You either have  to wait till he " maybe calms down" or get help from another person. Ugh that's a tough situation.

ImMaggieMae

Is there a medication his doctor could prescribe that might calm things down? Is it only the diaper changing that elicits this response or are there other situations as well? It’s tough enough having to change soiled clothing, especially during the night when you’re tired as well, without having to deal with this kind of resistance.

May flowers

Maggie, the only time he is like this is with the diaper. He does not mind clothing changes, getting pull-ups on during the day, brushing his teeth, shaving, showers, haircuts, cutting his nails… 

He hates us having to roll him to one side then the other. I even bought a wipe warmer thinking that might help.

It is too minor a thing (at this point) to put him on meds for it. We just got him off all the zombie meds from the MC, and very glad to have him alert and aware again. 

I am more or less hoping for a tip, how to hold both hands and maneuver the diaper around, etc. He is is frail, and not strong, so he is not hurting me at all, it is just that when I take one hand off the diaper, another latches on, to the diaper or me, meanwhile the legs are kicking. Ugh!

aod326

I was astonished at how strong my DH became when being changed. It was particularly difficult because he would grab onto the bars of the hospital bed and it was really hard to get him to let go. Or I'd be leaning over to pull him to one side, and he'd grab my sweater and I'd be stuck.

I found a trick from someone on here and it worked very well about 80% of the time. I bought two rope dog toys and would put one in each hand before we started. As he was holding on to them, he couldn't hold anything else. 

When he pressed his legs together rigidly, I'd put something else in his hands to distract him. I resurrected an old "Build-A-Bear" that his kids had got him years ago and he'd be distracted by trying to take off it's clothes (a hockey uniform) and squeeze the noise-maker in it's leg.

Initially I felt horrible that I was using dog toys and a child's toy - it seemed so demeaning. Then I realized we do whatever helps.

Good luck.

May flowers

aod, that is a great idea! Initially his holding the bed railings was helpful keeping him on one side, but then things get hairy when trying to unlock that grip! Giving him something to hold makes so much sense.

Don’t feel badly about the toys… I was surprised my first trip to the MC to see various toys and dolls (I thought, wow, my FIL is way to advanced for all this). But here we are, not even a year later - I keep him entertained with matchbox cars, baby blocks, Rubik’s cube, duplos (big legos), and a dementia fidget pillow. He “plays” with all these things - keeps his hands busy and mind occupied. He really likes stacking the blocks (must be the engineer in him coming through) 

jfkoc

It may be that the rolling makes him feel dizzy or off balance. Maybe a bed rail to hold on to or how about the old standby of singing for distraction.