I'm confused(1)

RNS

My DH is 88 and I thought was progressing fairly rapidly into stage 6.  The last 10 days I have seen an improvement.  His appetite has increased, he's able/willing to communicate a little, wants to ride along with me when I run errands, and even showered without an objection.  These are the positive things.  The negative changes are his short term memory is almost nonexistent-less than 1 minute.  He has no concept of time.  I gave him the NCAA basketball bracket to fill out and he just looked at it and laid it down.  He always loved filling out brackets.  He hasn't filled them out in 2 years but I thought he might be able to since he seemed brighter.  That was foolish on my part.  

My confusion is that I'm surprised some things have improved and some have gotten worse.  Have others experienced this?  

On a positive note, I have a part-time caregiver that will begin this week.  I will only be getting 4-8 hrs for now but I'm excited.  I can't decide what I want to do because I have so many things I have given up. 

This site has been invaluable to me and I read it every day even though I don't post a lot.  My DH is quite manageable and I feel guilty because so many have it much worse than me.  I am quite tethered and lonely but it could be so much worse.  

Thanks for listening. 

sandwichone123

The unpredictability of our loved ones' behavior is one of the things that makes it so stressful to care for them. As soon as we're resigned to a decline they rally, and as soon as we celebrate the return of abilities they're gone.

toolbeltexpert

Rns you're not alone. I see changes going down and then there is a glimmer. It's hard to understand  Hang in there.

Joydean

Sandwichone is so very right. Sunday, my DH let me shave him without complaining, he then took a shower without me having to nag him. While he was showering I laid his clothes out as I always do. I then helped him get dressed, (he has trouble getting his clothes on/off). For the first time in over two years he looked in the mirror and said “I look like David!”  I could only stand there in complete shock. I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or laugh. I did a little of both. He did look like his self, his eyes were even clear, not that far away look. I just wanted to grab that moment and hold it tight. It was a moment I really thought I would never have again. 

Sadly the good time never last, but it was a good time if only for a fleeting moment. This disease is a very cruel beast. 

RNS 

I hope your good days last for a while. Enjoy the time having conversations with your love one. 

Davegrant

My DW is 85 and her ups and downs are frustrating to me. These ups and downs have been observable since the beginning in 2016. For several years I was thinking that it was me and she may not really have any problem It has been difficult because I try to let her do what she can but never know what that is. I do all of the household tasks as well as the executive functions.  And I do move up and down emotionally with these changes. I saw somewhere that these behaviors ebb and flow like the tide. It seems that includes many different behaviors. Some like suspicion, repetition, and memory, are more consistently declining behaviors. When I see some improvement, it is often following by a period of general cognitive decline.   

So, all of this is to say that I share your experiences. And I also have a caregiver that comes in four hours a week. DW usually convinces the caregiver that she is desperate for my return. But I sneak off to a support group meeting or to the McDonald's parking lot and have a coke and hamburger to enjoy the alone time or go to the public library and read some of the books on Dementia. My DW has anosognosia, so she has never had a hint that she may have some problem or any discussion of why I would need time alone is not addressed.  

I do know that things could be a lot worse as a caregiver. But this challenge never leaves my mind. 

Scooterr

RNS, I'm glad you posted this subject, because there's days I'm confused. I see improvement with my DW on some days and other days we start all over again. STAY STRONG.

NylaBlue

At times my husband’s perception of the world around him will seem sharper, but I’ve concluded this is wishful thinking on my part. Last night he briefly remembered where/when we met and made a few related comments on a movie we were watching, but shortly thereafter he asked me when his wife would be home and if I was going back to my place soon. The through line is his continued deterioration at the hands of this fatal disease. Any perceived improvement is an anomaly.

Gig Harbor

The other day my husband got up and put on jockey shorts, long underwear, jeans, long underwear and jockey shorts. When I had him look in a mirror he honestly couldn’t see that he was not dressed properly. It took some convincing to take off the extra shorts and long underwear. I can’t imagine if I hadn’t seen him and if he had answered the door looking like that. The next day he dressed perfectly himself.

Arrowhead

During the past year and a half, my wife's communication skills have diminished greatly. However, her acceptance of me has her husband has increased. Instead of often denying our marriage she now accepts sit most of the time. Symptoms constantly change