UTI driving me crazy

ChrisVoorhis

This is the 2 nd UTI in a year. My wife had me leave 3 days ago cause she didnt know who i was. One day later she wanted to know why i was gone. Married 50 years this Feb. my daughter was here so it was ok but first time we’ve ever been apart. Even now a week later she isnt always sure about me. We have been dealing wit her Alzheimers for 11 years now. To days ago i caught a cold, havent been sick in 15 years. She can no longer do anything and this was a rude awakening for me. I have over the last 5 years paid her friends to clean/caretake for 5 hrs/day so she could be as happy as possible. I am retired but even with these friends she doesn’t want me to go anywhere. So every am/pm she wants to go home but this is where we have lived fot 25 yrs. I also hired a part time caregiver because I need to have someone else to help her but she gets upset when she comes to help. I dont want to put her in a home but i am now hurting myself from the stress. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Chris

toolbeltexpert

Chris I feel for you, you have been thru so much! It sounds like you need to get the help you need cause if you don't who will take care of your dw. Chris everything you've done has been for her, each step you have to take is always for her protection and comfort, but you have to take care of you. I will be praying for the help you need.

Ed1937

Chris, you have been on this road for a long time. Do you think the UTI is causing some of her problems? My wife was having UTIs to the tune of 3 to 5 a year, and it caused problems like you described. Finally I put her on TheraCran One, available online from Amazon and other sites. She went for just about a year before she got another one. She is double incontinent, and that can cause UTIs, so I bought a bidet, and she has not had a UTI for about 4 months now. So I attribute the success to both the TheraCran One and the bidet. I hope you can get a handle on the UTIs. I'm sorry it's so hard.

markus8174

Chris,

You are exactly where I was when I made the decision to place my DW into long term care. I finally had to admit she was sicker under my care than she would be in a long-term care facility. A lot of the time she didn't accept she was "at home" in the house we have owned for 30+ years anyway. Her last UTI (from dual incontinence) deteriorated into urosepsis with an added bonus of pneumonia. That made things easier for me. Sick >hospital >some better > nursing home.  I gave the hospital staff a list of acceptable facilities with dementia specific floors the hour she was admitted. If you haven't found a facility that you would like to use, you are far behind in your research. It took me 18 months to decide on 2 or 3 within 50 miles of our house that I could accept. It isn't better for me. Care facilities are much worse than I ever imagined; even ones with great reputations. Still, I must admit they are providing care that is superior to what she'd let me provide at home. My heart breaks every day when she isn't here. Then again, it broke every day when she was here since she wasn't really herself for over a year.

jfkoc

A culture needs to be done after a test for UTI to determine if the correct drug is given. All too often this is not done.

markus8174

Another thing I was dumbfounded by is the definition of what constitutes a UTI is different in a long-term care facility than it is for a primary care doctor or in acute care. My beloved's last UA showed what would have been classified as a dangerous UTI with what is likely a resistant organism, and a 2nd bug with the biggest total count. Because she isn't showing signs of sepsis, they aren't allowed to run a sensitivity or start antibiotic therapy. Like I've said before, long term care is often just waiting for the resident to die, and the sooner they get on with it the happier the place will be.