The futility of reason and pleasing

Lynne D

This morning I sneezed and my HWD shouted “Shut the f&@& up.” 

This was a lesson to me that my actions are, at times, always going to anger him no matter if they are kind, involuntary, whatever. Sometimes you just can’t do anything right, and it is not my fault.

toolbeltexpert

Lynne d  you're right it is not your fault. I too sometimes struggle to figure what has angered dw. It's  such a struggle. Sending hugs your way.

mrl

Hi Lynne,

I was just crying over my late DH...till I read your post and busted out laughing, sorry,

but I really needed the laugh! Ya just can't win sometimes.

Michele 

Lynne D

Ah MRL, that makes me feel good. Sorry for your loss.

Neverends

After taking my 87 year old mother into the bathroom and trying to change her crappy pants all the while making up.all kinds of stories  so she doesnt  " get mad". She kept asking me what I was doing as I was cleaning her up with wipes as quickly as I could because she has - 0  patience. I inadvertently  used the statement, " cleaning up crap" . Well she spit in my face, I barely held my temper. I left her in the bathroom to pick.up her own pants. I went outside to regroup, thankless job. I totally  understand.

Joydean

Lynne I just don’t understand why you can’t control your sneezing! Just kidding. Wow if something as simple as a sneeze makes him angry I don’t know how you are surviving. Maybe he needs more meds to help control anger before he hurts you. Please be safe!

Davegrant

"Lynne" I too have to apologize that when I read your post, I broke out in a laugh, I couldn't help it. I am a sneezer myself and can imagine my many past sneezes and that response. Then, I read Neverends and felt bad about that situation, I pray that I could handle that as well as you. I know that I would take a serious look at placement of some kind. I appreciate these readings as it helps prepare for situations that may occur as it seems like I am better able to stay calm if I can be prepared. I can only hope.

Thank you all for this sharing.

Dave

Ed1937

Lynne, I'm sorry that happened, and I understand how you felt. There have been times when I felt like knocking the hell out of my wife. Like when she gets in my face, and says "Hit me". But after a while, she forgets about it, and ll is well again. These episodes don't last long, and I'm grateful for that.

Gig Harbor

Lynne I truly don’t know how you do it. When I read what he said I wanted to cry for you.

storycrafter

(((Lynne!))) you are exactly right, it's not your fault.  Ah, what a particularly difficult attitude to live in the presence of, especially wearing over time. I too, am very familiar with this type of experience. Sending wishes for strength and capacity to let it roll off your back without leaving a scar.

White Crane

Lynne, sending hugs.  If someone had responded to me like that for a sneeze, I would have had to leave the house for a few minutes to regroup.  You are a strong woman and are doing a great job caring for your LO.  And, of course, it was not your fault.