Time for us before it is too late

Mama Cass

I am trying to figure out how to take an extended leave so I can help my husband experience the retirement we had planned together. It is so difficult to go to work every day and not give him my undivided attention.

We planned and saved very well for our retirement, but I am 10 years younger than him and we were splitting the difference with the idea I would retire at 60.  Well that is 8 years away and I am not sure he has that kind of time.

My DH has EO.  He is mostly still with us, but I can see the progression of this terrible disease and I don't want to miss the opportunity. Work only allows for two months personal leave and FMLA only guarantees 3 months (and would require medical necessity) and in both cases there is a chance I won't have a job to come back to.  I have worked for the company for 27 years and my DH worked for them for almost 34.

Does anyone out there have any idea or success stories in making something like this work without going totally bankrupt?

aod326

It's a tough situation to be in. I was 56 when DH started to need a lot more care. Apart from any other reason, I knew I needed to keep working for financial reasons. (If you don't already know, you will come to find out that care, at home or residential is extremely expensive. If you have Long-Term Care Insurance you will have some coverage - regular insurance will not cover the care he'll need, nor will Medicare.)

I don't know if it works the same in every state, but in NJ at least, you don't need to take FMLA in one chunk - you could take a week here or there. Bear in mind, though, that you may need to keep that for when he progresses. (In NJ, you can only take it once every 18 months). Could you reduce your hours, maybe work 4 days a week instead of 5? That way you could at least have a long weekend every week, without too much financial impact.

Also, if finances allow, perhaps your company would grant you a six-month leave of absence? You've been there a really long time - it's worth asking. 

It's a lovely idea to spend time with him while you can but whatever you do don't bankrupt yourself. You will probably be around for many years, and neither you nor your DH want you to be in the poor house.

Good luck.

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