Trouble with bathing

Jack Z.

Every time I try to get my DW to take a bath she gets very defensive and starts to cry.  I try to calmly explain the need for bathing and show her how I have everything prepared ahead of time.  She spends most of the time sitting on the toilet next to the tub.  Finally, I have to come in and have her step into the tub myself.  She will burst into tears. I know to her this seems like an invasion of privacy but I manage to keep calm and eventually she will sit down in the water to bathe.

I have given her the option to bathe or shower with bathing being her preference.  She was diagnosed with EO AD towards the end of last year with a steady drop in functioning.

Does anyone have any ideas on how this can be a less painful experience for the both of us?

ButterflyWings

Well Jack, 

I am pulling some links and resources for you as there is some EXCELLENT advice and many success stories from forum mates. Full disclosure: this is not my strong suit. In fact, I gave up. Yes, my DH won this one hands down. Bathing and showering are off the table here. Period. Yesiree. When you have a few minutes for a good laugh (and cry) one day, I may review my other posts on that as well as the shower fails I didn't post. 

I have learned some great work-arounds to keep him quite clean, fresh, and hygenic (is that a word?). Truthfully he is cleaner than I some days (TMI, but the absolute truth) despite relying 100% on... 

• adult disposable washcloths (do not flush them no matter what the package says), 
• no-rinse shampoo/body bath, 
• and cleaning the hotspots EVERY time after toileting 
• plus changing his tabbed incontinence brief every time I can catch him with pants down, leaving the pull-up on as an extra layer to keep everything together. Timing is everything
• Not easy, but easier than the fiasco we were dealing with in trying to get him to go the traditional shower route (which he LOVED! pre-AD).

Best of luck to you. Try not to sweat the small stuff. Most of our LOs don't really need a daily bath or shower anyway. You will find something that works for you two. I'm sorry she is sad and that you are having this struggle that for some reason seems mandatory for our PWD LOs. Go figure.

Here are 3 links to start: (1. Forum mates great suggestions when I was where you are; 2. Alz connected tips from the "solutions" tab at top of this page; and 3. a Teepa Snow article with video on the topic). Hang in there.

https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?tid=2147560292&g=posts&t=2147556932

https://tinyurl.com/alzbathing

11 Tips for Bathing a Person Living with Dementia - Positive Approach to Care

Joe C.

Jack, Difficulty with bathing is a very common issues for people with AD. My DW was always cold so some tricks I used was turning up the heat and warming towels & clothes in the dryer so they would be warm when DW got out of the shower. Others had some success with putting on music when it was time to bath. I also had to cover the bathroom mirrors because DW did not want the people in the mirror to see her undressed.

Ed1937

Jack, we had the same problem. One of our daughters went shopping for me, and bought new  colorful towels and washcloths. We set up Alexa for her kind of music, and had everything very warm for her. There was even aroma therapy. That went well, but didn't last too long. 

If she gets cold, I'd suggest that you raise the temperature of the whole house, not only the bathroom. If you only get the bathroom heated, she might be very cold when he walks into another room, and might resist bathing even more.

Do whatever you can to try to make her feel pampered. Best of luck to you.

jfkoc

I posted a thread "a good read" that has some good bathing tips...might help.

Jack Z.

Thank you all for your tips and links!  I appreciate it very much.  I try to get her in the bath tub a couple times a week (No odor between bathing.)

I try to have everything laid out in the bathroom nicely for her.  I guess that the key is trying to stay calm but keeping her on task.  Boy, she's distracted easily (probably nothing you guys have had to contend with - j/k.)