It was a light at the end of that tunnel

JoseyWales

The memory care called Monday afternoon and said he could move in the next day. So yesterday afternoon DH moved to his new home.

It was a blur of moving stuff in, filling out paperwork with admissions, talking with the nurse, talking with therapy, talking with a few other people - I don't even remember their positions or who they were - then trying to follow through on a previously scheduled video appointment with his neurologist because I didn't want to have to reschedule it. Turns out technology was my only issue and the appointment didn't happen after 25 minutes waiting on my phone. Ugh to that one. I'll reschedule.

He was started to get pretty upset before I left. He wanted to go home. He started crying and his pacing picked up. I ended up leaving shortly after helping get his medication in him. He looked like he was starting to calm a bit, so I snuck out. According to my call today, he paced most of the night, was scared and angry at the nurse at one point, and it sounds like all in all it was not a good night for him and he was up pretty much all night. But he didn't try to hurt anyone (which I didn't expect from him, but alone and scared who knows) and they said he ate breakfast with everyone and was spending his morning walking around to different people. 

I haven't called this evening to see how the rest of the day went, and I don't think I will. I didn't visit today, but I'll go tomorrow to take more of his clothing and other comfort items. With only 1 day to pack, there was a lot I didn't take. I'm hoping he gets some sleep tonight. 

As for me, I didn't expect to sleep easily last night. But I did. I worked today, which was good at keeping my mind off all this. I have so many conflicting emotions, I don't even know where to begin processing all this. So I'm just keeping busy.

toolbeltexpert

Joseywales that has to be very tiring both physically and mental I know that's a good move for your lo.  I am glad everything went so smoothly.

Quilting brings calm

Josey, that’s wonderful.  Don’t worry about all the names at this point. You will learn them over time.  You were overwhelmed with the sudden change in your circumstances after the last few months.   I’m sure your husband was too and will adjust with time.  There will be a few bumps, but you will be well rested and  much more able to deal with them than you have been.  

Take your time trying to get your evenings and weekends somehow normalized.  Sleep as much as you need.  Just try to get  one thing done every day.  

Lills

That's truly wonderful news!  I wish your DH a quick adjustment to MC!  You surely deserve a gold medal in caregiving and patience.

Joydean

Josey that is great news! After all the crap you have been going through just trying to get help and then a call and move in the next day! Please take some time and get some much needed sleep. You can always take more of his things to the MC. 

I’m happy for you and and your husband. He will adjust and will get to be with others that he can do things with. God bless you lady! 

JJ401

Sometimes the universe provides just what you need. I am so glad for you (and your DH). 

Marie58

Wow, what a whirlwind. I'm glad he got in and I pray he adjusts quickly. You will need time to adjust also. I know it's hard, but I'm glad it worked out.

M1

Josey, So relieved and happy for you. Rest up, you have more than earned it. Keep us posted as you can.

Buggsroo

Josey,

I am glad you got your husband placed, however it was done at lightening speed. I imagine once you have caught up on your sleep, you will feel better. Your job also will help you as well. Hopefully when the dust settles, you can visit with him and his meds will keep him calm.

My mom had a very turbulent marriage as my dad was an alcoholic and was given to rages. However, when he entered care, my mom said she had the best six years of her 52 year marriage. My dad was medicated and had no access to alcohol so he was witty and quite charming. I wish the same for you. 

abc123

Dear Josey, I am very happy for you both! He will be safe and there is a good chance he will make friends with a couple of the other men. I'm so thankful to hear this news. Please keep us posted on how each of you are doing. I hope you will also adjust quickly to the changes and you will be able to sleep whenever you want to and enjoy all the little things you've been missing. We are all pulling for you!

French

Josey, i feel relieved to have good news from you. I was worrying about you.

I am glad you had this solution. I know that you will still be on the deck, but you will have peaceful nights and be able to work without worrying about what can happen in your home. 

Jeff86

Your persistence and patience have at long last been rewarded!  Much to process, as you say, but you must feel relief at having gotten your DH placed.  Hoping he makes a good adjustment, and you do as well.

Ed1937

What a great first post for me to read in the morning! I'm thrilled for you!! Hopefully he will adjust quickly, and you can become a wife again. He was soooo lucky to have you in his corner, as hard as it was for you. Happy Thursday.

Battlebuddy

   So great to hear! I don’t know how you folks have been able to do caregiving and a full time job. My heart goes out to you for the juggling act you have been doing all this time. 

  I hope that this can be a time of ratcheting down some of the stress. Also I hope you get a vacation that you can use to relax . 

   So happy for you 

David J

Outlaw Josey Wales- I’ve been worried about you and am so glad you got your husband placed. You handled this like Clint Eastwood!  Tenacity, toughness and love! I know the sudden change in your day to day responsibilities will leave a hole, as weird as that seems. We wish that we had someone to take care of our LOs and more time for ourselves. When that day comes, its a shock how much time and personal space we have. Be happy your husband is getting the care he needs, it’s the right thing to do.

Beachfan

Wow, Josie! What an unexpected development, but wonderful for both of you.    I hope he is able to adjust eventually, if not quickly.  (My DH had a few bumps in the road until he finally settled in.)  You need to concentrate on reclaiming yourself which might take some time.  One day at a time; keep us posted.  Best of luck.