Constant Calling

DahliaFlower

(I am new to this site, however, I have done a few alz webinars.)

My Mom has 24/7 care at home with 3 different caregivers during the weeks.  She is always calling my sister that lives 20 miles away and many times it is non-stop calling until my sister picks up the phone. (I live 5 hours away.)  Usually she really doesn't have anything to say.  The caregiver says she is anxious.  My sister and her husband run their own business, so she doesn't have time to answer the phone.  My sister tries to let the phone ring - whether it be her cell phone or office phone.  Mom just keeps calling them all.  My sister has tried to just not answer the phone - getting 4- 6 phone calls in half an hour.  It is driving my sister crazy!!   Any thoughts on what my sister could do?    Thanks so Much!!!

SusanB-dil

There are phones - or maybe program apps - that will only let mom call certain phone numbers limited times.  or - Your sister could also block her phone number at the office and the cellphone, then just call her once a day at her convenience.

Fairyland

If mom’s phone is a landline, I have found Telecalm helpful. I control all the calls in and out. For the cell, I never answer it right away, she has to leave a message or missed call, and I call back when I am ready.

harshedbuzz

If this is an anxiety-driven behavior, medication to relieve that anxiety might be a good start. A geripsych could prescribe something mild to take the edge off and improve her quality of life. 

Getting her engaged in activities might be useful, too. Perhaps a day program a couple days a week would be a pleasant distraction for her.

Another thought is that your sister could get an inexpensive burner phone on which she could record a reassuring outgoing voicemail message which she keeps set to silent and retrieve and return the messages once a day at her convenience. 

HB

terei

As buzz said, there are probably meds that would blunt this anxiety induced behavior. 

Am I right in assuming that mom’s phone is programmed so all she has to do is press one digit to call certain people?      This should be shut down immediately, if that is the case.  To use the phone responsibly, she should also be able to dial a full number to access anyone.

When this behavior starts, access to phoning should be restricted or even removed. (If there are other phones to make contact TO your mother, I would suggest disabling her phone by removing the battery + using excuses as to why it does not work + why repair is delayed) Your sister should call your mother once a day on her own schedule.   Your mother is past the point of making decisions to contact people at will.  

RobinNicole

Telecalm worked well for us as well- if you want her to be able to call out- and who can call in. Has log so the family could see when she called / who, we blocked times (went right to voicemail with my voice) , limited respective dialing etc.  but again- that is worth looking into if that is of interest.  We did not take into the AL when placed -although many folks use it there as well as their LO either call family a lot themselves or ask staff to help them.

Fairyland

Looking back, Telecalm was one win among the headspinning number of problems I have been trying to solve. It immediately did what it promised and my mum even improved cognitively, I think without the strain of the constant loud ringing of phone calls and her struggling to respond appropriately to 99% bad actors on the other end of the phone.

She isn’t a repetitive caller (yet) but it seems particularly aimed at that issue which seems a common one.

Knitting daughter

I got excited at first as this sounded like a solution to our problem. But appears Telecalm is for landlines only.

Does anyone know of something like Telecalm for cell phones?