Forgetting/Confusion with People & Places - Is this the beginning?

Inden Mom

My DH (age 61) was diagnosed early onset to moderate AZ's last couple months. There has been confusion of places and time/distance since his diagnose. But this morning it was the very first time he was confused of who was in bed sleeping next to him. He woke up early morning and found my son in kitchen making coffee. He told my son there is a lady in the bed and he doesnt know who she is (it was me and our grand daughter).. My son assured him it was us.

I'm not sure how to feel about this... sad.. scared..worried? Is this the beginning phase of when one starts forgetting faces/people? I really don't know how to put this all together. Totally new to this and this forum has been a tremendous support for me.

Happy Blessed Sunday to All!

Gig Harbor

For about 9 months my husband has had days where he is not sure of who I am. He doesn’t recognize our granddaughter and grandson but does still recognize our daughter but not always by name. Some days he is pretty good but others are terrible. When he makes a downward change it doesn’t stay there. That’s what makes this disease so hard to wrap your head around.

jmlarue

In the case of my DH, he still recognizes people as connected to him - somehow. He can't name them. He can't say what the connection is. But, somehow, on an instinctual level, he still knows that they belong in his sphere. I am grateful he is not waking up to a stranger in his bed or finding his house being filled with strangers having a meal at his table. This is where the fear and aggression will come into play (at least, for my DH) because the whole notion of "stranger" equals potential danger in his mind. Has your DH been through the stage where he was unable to name people and this transition into not recognizing someone is a sign of progression?

Vitruvius

For well over a year now my DW of nearly 50 years does not recognize me has her loving husband. I still care for her at home. Fortunately she thinks of me as someone she is comfortable with. Or rather I should say she thinks of me as several different people who she is comfortable with. My identity can change several times a day and she often expresses frustration about the disappearance of the previous version of me that she thinks has left her.

The first time that I became aware that she didn't recognize me was a Sunday. I called my work place first thing Monday morning and resigned. I realized she had progressed much more than I had recognized and I needed to provide much more care than I had to that point. The decline in the earlier stages was deceptive to me, I hadn't realized how compromised she had become until that day. 

She also began to have trouble recognizing close relatives including our daughter and grandchildren. Now she routinely mixes up the names and bios of our family. 

ButterflyWings

Vitruvius wrote:

 ... Or rather I should say she thinks of me as several different people who she is comfortable with. My identity can change several times a day and she often expresses frustration about the disappearance of the previous version of me that she thinks has left her.

Same here, Vitruvius. For the longest, DH has assigned me various roles, relationships and even genders (!), on a rotating basis throughout the day. All day, every day. It hardly phases me any more honestly. Except every so often it does take my breath away -- not in a good way -- when I least expect it. 

Inden Mom - I'm so sorry you are at this point on the rocky road called Dementia caregiving. So full of potholes and hairpin turns, and of course it is a dead end. Not trying to be crude with that description but the fact that there is no cure and not really any treatment makes me sad and also mad. With the number of people living and dying with dementias, we somehow (worldwide) all are going to have to do better by 'patients' and families. 

Back to your question though, I remember the first time my DH did not know who I was and I was beyond devastated. It hurt so much, I can remember it now like it was yesterday. And actually, I realized much later that he probably had been in unsure many times that I just wasn't aware of. Well, he gave me lots of practice with that since the first obvious lack of recognition, so I got used to it pretty quickly . I came to really appreciate that he is comfortable with all but 1 of the people he's thought I was. So I have been grateful that he may not always know who I am, but at least he likes (or sometimes tolerates) the many versions he assigns to me! There was one time he threatened to throw me out in the middle of the night That was heartbreaking in a whole different way. Super scary. But then woke up at sunrise, happy to see his wife (me, Yay!) and didn't even remember the brouhaha. Go figure. 

Not sure if you are asking this, but it has been a couple of years at least since he first didn't know me. Yet he still has periods now, every day, when he absolutely knows who I am and that I'm his wife etc. Try to take deep breaths for now, and just go with the flow. It is tough, but this is AD at my house anyway.

Inden Mom

He still recognizes names of immediate family.. It was just this morning that he first ever commented of a lady in our bed that he does not know of (which was me).

So so true - this disease can throw you different curve balls.

Inden Mom

Thank you all for sharing your similar experiences and feedback. I wish us all more patience and strength as we face our different yet so similar challenges ahead of us with our loved ones.

Ed1937

Welcome to the forum. You found a good place to get and share information, and people here "get it" when you need help.

Inden Mom. This is a longshot, but might be worth pursuing. A UTI could cause confusion like that. If you have him checked for that, ask for a culture with it. The culture will give them the best information on which antibiotic to use for that certain strain, in there is one. Once the UTI is cleared up, the confusion could be a thing of the past. A UTI caused all kinds of trouble and confusion for my wife, but that's history now. Best of luck to you.

Joydean

Hi , Inden Mom, and welcome. I don’t have anything to contribute on this subject. Just wanted to welcome you.

Rescue mom

Hi Inden Mom, so sorry you have to deal with this, especially so young. I can add my experiences to others, mostly alike and still different (like so much else with this disease). My mom was in memory care for years, her body was incredibly healthy long after her mind was gone. 

For years there were days when she did recognize me, did not recognize me, thought I was her long-sister, even her own mother. Any and all of that could happen in a 24-hour period. One day she’d know me, the next day she did not, the next day she did. There was just no telling.

Now my DH has Alzheimer’s. He still knows me, but often not my name. He does not know his grandkids at all, seems to recognize our kids on sight, but no names, nor say how many. In general he best remembers people he’s known the longest, but I’m regularly surprised at who he does or does not remember, regardless of that. And that can also change day to day. It is sad, and worrisome, and as said, hard to deal with.

Another memory thing I’m told is sort of unusual, is that DH  very early lost all sense of direction, place, or knowing where he was (other than home), or recognizing nearby familiar places. That was the first really noticeable thing to go. Most of the rest kind of faded away gradually.