So it begins

White Crane

About six weeks ago I shared that DH had what we think was a TIA and had wet himself.  Since then, he has had a few more "accidents."  Two night ago, he was brushing his teeth before bed and remarked that he must have spilled some water because the floor was wet.  It wasn't water.  Yesterday late afternoon, he came upstairs where I was putting away laundry and told me he had an "accident."  His jeans were soaked.  He was so embarrassed and I felt so sad for him.  At the same time, a stab of fear went through me.  He is becoming urinary incontinent.  He said he didn't know he had to go and was unaware he was urinating until he felt wet.  I feel so sad as I write this and rather depressed, too.  Another step downward in this cruel journey.  Today he will be in Depends.  I do have some questions though.

1.  I know Ed has posted about what brand of disposable underwear he buys for his DW.  Please, what should I buy?  Will Depends hold a full load of urine?

2.  What kind of pads do I need to buy for the bed?  Where do I buy them?  Should I put them under the fitted sheet or on top and put on a draw sheet?

3.  Should I put pads on his recliner and cover them with a towel?

4.  What product do I buy to sanitize his wet clothes when I do laundry?  I don't want to use bleach on his jeans.

5.  I have him use a wipe to clean himself after each accident.  They seem so small.  Is there another type of disposable wipe I could buy that would be better?

^.  Do I start taking a "diaper bag" along now when we go someplace?  If so, what should be included. 

7.  Should I say something to his Dr. about this or just accept it as a part of Alzheimer's progression?

Thank you all so much for being here. 

toolbeltexpert

White Crane sorry for this next step in this horrible disease. I can't  offer  you any advice, but I know there are plenty who will. Ed had a recent post about this. I hear about some who double and triple stuff on the bed for night time accidents. I keep following cause I don't  know what tomorrow holds for my dw. Praying for ya.

Ed1937

Brenda, I'm sorry. It is no picnic. I'm putting a link to the pull ups we use. After trying a few different brands, these have worked best for us. But they might not for you. I order from parentgiving.com, and I think it is an excellent company. They have several different types of incontinence wear, and for most, you can order samples for $2.99 for a pack of 2. I would recommend trying different samples to see which work best for you. These are the ones we use. https://www.parentgiving.com/shop/dry-direct-ultimate-protective-underwear-9310/p/  Be aware that if you do order the ones we use (they are called "Ultimates"), they offer these made in the U.S., and also those made in Italy. The ones made in Italy seem to be a little better than those made in U.S. When you are looking at the product page, it will tell you where they are made. It is easy to order the wrong ones if you don't look for the origin of the product.

I don't remember where I ordered the waterproof pads, but I bought large washable pads. If I put one on our full size bed, and put the long side across the bed, it will reach across the bed. It got to the point that she wet the bed so badly that it went around the pad, and got the rest of the bed wet. I went to the dollar store, and bought shower curtains for $1.25 each. These will protect the whole bed, and are not uncomfortable.

I use layering on the bed. First is a waterproof mattress cover, followed by a fitted sheet, a flat sheet, then a waterproof pad. This is followed by a fitted sheet, a flat sheet, and another waterproof pad. Then a fitted sheet, a flat sheet, etc. If I should have to change wet sheets in the middle of the night, I can take one layer off, and have a dry bed in less than a minute or two. The wet sheets are put aside to wash when I get up in the morning. When you get the right incontinence product for him, you will probably not have to change sheets very often in the middle of the night. You will get it figured out.

You asked about larger wipes. Dry Direct also offers large wipes on the parentgiving site. Look over the site because they have a lot of excellent articles on incontinence, as well as other things. And you can call to talk to their consultants if you have any questions. Again, I think it's an excellent business.

Something just came up, and I have to go. But I'll check back later to see if I can add anything else for you.

Arrowhead

I report changes in the course of the disease to my wife's doctor at every visit. While it will not change the progress, he may suggest medicines to help combat some problems that arise.

Ed1937

Sorry I got called away. I'll try to answer some of the other questions, but be aware that this is only my own opinion.

You should be able to buy the pads on many places online. Just do a google search, or try parentgiving.com. You can buy disposable or the type that you can wash. Sorry, I don't have any specific recommendations, but I'd suggest you buy large pads.

It would be a good idea to protect furniture where possible. A lot of people use "Chucks". I have no experience with them. I do use a piece of plastic, like a shower curtain, covered with a towel or something.

I don't think it is necessary to sanitize clothing. I just wash as necessary. Oxi Clean is one thing I've used in addition to laundry detergent. I think it helps.

I just keep a bag in the car in case it is needed. This contains a complete change of clothing, and incontinence underwear. Also keep a bag for dirty clothing in case you need it. And wipes. I have not had to use it because she rarely leaves the house now.

In my opinion, it would not hurt to talk to the doctor about this. It's possible he has a UTI. If you have him tested for that, ask for a culture with it. That will give them the best information on what type of antibiotic will be best if there is an infection.

If you have any other questions, let us know. Don't be afraid to call parentgiving. They are very helpful.

Pam BH

White Crane, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. It truly is a slam in the gut when it happens no matter how prepared for it you thought your mind was. I can happily recommend every single thing Ed said and I'm very grateful for his suggestions. The layering of the sheets and pads absolutely work. I use washable crib pads because they don't have a crinkly sound. The only thing I haven't done yet is use the better incontinence wear. So far Depends is working but have checked out the website he recommended and will use them when and if Depends stop catching it all. I also use OxiClean for the wash.  Good luck and kudos to you for your forward thinking of how to ward off problems.

Gig Harbor

One other thing I have seen recommended is take him into the bathroom every two hours. If he is embarrassed about having accidents you can say that this will help from having accidents happen. Memory cares do this. I think it is easier to spend the time in the bathroom every two hours than changing diapers and clothes. There are also some utube videos on changing depends without having to take off all clothes. Good luck.I am not there yet but I will be following your journey and will learn from you.

Jo C.

White Crane, I am sorry this has been happening.   You have received a lot of very good advice from folks with experience. 

I would like to echo Ed; please have your husband checked for a "silent" UTI; that is, one with no overt symptoms such as pain or burning upon voiding.  Sometimes urinary incontinence is the only symptoms of such an issue.  (Other times is can be a change in behaviors.)

Do not depend upon home dipstick tests; those have a very high error rate. Get the doctor to order a UA with a C/S; that will pick up anything that may be present.  One can get sterile collecting cups at a lab.  I usually asked for several that I kept in their sterile packaging as we had to test rather often for recurring UTIs.

J.

Paris20

I use Tena super pull ups for men. They have a pin stripe pattern so I can get my husband to wear them at night because he’s a Yankee fan. I actually add another super pad (any brand is OK) into the disposable underwear. He has not leaked through since. During the day, my husband wears regular-looking briefs that actually have an absorbent pad built in. They are washable. I add a super pad to those as well. It works. No leaking through clothes or furniture.

jfkoc

Protect everything and layer up on the bed starting with a 6 sided waterproof cover. For pads I used crib waterproof pads....draw sheet is good for several used. The keys are waterproof and layering.

Joydean

White crane, when Ed had posted before the parent giving website, I visited the site and started buying just in case. They do have large wipes and they are very helpful and not pushy at all. I received my order in just a couple of days. You can get the crib pads on Amazon. I thank Ed and lady T for all their information on this.  Best of luck.

ImMaggieMae

White Crane, I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. I use Depends or similar brand pull ups for DH. He goes into the bathroom often on his own but the brain doesn’t always communicate correctly with the body either for urinating or bowels. The urinary started within weeks of the bowels. It started this last Dec I think. Accidents are usually during the day and not often expected, maybe 4 or 5 times per week. In addition to products others mentioned, this diaper pail for Depends or such has made life much easier for us. Odors are contained for 4 or 5 days if the bowel accidents aren’t huge. We have one in the upstairs bathroom and one down. https://www.amazon.com/Dekor-Classic-Hands-Free-Diaper-Easiest/dp/B00R5BVLXW/ref=pd_day0fbt_img_1/137-2975703-1461635?pd_rd_w=Z6Dif&pf_rd_p=bcb8482a-3db5-4b0b-9f15-b86e24acdb00&pf_rd_r=BG7ZJBB5M9E9ARRY6DRK&pd_rd_r=cc7e70a9-5beb-462f-b6f3-91057150f376&pd_rd_wg=6CGzf&pd_rd_i=B00R5BVLXW&psc=1

The Classic size works for us. 

We also use mattress pads and pads for places that he sits on the furniture. This one works well so far https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01LR99P44/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1

RobertsBrown

An 'away bag' is a good idea.

Mine is an accident repair kit, so a full change of clothes, two pairs of socks, slippers in case of fouled shoes, a kitchen-size trash bag for soiled clothes, wet wipes, cotton wash clothes, a bottle of water, and some trail mix as a snack.  I have not added soap or dental care stuff, but eventually I will add hair ties, hair brush, hat, etc.  Basically, a complete overnight bag.

I worry about bleach wreaking my clothes too, but i believe it's necessary for my household issues.  My solution is to pre-wash soiled laundry in our deep laundry sink with detergent and Clorox, then rinse and wring until all the soap and Clorox are out, and then toss them in the wash.  I also have to immediately wash my hands free of the Clorox/soap combo to prevent skin reactions to bleach.

White Crane

Thank you all so much for all the good information!  I made a list of all your suggestions so I don't forget them.  I will be checking out the website from Ed as well as the Amazon links for the diaper pail and pads.  And I will probably be assembling an "away bag" just in case.  We don't go too many places but I would hate to go out and not be prepared.  Also, I am going to call his primary care doctor this morning and see about getting him  tested for a UTI.  He stayed dry yesterday and resisted my attempts to get him to visit the bathroom every couple of hours.  I have never had to deal with an incontinent adult but I raised four children so all the information about crib pads and diaper pails is coming back to me.  God bless each of you for all your support.

Brenda

Ed1937

Brenda, I received an email for $5.00 off on the large wipes. Here's the link, and the code for discount is DDWIPES. https://www.parentgiving.com/shop/dry-direct-extra-soft-cleansing-wipes-9306/p/23863/?trk_msg=80B0AMBQBHDK39V5P9TNF8RSG8&trk_contact=E10QAI82498933KAJ1JTIH27S0&trk_sid=BVSP1J1VVTQLK8DKTRDHJ8FT1S&trk_link=29O5DHBVELN496O4941R07DLKG&utm_source=Listrak&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=Dry+Direct+Extra+Soft+Cleansing+Wipes+Sale&utm_campaign=Dry+Direct+Wipes+Promo&utm_content=DDWIPES  

White Crane

Thanks, Ed!

Joydean

White crane, I add a cup of baking soda to wash and it helps with order!

ImMaggieMae

We don’t go out as often anymore and our “away bag” had just been a plastic shopping bags in the trunk of the car. I was trying to think of something that didn’t look like an obvious diaper bag and came up with the idea of a backpack. They come in so many different sizes and weights and can be hands free which is a big plus. I love all of your suggestions of things to include. I hadn’t thought of socks and slippers.