Mother makes too much for Medicaid

sable86

Good afternoon all. 

My mother's Dementia is getting worse. My sister is currently staying with her but must leave in 2 weeks. I am afraid that my mother is no longer capable to take of herself as the hallucinations and conspiracy theories are increasing. I reached out to Medicaid to try and get her on it but was told "she makes too" much from her SS and 401k. 

I have reached out to a couple of Elder law lawyers but they want $350 to $660 just for a consultation??? Then they are saying, "If you are looking for advise on a Miller trust, just remember that those cost between $3000 and $8000 to set up, which of course we do not have.

Are there any recommendations that could possibly help me get the help my mother is desperately needing? I am afraid to have her stay alone in Florida (I'm in North Carolina and she is refusing to come up with me).

Any help would be most appreciated! Thank You!

woolythyme

I am in the same boat as you with my Mother.  Although she has little, she has too much for Medicaid.  So, I have decided to get her in-home care with what funds she has.  My dad is still in-home with her in Indiana, so that solution will work for now.  I expect to spend down her money until she qualifies for Medicaid...no fancy trusts, no promissory notes, no Medicaid waiver...just keep it simple and pay for her care until Medicaid will.

Blessings from Colorado

ButterflyWings

Hi Sable -

I'm sorry for the stress you are facing, and your mom's decline. We understand it well and you are surrounded by knowledgable, caring folks here. Sharing the same leaky boat, after all.

I don't know if this will work for you, but I'd try to buy some time so you aren't panicked about this 2 week deadline. It sounds like fiblet time, big time. Can you make it all about you right now? That would likely go over WAY better, if she is like my DH and most PWDs anyway. Meaning no more trying to get her to cooperate with reason, or face that she is impaired. She may have anosognosia, and its not denial. Her diseased brain really can't comprehend that anything is wrong. 

So, to retain trust but prioritize her safety, say...You need her to come for a visit, and/or to help you for a short trip (just to get her there). If this is really something you'd want to take on for the long haul. It is always good to move them closer to your home and life, vs the other way around. Even if you find a great AL or MC once in your town. 

Just don't try to argue, convince, cajole or debate -- this will have to be a stealth move whatever changes you make. She can't help anymore. It is doable though. We are here with you and have lots of other examples of how caregiver families worked things out. Keep breathing!

sable86

woolythyme, that is actually something I was thinking of. Although, she looks at her bank account EVERYDAY and complains that someone is stealing from her (when a bill is paid from her account) because she says never authorized it. I'm sure she'd freak but I really need to get her to a place that she can qualify and get her in a safer environment.

Thank you for the reply!

sable86

ButterflyWings, thank you for the suggestion. That might be a bad approach. I will discuss it with my wife and see where this goes.

King Boo

Lots of lawyers advertise Elder Law, some of whom do not have the expertise.

A Certified Elder Law Attorney(CELA) www.nelf.org is well worth their hourly cost.  They prevent you from making mis steps with finances that can cost you years of care.

Anyone, even with assets, faces the possible need for Medicaid in the future.  Having a step by step plan to do things right is worth what a CELA costs.

sable86

King Boo, thank you for the website...

King Boo

Sure!   Hopefully there are a few near you - interview them well.

They can help you structure the money she has to serve her best - and possibly help you squirrel some away for the extras she may need that Medicaid doesn't cover.

If there are no CELA's in your area, find an attorney who advertises elder law and who actually has at least half of their practice doing it - not the once in a while occasional client. Good luck.