Escaped Light Memory Care Unit, Moved to MC, trying to escape there

philipsmom

My mom is 86 but physically healthy outside the dementia/Alz. She hated the light memory care unit from day one. This week she succeeding in escaping. (so much for locked units) The police found her unharmed, but the facility said she had to go to the regular memory care unit across the street. So, she hates that too, (she'll hate everything) she is refusing to take her meds (dementia, depression, anxiety), they say they can't force her and she is trying to escape there. Honestly, what did they think would happen? The staff apparently can't redirect her and calls me "Can you come?" today I could not get away to go over there. I tried talking to Mom on the phone, but she screamed at me and disowned me once again.  The facility just had a huge overhaul of their management and nursing team (poorly run) and caregivers come and go; they're seriously understaffed. Is this common at other facilities? Should I look elsewhere (yikes - I'd hate to move her again) or is it bad all over?  I am not the best at it, but shouldn't MC personnel be trained to get the residents to take their meds and get them interested in something other than the door? My dad is still on campus, across the street, but yesterday when he went over to visit her, they actually tipped his wheelchair over while taking him back across the street leaving the poor guy lying in the road until more help could come. I don't really want to bother him (90, stroke) with her behavior issues. He gets called upon by them to "come help" too.

I don't know what I should do. She needs her meds, obviously. Can they kick her out?  Any help is appreciated.

JJAz

Not all memory care is created equally.  If they are calling you for help, this is the wrong place.  Find a facility that has skill in dealing with difficult patients.  I used a local placement consultant that knew all of the facilities and their staff.  She steered me to a small group home that was fantastic. 

Blessings,

Jamie

p.s. Can they kick her out?  Not technically.  Instead, they will send her to the ER because of "some problem" and the ER will send her to a psych hospital to have her meds adjusted.  The original facility will decline to take her back stating that they cannot meet her needs.  Try to avoid this scenario if at all possiblem

MN Chickadee

This does not sound normal based on my experience with memory care facilities. None of this would have happened, and if it did it would have been an enormous deal. Some MC are indeed better than others. A good one will not rely on family too much, they will find ways to deal with issues themselves. A well trained staff will have the experience and training to deal with someone who doesn't want to take pills and learn tricks to cajole them into it. Same for redirection and getting them to do activities or something other than exit seeking. Sure many are understaffed, but a good one is finding ways to deal with it and still the staff that are there will be well trained to deal with these issues. 

If they want to kick her out they will find a way. It does take a PWD a while to settle in. If you want to try to keep mom and dad on the same campus you might give it a few weeks if they will let you to see if mom settles in a bit. My mother did horribly for about a month but after that it was smooth sailing. It sounds like she may have a fair amount of anxiety and behavioral issues. What is she now for anxiety/mood? If they persist you might consider having her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. They are the best equipped to tinker with meds and find the right ones/dosage to improve a person's quality of life and ability to be cared for. If this is not possible then at least some other physician.  In some circumstances a PWD needs to do this in an inpatient setting. If she is combative with staff then it will be hard to find a place willing to take such behaviors if left untreated and an inpatient stay at a geriatric psych unit may be your only option. There a PWD stays a few weeks to get the meds right and you find placement from there. This may make it hard to get into a place you like, since it is a tight time frame and you don't know who will have a bed open at the time she is discharged. I would be touring other places now and choosing some alternatives in case you need them. Working with her physicians to get her aggression dialed down needs to be a priority.  Can you call a care conference with the nursing staff at the current home to try to work out a plan? This may help inform you as to whether they are willing to work with you, and if they have the training and bandwidth to even deal with this or if your long range plan is a move to a new facility. 

philipsmom

Jamie - They sent her to the ER this morning - squeaky clean bill of health - your words were ringing in my ears the whole time. My brother took her back to the MC facility and told me he got the impression that they want her gone, too, but took her back in.  I will have to start looking around. So stressed. A new move is the last thing she needs right now, but probably necessary as these personnel seem ill equipped.

MN Chickadee - I plan on scheduling a meeting with them with my brother (I don't know if I should include my elderly dad who lives there in AL or not??)

And, I have a geriatric psych person scheduled to come out but not for a couple more weeks.  She is taking (or supposed to be taking) Donezil (5 mg), Buspar (5 mg tid), Sertraline (125mg), and recently Gabapentin (300 mg)

Thank you both!

jfkoc

Yes, please start looking elsewhere and please start with a phone call asking about the specific training program used and asking for a copy of their license and contract. 

I also suggest checking the drugs taken for side effects and also interactions. I use drugs.com but there are other sites online.