My dream

Ed1937

As most of you know, I've been struggling with placement. Typically I don't remember my dreams, but I remember the one from last night. I had made up my mind to place my wife, but I had to go to another guy's house for something. When I got there, his 5 kids, all of whom were severely mentally handicapped, were running around. I immediately thought "How could I possibly place her?".

Quilting brings calm

That’s the classic example of someone trying to work out their internal struggle through a dream.   You have nothing to feel guilty about if you decide to place her.  You’ve done your best.  Good days probably make you wonder why you seem to be reaching for the placement option, while bad ones show you why you are here.  Also- you can’t compare yourself to others.   

Jo C.

Our dreams make strange "movies" out of our internal concerns and struggles.  You are doing your level best Ed, and will know with clarity what is best if and when it is time.   Not only what is best for our Loved Ones comes into our decisions, but most of us also have to consider finances in addition when making that decision.

You just took the series on caregiving which may have given you a bit of time to mull over the best road ahead and you have a wonderful, very intelligent daughter who knows all the details to discuss things with which I would imagine is helpful.

Warmest of thoughts are going out to you and hope your next dream is more pleasant.

J.

Stuck in the middle

I have dreams like that, when I'm about to do something I don't want to do but can't avoid.  I think it is a way to cope with emotional trauma.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Buggsroo

Ed,

I went through different phases of dreams during my thirties. My take on your dream is that it is just presenting you with your struggle in an allegorical sense. Dreams are signposts that let you know whatever you are grappling with. Sometimes they present you with the answer, but often they let you know where you are at in the decision making process. I understand you are conflicted with placing your wife, I wish you well with whatever you decide. 

Cherjer

Hi Ed,

I just want to thank you for talking about the caregiving class you had taken. I went on the site (Careblazers with Dr. Natalie) and have gotten such good information. Thank you so much! Whatever  your decision is will be the right one. I hope to keep my husband at home as long as I can physically and mentally do it. Just listening to Dr. Natalie has been a big help for me.

toolbeltexpert

Ed I agree with most about your dream. And I also know you learned alot in that caregiving class. You shared about useing the technique with your wife. It takes lots of practice. I am also in awe of how much you do at your age. You will know what you need to do and when to do it, only you know.........

Davegrant

I know that when I get a vivid frightening dream it is usually at a time of great stress. I still remember a dream I had as an adolescent when the polio epidemic was rampant. I was in a pool and everyone there had polio and I couldn't get out. At 80 years it is still with me. 

I follow and identify with many of your experiences as I have many of the same with my DW. I expect to move to the placement issues dependent of the progression sooner or later. I can feel your struggle. I appreciate your comments of support to so many people. 

We are all in the same boat, the view is only a little different. 

Scooterr

   Ed, I always  make sure to read your post. When I read your post, your always very detailed, knowledgeable, and there's a lot of wisdom in your words. When you post a question on our forum you really get people thinking, which seems to bring out clarity. I believe a lot of individuals on our forum have a deep respect for your input, advice, and awareness.

   I know your struggling Ed, this is a hard decision. Ed, I know what ever decision you make it will be the right one. Your a strong man Ed, very caring, and loving. I truly admirer your strength. Praying for you.