In Love, By Amy Bloom

CStrope

So I just finished reading this book by Amy Bloom and I'm wondering if anyone else has read it.  The friend that suggested it was worried that it would upset me.  It did not. In fact, there was not a tear shed throughout the reading of it.  I actually wanted more info, more details about how this story unfolded and what happened after.

I won't go into the topic so that, a. I don't ruin it for others, and b. I don't offend others that may not approve of the subject matter.

Just wondering if anyone else has read it.

Beachfan

I have this book on my "books to be read" list, but it has not appeared at our local library yet, so I'm waiting.  I am familiar with the subject matter and look forward to reading it.  I did read "White Houses" by the same author and enjoyed it.  It's about Eleanor Roosevelt and her partner.  Amy Bloom also wrote, "Lucky Us", also on my list........ too many books, too little time.  Always appreciate book recommendations; I like reading all kinds of books.

Jo C.

CStrope, while kindly intending to try and not divulge the topic covered in this book, it has by now prompted everyone to look it up to see what was secretive.

I found the husband's statement could pull in different directions:

"I don’t want to end my life,” Brian admits in one of the early telephone interviews with Dignitas, “but I’d rather end it while I am still myself, rather than become less and less of a person.”

"Less" . . . . open to so many variables. 

J.

M1

On my list too C Strope but I’m not sure I can do it right now. I’ve thought about it a lot though.

dayn2nite2

At one time, I used to hold Dignitas in high regard.

I no longer do.  Like everything else, money is at the bottom of this.  And they make plenty.

CStrope

Jo C. I did not intend to be "secretive" but rather did not want to offend anyone. I hope my intentions were not upsetting to others.

I am also a huge Wisconsin Badger football fan, and was intrigued by the connection to this book.  Alan Ameche was a Badger Heisman winner, and his son Brian, who the book is about, was born while his dad was a player for UW.

Stuck in the middle

dayn2nite2 wrote:

At one time, I used to hold Dignitas in high regard.

I no longer do.  Like everything else, money is at the bottom of this.  And they make plenty.

$20,000 is a lot for something my cousin did with a plastic bag and a piece of string.

Old89

I read the book and found it very informative and engaging.  I saw a blurb or review on it and the author's written voice is what grabbed me despite the topic.  She has a very relatable style and approaches a very touchy subject with insight, wisdom, a touch of wry humor and a heavy dose of humanity and true love. 

What I did not expect is that to a greater degree than many of the too many books I have read on Alzheimers and caregiving, her experiences with her husband who was a true love of her life connected with my experiences that I often suffered alone.   I felt less alone as I read this, almost as if I was part of there family which was having to confront the same ugly truth I am confronting.

Thank you for bringing it up.

CStrope

Old89 thank you for your reply.  I agree with you completely.

BlueMax

Yes my DW, who has early onset, and I both read the book and listened to her NPR interview.  My DW wants her life to end with dignity and, having watched a family member suffer and die from AD, she is evaluating options.  This disease is so heart-wrenching in having a loved one even have to contemplate these types of decisions or what type of "life" is ahead.

Rescue mom

Thanks for this. I’d not heard of this book before, but plan to get it now. I’ve been reading Amy Bloom for years, back when she was writing long magazine stories, and always loved her work. Didn’t know about her husband.

dayn2nite2

Stuck in the middle wrote:

dayn2nite2 wrote:

At one time, I used to hold Dignitas in high regard.

I no longer do.  Like everything else, money is at the bottom of this.  And they make plenty.

$20,000 is a lot for something my cousin did with a plastic bag and a piece of string.

Exactly.  They portray themselves as a very benevolent organization, oh we just want to help people, blah blah blah and are getting lots and lots of money for it.  If that's what you want to accomplish, great, you can do it yourself and never leave the US.  You just can't have anyone assist you in all but a few states.

Rennbird

I read the book and found it a very good description of the craziness of living with a person suffering with Dementia.  Ms. Bloom was able to use her words so carefully that I almost felt as though I was experiencing it all again.  Each of our journeys are the same but different.  There is no hope for the disease so I guess our only hope is that we each do the best we can for the person we love.  No matter what choices we make, there is no escaping the pain.

Donr

Purchased from Amazon.  Look forward to reading it. I think about this as a way out in the future before it is too late.

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Ed1937

I have not heard of the book either. Apparently, if that's something someone would like to do, it is legal in Oregon, Washington D.C., Hawaii, Washington, Maine, Colorado, New Jersey, California, and Vermont. I have no idea what the cost would be. It's a shame we have diseases that would drive someone to that.

sandwichone123

There's no state in which a person with dementia and no underlying illness that would cause natural death within 6 months can legally exit.

All states with right to die require that the person be certified as having 6 months or less of life remaining and must be legally, intellectually, and physically capable of self-administering the terminal dose. That's why people with dementia that want an out, who don't want their loved ones to go to prison, choose this option.

tigersmom

Thank you so much for making me aware of this. I got it from my library and tore through it in one day. I found it heartbreaking, compelling, and one hundred percent relatable. I learned a few years ago that my first husband's father chose to end his life at Dignitas (he lived  in Zurich). So it helped me envision the process for two people -- for my former father-in-law, and for Amy's husband, Brian. Thank you.

harshedbuzz

The interview with Terry Gross on "Fresh Air" was very compelling. 

After an Alzheimer's diagnosis, Amy Bloom's husband sought out assisted suicide : Shots - Health News : NPR

Sligo177

Yes, I did read it, and am glad I did.  I thought it was a good book, could not put it down.

CStrope

Sligo177 I too am so glad I read it.  Before starting it, I was afraid it would upset me, instead I had a sense of congratulations for them being able to fulfill their wishes.

I am now reading "My Two Elaines"

Donny2515

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MaryG123

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