Just beginning this journey with my mom

Teal87

 Hello. I’m trying gather information or help for my mom. She lives in VA, not far from VA Beach. She has been having memory issues that have been getting gradually worse. She asked her NP for a referral to a geriatric/memory doctor. She contacted them. They asked her to complete a 17 page questionnaire. She finally heard back from them and they are scheduling in January 2023, 9 months away.  That feels like a very long time to wait for someone whose memory has been getting worse. 

I live in MA and I’m trying to figure out how best to help her and what we can do to get her seen by someone sooner.  I am very new to navigating it all for older parents and I’m an only child figuring it out on my own as i go. 

If you were in my situation, what would you do? Should i just start calling doctors to see if i can get her an appointment? A geriatric doctor? Neurologist?  Should i get a copy of the 17 page questionnaire? Something completely different. I’m feeling lost and overwhelmed by it all besides the obvious sad to accept this is happening. Any help or guidance you can provide is greatly appreciated.  

Lindsay22

Hi Teal, welcome to the boards.  Here you will find many valuable resources and connections as you and your mom move through this process.  Two suggestions: one, contact the Area Agency on Aging in her area.  They are national and nonprofit and can direct you toward someone who can evaluate her sooner.  You may also want to contact the ADRC (Alzheimer's disease research center) and see what they would suggest for evaluation.  They are across the country and based out of hospitals with geriatric programs.  This was the route I took with my mom and it was good because they did all the testing in one place and the doctors and social workers all work together. One suggestion on what not to do, don't pay a private service for an evaluation.  This is often just a way for private caregiving companies to charge for additional services (this happened to me).  What you need is a diagnosis and then you can move forward with a care plan.

harshedbuzz

Hi and welcome.

I am also an only who was living hours away from my parents. They split their time between FL and MD. When mom finally decided dad needed to be seen, the neurologist in Delmarva was scheduling 6-9 months out when dad was mid-psychotic episode. I had her drive him north where I met them at the PA welcome center and drove them to the Hospital of the University of PA's ER. Dad was admitted, given a tentative diagnosis and started treatment right away. It wasn't ideal, but he got better care near me than was available near him. 

If you're near Boston, MGH has a Memory Clinic. Could you schedule something there and have her visit for the workup?

HB

Vitruvius

If there is a Medical school near you they may have an associated memory clinic you could contact. That is what I did, a nearby state university medical school had such a facility. When I contacted them I was able to get an assessment of my DW within a few weeks which was done by a professor of neurology and a neuropsychologist both specialists in dementia. They did several hours of testing over two days. They also provided a dementia social worker for caregivers who met with me as my DW was being tested. They provided further recommendations and an lengthy explanation of DW's condition. They do not provide on going consultation but referred us to a local neurologist. That kind of referral seemed to help getting an appointment with them fairly quickly as well. 

So YMMV but such a place may be somewhere to start rather than directly to a private neurologist.