Getting worse(2)

Buggsroo

My husband has taken to stripping naked and sitting around, heaping abuse on me. He drools and has fecal accidents regularly. When he doesn’t get what he wants like having a meal right after he just finished one, he starts yelling, smashing things and just basically being a total a hole. To say I am sick of this would be the understatement of the year.

I want shot of this crappy existence. I feel awful, it is endless. Happily he is unaware that he is behaving like a giant toddler. He is taking rispiridone twice a day and trazadone at night. He wakes me up really early in the morning so I am sleep deprived. 

ladyzetta

Dear Buggsroo,

This does not sound like a safe place for you. Have you thought about placement? Do you have a safe place that you can go to in your home, if you need to? Take Care/ Hugs Zetta 

jmlarue

If that was my situation, I would make a video of his behavior as back up and then I would call Medics to have him taken in for a geri psych admit. He wouldn't be coming back home to me until they could assure me that his behavior has been medically stabilized. The term "caregiver" doesn't mean "martyr" by putting yourself at risk of physical injury or a mental breakdown.

ImMaggieMae

I agree that it doesn’t sound like a safe situation for you. Have you spoken to his doctor about adjusting his medications?

Pat6177

Buggsroo, I don’t have any suggestions that the others haven’t already made.  I just want to say I’m sorry your having to deal with this. It sucks!

abc123

Dear Bugs, I am worried about you, your health and safety. I agree with the others. Do you have a plan in place? People here talk about having a Plan A, B and C if needed. You matter every bit as much as he does. Please keep us posted on how YOU are doing. I'm so sorry for you and him. I hate this disease.

Sligo177

Bugsaroo,

Just to add my sympathy to others, for what you are going through - your DH doesn't know what he's doing and he could hurt you physically, in addition to this emotional abuse.  I agree, do something now, please don't let this go on.  You deserve to be safe and I am so sorry.

JudyMorrowMaloney

My DH went through a period when he would throw things around, scream at me, and generally act like an ahole. I placed him in a nursing home. The place sucked and I eventually brought him home but at least he was more stabilized when I did.

Ed1937

Buggsroo, I'm sorry to say that I think it's probably past time for placement. I just read your profile again, and it seems he has been showing aggression for quite some time. Unless you can get medications that will work well for him, I don't think you have any good choice except for placement. I'm sorry.

Beachfan

Buggs, I am sorry.  I have no advice to add to what everyone else has already offered.  I am sympathetic to your situation and feeling a little guilty that I am not in your shoes.  I hope you can get some help; no one should suffer this kind of abuse, regardless of the mental state of the perpetrator.

Joydean

Buggsroo, you deserve so much better. I’m sorry you are being put through all of that crap. There has to be some medication that can help him not be so aggressive and demanding. Call his doctor and ask for it! Do it for you! 

Take care! 

Buggsroo

Thank you all for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

I plan to call his doctor on Monday and see if I can’t get him on more rispiridone, it seems to help, it does however wear off, so I honestly hope he will up the dosage. As for getting him placed, I am working on that. I have a consultation hopefully soon with a geriatrician, apparently my husband’s dementia is a special kind (aren’t they all?) 

I have noticed physical deterioration, he is starting to drool, he shuffles when he walks and he is somewhat crouched over. He is starting to behave strangely at night, he told me he loved both of us the other night. He just lives with me so I asked him what he meant. He said I love you mom and dad. That really made me sad. He also came downstairs fully dress telling me he would drive me to work. I told him it was ok, I work from home and he smashed up our car two years ago. His take on reality really lessens at night. 

I notice is getting weaker, so I am definitely stronger than he is. He also yells and screams, makes weird noises and stamps his feet. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you all. This forum has really helped. I am experiencing compassion fatigue which is pc for I want shot of all of this. Thanks for your help. Rant over.