Let's go fishing

toolbeltexpert

It might seem like a strange topic,but it's what I realized this morning. Peter in the Bible says I am going fishing. Jesus had died and life was so different,Peter had walked with Jesus,seen and done miraculous things, and now Jesus is gone. That's what the last four years have been for me,since I left my pastoral position.  I have walked with Jesus 17 years and done and seen miraculous things. Let me make it clear I am no better than anyone one else. I made my life available to walk with Jesus and I don't regret a second. But I miss that walk. I have gone back to fishing. Not really but really,I used to spend day and night fishing, before I met Jesus and have been thinking about getting a fishing license.  What am I thinking? Going back to fishing to me really means I have struggled with personal sin I have gone back to some of my former ways, anger.  My walk with Jesus was always my priority, and I want that back. Lord help me.  I have wanted to rant, the last couple of days have been rough, I can't seem to do anything right. Yesterday was a really bad morning dw got mad and I fell right in with her,10 seconds later I knew that if I continued it was gonna be a real bad day. To make a long story short I kept trying to make it better and I ended the day making my dw a treat. Not that she needed it but I want to do all the good I can now. I am not gonna go fishing.

Ed1937

That looks delicious!

toolbeltexpert

She ate the whole thing. Sometimes ice cream is all she will eat, this morning is so much better. Got alexia playing sitting on the dock, dw is cooking sausage links. what a difference a day makes. I'll take it. Thanks Ed.

Marie58

toolbeltexpert, I get it. We spend so much time on our LOs that something has to give. My daily devotions have taken a hit. I pray a lot tho, as I can do that on the run!! Bless you for your years of ministry.

toolbeltexpert

Marie my years of ministry were pure joy, I worked at a non profit for 6 years at Feed America First, then I served at 2 small rural  churches. That was very challenging but it was a part of my faith journey, as the song goes , " I wouldn't take nothing for my journey for my now." I spent thousands of hours studying and loved to minister to the flock and the community. I  have been on mission trips to Louisiana,  Costa Rica, Guatemala. It's  the 24/7  stress of how do I handle every little thing without dumping the apple cart. Dw hurts herself, pounds on furniture, hits herself in the head and uses objects to hit her legs. Her wrists hurt her legs are bruised.  It doesn't take much.  I get up early to do as many chores as I can and setup the morning, like you I pray alot we still do a daily devotional, down from 2, because it was too hard to keep the readi gs and books together it was just too confusing.  This morning I got up at 345 and this was the first time I spent some time reading , and the first time in years since I wrote in my journal. Another thing that hit me after my reading, I was filling the wood stove, the top was open and the coals were glowing, I had  noticed that everytime peter was refined he was by a fire.  To be used we need to be refined by the fire to make us pure in every way.  Thank you for your kind words.  I hope these words bless you.Rom 15:13 And may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Joydean

Toolbelt, thank you for your kind words. I too was a minister. Now I just minister in a different way, not from a pulpit. I find it more enlightening now. After my husband is in bed sound asleep, I study my Bible. This may sound strange but for me the scriptures are showing me meaning that I never saw before. My sister and I discuss the Bible sometimes when we get a chance to talk, and I shared with her how much more the Holy Spirit is showing me in our Fathers holy word. I know I can not make it one day without studying. 

This does not mean I don’t get upset or angry or scared, because I do! But I also know I can still find peace in His Words.