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Different losses

toolbeltexpert
toolbeltexpert Member Posts: 1,583
Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner
The last few days have been crazy with different losses. For the last 2 days dw asked if we were married? What was the date?  Is there a paper that shows that?  She mentioned she had seen that paper but wasn't sure if we were married. Today she's got an eye evaluation for for a possible  cataract  surgery.  She loves to doodle she is a great free hand artist, she used to make signs in retail settings. This morning she doodles a hand with a watch on it set at 5 o'clock. I guess she passed that test.  The marriage thing kept me up the first night wondering because that is such an old memory for us. 44 years ago. Makes me wonder what's next, I know I am on that list of what's next, just didn't see it coming. She has a poem in her pocket book. Someone cut it out of a newspaper and gave it to her when dw mother died. Dw was 12. I will attach it later i am on my cell and it doesn't show the attachment button????

Comments

  • Ed1937
    Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,084
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    I'm sorry there are new losses. Is it possible that she has a UTI? That could cause it.

    What a great poem!

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    Beautiful poem. Very interesting how it’s appropriate for a sudden loss (I’ve been there too; my heart goes out to your DW losing her mom at such a young age) but this poem is also speaking   to what we caregivers go through every day with the ambiguous grief of someone who is slipping away daily, yet “still here”. I’m sorry for your losses and wish you a little less pain today. 

    We know how those surprise revaluations feel. DH has no idea who I am to him really. Sometimes he says “wife”, but also refers to me as his cousin, daughter and even son — flip- flopping all day everyday. It broke my heart the first several weeks of that. Then, after a couple of rough patches with aggression during UTIs I honestly am just grateful now that he likes whomever he thinks I am at any given time. Half the time now he thinks I’m a stranger and asks how long I’ve been or will be here. Dementia is a heartbreaking thief. You hang in there.

  • Joydean
    Joydean Member Posts: 1,497
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    That is a very beautiful poem. I’m sorry for the losses you are facing, and truly each and every one of us on a daily basis! 

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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