Caregiver help in toileting

Pansygirl

My husband has dementia.  I have help 3 days a week so I can get out to get groceries and supplies or doctors appointments for myself.  My problem is that my husband won’t let anyone help him to the commode or use the urinal.  He had all his toes amputated and sits in his recliner all day.  I don’t know what to do.  I fired the last caregiver because he was disrespectful to my husband and he fell while in his care.  The new caregiver is supposed to be more experienced in dementia care patients but I don’t think she knows more than me. 

Has anyone had this problem before and what are some solutions to this issue?

sandwichone123

Welcome, Pansygirl, to the club no one wants to join. Most caregivers do not know as much as we here know, because the fact is that we're more interested in learning than most caregivers are.

People with dementia have trouble with change. If you're who's been doing something, that's how they want it done, and they won't get more comfortable with something until it's been happening for a while. Sadly, I have few solutions to offer other than offering knowledge to your caregivers in bite-sized pieces and introducing change slowly, perhaps by letting the caregiver help you help him and then gradually changing the balance.

Rick4407

Hello Pansygirl,  I can identify with some of his issues (VN and agent orange).  However, I am the care giver.  My DW is in late stage 6, newly urine incontinent.  So it's approaching 1AM and I'm awake after a flood in the bathroom.  She's now dry and back to bed.  Sandwichone above is correct.  Working to desensitize your DH to a caregiver by slowly incorporating him/her into your husbands bathroom routine is probably the best but slow plan.   He may then accept help from a hired caregiver. 

You could also change his routine by using night time heavier pads during your trips out.  Alternatively you could schedule your trips out only after he has had a toilet break.   You do not mention what stage he is in, that may help others offer different solutions.  

I encourage you to read here extensively, you will learn about the next problems an potential solutions before they arise.  Welcome to the forum.  Rick    

toolbeltexpert

Pansygirl I just want to say welcome. Your in the right place, I agree i have heard many folks with the same problem of a new caregiver, that a slow integration of a new caregiver is the best approach. Wishing you peace