Feeding my mom, in ICU, late stages

Rideswings

My mom has late stages Lewy body. She is currently in the ICU. She has been staying in a nursing home under hospice care. Our hospice provider recommended she get admitted because she had not eaten or drank for 4 or 5 days while at the nursing home. She got admitted to ER 3 days ago with dehydration, UTI, 175 heart rate and very low BP. The ICU is trying to stabilize her but not giving us much hope. They wont feed her for fear of choking. They also wont do a swallow test due to her BP being too low.

They have her on IV but only for hydration and some sugar. 

They wont let her eat or drink anything.

Is there any way I can try to feed her? If not, Im afraid shes not going to recover. they wont do a feeding tube due to her BP being too low.

What would you do?

Arrowhead

I have given this a lot of thought for years because I know that I will be in that position eventually. If there was even a chance of her recovering, I would want to try something. However, no matter what you do, there is no surviving this condition. She has no quality of life; she is merely existing. As sad as it will be to you, it sounds like it's time to let her go. I'm sorry, and I'll be sorry when the time comes for me to make that same decision. Be at peace.

Rideswings

Guess Im going to answer my own question. Im going to see if she improves with the antibiotics. She deserves that chance, and she has bounced back before.

mommyandme (m&m)

I’m surprised that hospice recommended interventions instead of just comfort care.  I do hope she’s comfortable while being treated.  

What would a I do? I’d make mom as comfortable as possible and let her pass on.  Maybe not what helps you feel at ease, but my mom being at ease is what I’m here for.  

Mom's Baby

Rideswings, ask yourself, "Am I doing this for my mom or for myself?" 

I understand not wanting to lose your mom. But keeping her around in her current state... is that really what she would want? 

Marta

Does your Mom have an advance directive that addresses end of life issues, or has she ever had a conversation with you or another family member about these issues?

zauberflote

Rideswings, I'm so sorry you are in this position. When I got Mom on hospice, it was because I'd asked the DON how we could never send her to the ER again. She suggested hospice, which actually delighted me, as I'd had a very good experience with MIL. 

When Mom came to her last days, no-one (including hospice) expected her to die. Mom had a respiratory infection with a horrible cough. She couldn't take antibiotics because we were afraid she'd choke on them. She was too weak to get out of bed, and wasn't interested in food or drink. She died just a few days later. 

There is a wonderful little book by Hank Dunn called "Hard Choices for Loving People", which talks extremely compassionately and plainly about end-of-life issues. It's also available as a free PDF, which you can find by searching online. I very very highly recommend it.