Best laid plans(1)

Buggsroo

My usually sunny husband told me in no uncertain terms that he was not taking a shower and not going to the day program that he was to start today. I tried to explain to him he needed to shower because he stunk to high heaven. He flatly refused.

Had to phone the day care and explain that he was not coming. He told me he was going to bed, so I decided I would take a nap as well. I awoke to the house smelling like sh--. I made him his lunch and told him he was taking a shower. This time he was cooperative. Good thing because he had pooed his pants. Tomorrow a psw will be coming, I wonder how well that will go, sigh. You just never know how things will go until they go.

Ed1937

You got that right. You just never know. Sorry you had the problem this morning.

Joydean

You are so very right! And some days if we knew we might just run for the hills. 

Sorry you had such a hard day. But hey now he doesn’t stink! Good luck tomorrow! 

toolbeltexpert

One day at a time, your title is a perfect description of the plans we make for pwd. We're always making plans and cannot see the unseen things that trigger plan b if we can think quick enough. My dw was diagnosed with a cataract in one eye a year ago,she started complaining about it a year to the date, so I scheduled it for yesterday. All the testing went good till it was time for the interview with the doctor. I had called in to make sure they were aware of her memory problems. Every question he asked she would defer to me. I could tell he was wanting her to complain about her vision and that wasn't happening. I cued him I needed to talk with him. We went outside the room. And indeed he was wanting "her" to say she needed her eye fixed. He was telling her that if she didn't think she needed it if it wasn't a problem. I explained her anxiety about it, and I thought it was a quality of life thing,but I would go with his recommendation.  Finally surgery is scheduled for the end of the month.  I thought it was all gonna fall thru. I hope things go well tomorrow. We only go by this way one time and do the best we can.

M1

So sorry Bugsroo, I can imagine you had your heart set on that day program.  Lack of cooperation is a big issue here too, although I think you have it harder because at least my partner doesn't yell at me (for the most part).  Good luck with the social worker tomorrow (PSW-psychiatric social worker I'm assuming?).  I know you need the help.

JoseyWales

I'm so sorry that the day didn't go as planned, and you didn't get a break. And poo!!

I guess be glad he finally took a shower? It's amazing how we look for the small positives in all of this.

NylaBlue

Buggsroo, I’m so sorry it didn’t work out, but I encourage you to keep trying. The day care folks understand it takes time for some PWDs to get used to day care. Often when I pickup my husband he will say he is never going back but I still get him to attend three times a week. I find it best not talk about it in advance, but your mileage may vary.

Toolbeltexpert, good for you, getting the ophthalmologist to “see the light” . Often when I read the physician’s notes from a visit with my DH, I am irked to see a comment like “spouse does most of the talking”. Yes, I do most of the talking and I send emails on the health portal prior to visits. Once in the office, my husband always denies he has any issues and doesn’t understand the point of the visit, even when he’s been complaining about said issues to me.