Newbie Here(4)

Brokefoot

My fantastic MIL has just been diagnosed.  She lives around 300 feet from us and I want to support her as much as I can.  Is there a beginner's kit or list of things I (or she?) should do or have right away?  Sorry if this is a silly question but I am kind of learning and researching in real time here if you know what I mean.  Thanks a TON.

Bob in LW

Hi Brokefoot, welcome to the boards.  The best way to learn about caregiving here is to just read the posts in the caregivers' forums. You will recognize similarities to your own situation and learn from them.  You can also post specific questions and get answers from different points of view.  Caregivers' experiences are quite varied, and you will gain a wealth of information.

Jo C.

Hello Brokefoot and a very warm welcome to you.  What a wonderful SIL you are and a blessing to your MIL.

One of the best basic writings regarding dementia is, "Understanding the Dementia Experience," by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller, a dementia specialist. It explains so much and why things happen as they do. Here is the link in pdf that can be downloaded and printed free of charge:

http://www.dementiacarestrategies.com/12_pt_Understanding_the_Dementia_Experience.pdf

You can also contact the Alzheimer's Assn. 24 Hour Helpline that can be reached at, (800) 272-3900.  If you call, ask to be transferred to a Care Consultant. There are no fees for this service.  Consultants are highly educated Social Workers who specialize in dementia and family dynamics.  They are very supportive, have much information and can often assist us with our problem solving and planning.  They may have informtion they can provide you.

It is important to know that every person with dementia is different from the next.   Some of the problem issues discussed on this Message Board may never happen.   Many who do Post have problem issues that need assistance, but they do not happen with everyone.  Best advice is to read, read, read and then read some more.  Knowledge is power. It is also good to have a primary MD for usual healthcare, but to also have a dementia specialist as part of the healthcare team for best management of dementia needs and education as the dementia later evolves.  The specialist is also best at making an accurate diagnosis for the type of dementia there is.  There are multiple different types of dementia of which Alzheimer's is only one.  Some medications that assist with one type of dementia may be contraindicated in another, so a dementia specialist can be very helpful. 

It is extremely important to get to an Elder Law Attorney asap to get all legal papers in a row while your MIL can still sign her name legally.   You will need a Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare and another for Finance which go into play when she can no longer make such decisions for herself. If she has property, she will want to talk to the attorney about a Trust; the attorney will also advise what can be done to position your MIL best for finances for the future.

The Alzheimer's Assn. also has much information online - here is a start - scroll down for topics:

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving

We are all here in support of one another and that now includes you too! Let us know how you are doing, we will be thinking of you.

With warm thoughts being sent your way,

J.

Brokefoot

Thanks so much!

Brokefoot

Thanks so much for this!  I didn't even think about the elder law thing.  I'm a SIL (is that right? - a guy).  Not that it really matters because who cares.  Thanks again!!

Jo C.

EEEK!  I just slapped myself and am sorry for assuming. I have now changed the designation to SIL.

You are doing the very best by gaining information very early on so that you will be prepared. I cannot say enough about getting those legal matters addressed asap, it makes a huge difference and prevents many problems in the future. Be sure to ask the attorney about your spouse getting on your MILs accounts for finances; there are in's and out's for anything financial.

Be sure it is an Elder Law Attorney your MIL consults.  It makes a difference as there are so many bits and pieces with Elder Law.  If you have a Certified Elder Law Attorney near you, all the better. You can find names on the CELA site.  CELAs are a bit more pricey, but they are considered the absolute experts.  Be sure to check fees from one to another, they can vary wildly. If no CELA near you, do use an Elder Law Attorney specialist.

You will get set up very nicely biy early planning for the future and will have a safety net in place. 

J.