Let Her Sleep!

abc123

It's always something at my house! Now it's the night time sitter and Dad. The hospice nurse has told us to let mom sleep when ever she wants to. Fed her when she's hungry and change her diaper when needed, otherwise let her sleep. 

Night before last the sitter arrives and is upset that mom is sleeping because she thinks she should eat. My dad has bonded with this sitter, she has been with us since mom arrived over 7 weeks ago. The next thing I know, dad is in moms face asking "Do you know who I am?' "What's my name?" The sitter is rubbing mom's arm and talking to her to wake her up. They woke her up! Five minutes later, she's sleeping again. I went off on both of them. The hospice nurse came back yesterday to talk to dad but he wasn't here. She wrote instructions for dad and the sitter. Do NOT wake her up. Do NOT wake her up to feed her. She will wake up when she is hungry or thirsty. Do NOT stroke her when she is sleeping. Let her sleep. Other than changing her diaper, leave her be. I went over the note with dad and the sitter. This sitter is opposed to pain meds. I have gotten into a snit with her twice over pain meds. I am at my wits end! The hospice nurse has had these same issues with this sitter with another patient. I just had to get this off my chest! Why can't there be 5 minutes of peace! darn*!

SusanB-dil

AACKK!  

Was hoping things were going more smoothly. Sounds like for the most part, as ok as can be expected - until it isn't.  ((hugs))

M1

Abc sounds like you have every right to be upset, I would be, too.  I'd think about reporting her if it's not shooting yourself in the foot.  Crazy.

Quilting brings calm

Abc- is this the same night sitter that talked your ear off when she first started?   Since you refer to her as a sitter, my presumption is that she is not a nurse.   Sounds like she can’t stand to be alone with a sleeping person.   I know it’s hard to get help right now, so I am not  sure what you can do beyond what you have done. I don’t know if you can politely communicate with her boss without her asking to be reassigned to a different patient. 

I’m sorry that the person that is supposed to be helping you is causing you problems. 

ST_niece

I’ve experienced this! My LO was in the hospital recently, and nurses wanted to give her breakfast at 6am. I asked them over and over to wait until I arrived at 10am, so she could sleep in. One nurse didn’t want to give my LO her morning pills until she’d eaten. The pills were meant to be taken before eating!

I had to get the doctor to give orders to let my LO sleep in. Eventually, I won the nurses over. They saw that my LO was able to do her physio better after sleeping longer.

I suggest talking to the sitter’s supervisor. Maybe ask for a different sitter, and mention that pain pills are required, and sleep shouldn’t be interrupted. 

abc123

Update. I had a serious discussion with the night time lady and something I said stuck with her. Things are going much more smoothly. Thank Heavens!!!!

Sherri Neal

At what point in the disease does this sleeping all the time occur? My mom is going to bed (still at home with my stepdad) around 11pm every night. He starts trying to wake her at 10am. He goes in every 30 minutes and tries to get her awake - this makes him angry, because she won't get up - sometimes it's 2 or 3 in the afternoon. The Alzheimer's Association Care Consultant told me it was most likely the progression of the disease and to let her sleep. How do you know? Could it be depression?

mommyandme (m&m)

Sherri, Just a friendly suggestion… If you start a new thread with your question you may get more responses. This is on the tail end of a thread started over a year ago. Welcome to the forum btw.

Is this a sudden change? Sometimes an infection can cause sudden decline, like a “silent UTI”. May be time to call the doc to run some tests. It could be progression, if so you might want to get a hospice evaluation just for added support if they admit her. Not saying that means death is imminent. My mom was on for almost two years and some others report much longer than the 6 mos which is average expectation with terminal illness. Dementia isn’t your average terminal illness though. Could be depression, again doc may be able to address that too. Has your step dad checked her oxygen level/blood pressure when she’s difficult to rouse? An inexpensive pulse oximeter and BP cuff may be helpful there. If he’s worried about her getting her night and days mixed up…maybe an earlier bedtime could help, possibly with some melatonin. His frustration definitely will not help either of them.

Sorry for this situation for all of you.

terei

If someone is sleeping more than 18 hours a day + infection has been ruled out, I would get an evaluation from Hospice. Husband should let her sleep. It is part of the end of life progression.

When my mom started sleeping a lot I had to demand the facility let her sleep + not try to rouse her. She would be awakened + then fall asleep right into her food plate.

I aids were insisting she had to eat while my mom had told me in no uncertain terms if she could not feed herself, she was completely against being hand fed. I kept my promise to her, even when they accused me of ‘starving her to death’.