Managing banking on behalf of LO help

Cyndisaunt

Hi everyone, 

First, I want to say that I am feeling very supported and look forward to reading all your posts even if I do not have time to respond to each one. Thank you for taking the time because I know how much time caring for our LOs takes (and gives). 

My question is about my experience with the local branch of Great NW Credit Union. I have spent more time and energy with this one bank than any other in the 4 years I have been caring for my aunt. 

To cut to end because I know if you are reading this you probably have had some similar experiences... I have a DPOA and I am a payee representative. These documents are on file with the bank manager. 

Still when I have to go in to handle something in person, I feel like a criminal. At first I thought it was me, but then the more I have had to go in person (something the ATM can't do), the tellers and even the bank manager have been very curt with me. 

I avoid the bank staff as much as possible. They recently tell me that my LO reported. her card stolen which is not possible given my LO is not able to use her phone or any phone and she is not driving so how exactly would that request have been made? Believe me I asked this exact question to a blank stare and some stale line about just reading what the computer has here... I am sure the computer also shows the name of the person who logged that detail, but at that point I was so exasperated I just let it go. 

I finally spoke up and now I am getting calls requesting additional paper work. They asked if they could take a copy of my driver's license which I later found out that they reported me to DHS. Now I am in conversation with DHS and the case was closed because I am not the problem and I have a long history of caring for my aunt with friends and family who gave witness. 

This has not been my experience in 4 years of care with the past 3 banks that hold my LO's money. This has been going on for 6 months. 

I am going to speak with the bank manager one last time tomorrow and if I am still feeling that way I am going to withdraw the money and close the account. 

1. Have any of you interviewed a bank prior to opening a new account? I am worried I will just be starting the same drama at a new bank. 
2. Is the DPOA and payee rep documentation not enough? I am asking about your experience. I do have an elder care attorney who I am meeting with next week (the attorney my LO had has retired so I have to start with a new attorney). 
3. Is this unique to this one bank? Or is it that we live in a small rural town? 

Oh, and when I spoke with DHS and my LOs financial planner both people told me that the Great NW CU local bank where we live has a flag for being an issue. I would like to take the money and run, but I am worried that I will just be in this same pickle in a few months with the new bank. 

I am hoping for some reassurance and words you have found effective, what you found worked? 

Some days, like today, I am overwhelmed by the learning curve while I juggle working full time, my family, my LOs increasing reliance on me for day to day companionship, and finding time for selfcare. I know you all know all to well.

Hugs to you all!

Cyndi

terei

Each bank will have its own rules + culture.  Do YOU have a bank that you have a good

relationship with?  If so, that is the one I would use.  Barring that, I would visit a local

bank, not a huge national one + talk to he supervisor of the deposit department.  Show them the 

documents you have + explain the circumstances + what your expectations are.

Some banks will NOT accept your DPOA + will want their own forms completed.  If your aunt 

is not competent to do this, you will have to use a bank that accepts your DPOA.

I have a feeling that this CU may have had a bad experience with elder financial abuse + may 

now be uber suspicious of relatives who have to take on this role(just a guess)

You say you have had these problems for six months.  That is considered a new account + they 

are just getting to know you.  If you have better service elsewhere, by all means, move he money.

Sleepless in Sleep

I’d close the account and open one at a batter bank.

BassetHoundAnn

I would not take the surliness of the bank staff personally. Covid has really upended banking as we know it. Banks have been slashing staff, cutting branches, bouncing staff between branches in far-flung cities, and on top of that not training staff properly. I have run into difficulties similar to yours with my mom's bank and also with the credit union that I've banked at for over 30 years. In every instance I've concluded the problem is lack of staff training and highly overworked, over-stressed staff. I have some dozies of tales in regard to opening a representative payee account and also using my DPOA. But in the end it's all come down to staff not being adequately trained and not understanding the rules (or the forms they are supposed to fill out). And staff being surly because they are so stressed and overworked. 

I would put as much on auto-pay as you can. Bills, deposits, etc. Pay the rest with a debit card for your aunt's account, or with checks from her account. And keep excellent records. That way you can avoid going into the bank as much as possible. 

It's all just another demeaning indignity and hassle of being a caregiver, isn't it? 

jmlarue

I suspect it's part of the credit union culture. I've had roadblock thrown up at the credit unions just naming beneficiaries to my account - someone who need only show my death certificate and valid ID so my account becomes theirs to do with as they wish. I have several national bank accounts that allowed me to sign the appropriate paperwork online. Easy peasy. The one credit union account is demanding a copy of my beneficiaries photo ID and me appearing in person to complete the paperwork. Needless to say, I have now transferred all the funds they held and closed that account. I've told them that I have assessed them a 10-yard penalty for "unnecessary roughness." They won't be getting any favorable recommendations from me.

Battlebuddy

  I second the motion that it could be Credit Union culture. The only banking issue I had was with a credit union related to a car loan. There was an account balance of 325 dollars once I paid the car off. They wouldn’t send it to me because my husband opened the account to buy the car. I had to send all twelve pages of the POA and then they required all kinds of other documentation. They sent me more papers to sign on their end. Waited months and finally had to call and complain . The finally sent the money. 

   I think I would try a local bank or a big branch like BOA that must deal with POAs all the time. 

Fairyland

I’ve had a lot of struggles with banks but none have made me feel like a criminal for trying to help a frail person. Maybe it’s helpful that it is my mother with the same last name and somewhat appearance, I am told, not my aunt. But I would be opening another account and testing them out at this stage, with a view to being able to move on, in fact that is what I have done for other snags, nut not down to staff unhelpfulness  issues.

I have another bank conundrum to sort out tomorrow (lost safe deposit key), so will be sure to thank them for their help after reading this!

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Battlebuddy

   I agree with Victoria 2020. They don’t care about your loved one ( or not as much) They mostly care about their bottom line. 

   The additional paperwork I had to fill out to get out 325 dollars ,all related to absolving the bank of any responsibility for the money ,in case I decided to sue them.  

toolbeltexpert

Luckily we have a great bank with local folks who get to know your name. I have a bond with our bank as we walked into a bank robbery about 15yrs ago talk about job stress, it really traumatized the tellers., now when I when I go into a bank I look first. But if your bank can't get it together I wouldn't hesitate to move the money to one who can meet your needs with good customer service. They definitely are trying to use less people. I have taken the bank survey and make it clear that in person custo.er service is the number one reason I use my bank.

Quilting brings calm

I think it’s much harder for anyone other than the spouse- unless you are actually added to the account.  My parents added me to their joint account because my mom was too I’ll to manage the bills,   Then my step-dad went in two weeks later and opened his own account and moved 99% of the money to it.  The banker never blinked even though she had seen my mother, step-dad and me together a few days before.  Knew exactly why I had been added to the account, knew what condition my  mother was in, how incapable my step-dad was about the bills,  and  knew we were moving them back to our home state the same day he moved the money.   I had been there the day before getting the cashier’s check for the movers.  Once he moved the money, she refused to discuss it with me or my sister- who had also been added to the joint account.  Told us it was all perfectly legal.   Wonder what she would have done if I had been the one moving the money? 

If you can go to your own bank and they will accept your power of attorney to open a new account, do it. 

mommyandme (m&m)

They called DHS? Yikes… I guess it’s good they’re watching out for their customers but jeez, I’d move on… it’s what’s in your gut and our gut feelings in this journey are often the way to go.  

So sorry for this hassle added to all the many struggles. 

Olly_Bake

I started off with DPOA for dad. Many places especially banks still wanted him with me. Glad he was still able to use a walker. I obtained conservatorship and some companies, like t-mobile, still wanted to speak with dad to obtain permission from him for internet. Needless to say I was unable to get the internet or security cameras installed. I guess with all the fraud, they are trying to protect themselves but it sure has become a headache.

DHS? How in the world? That's a deal breaker I would say.

Jo C.

In such a situation, I would be very careful about doing any knee-jerk reactions but would still change banks/credit unions.

NOTE:  You mention you have an appointment with your attorney next week, he/she may be able to give you some good insight on how to format things and it is only a few days away. You will be paying for good advice, so that may be to your benefit AND it would also be well documented that you sought legal advice regarding financial care.

As for where to go and how to get the money there . . . yes; you can indeed make an appointment to see the manager of the possible new bank to "interview" them on their procedures and how they manage such accounts.  You can get a good feeling by talking to a person before setting up an account, and they too get to interview and know you.  There will undoubtedly be information in their private files regarding your meeting and how responsible you were.

If this were me, I would not ask for a check to take the money out in order to seem like I am giving them a poke in the eye so to speak.  After deciding upon another financial institution, I would have the money transferred from bank to bank; or credit union to your preferred place.  This way there is not even the appearance of wrong doing and you have not accessed a single penny. I know; the amounts in the money would be the same upon new deposit account, but still . . .

One bit that is very important . . . NEVER , ever, ever, mingle any of your money with hers; not a single penny.  That would cause such problems and it could become a nightmare. Always keep your money separate from hers.  If you are getting paid for assisting your LO, be sure to have a "bill" that you make out with what was done, when it was done and even how much time it took.  You can retain that document to coordinate anything paid you from your LOs account.  Keep those in file forever.   If ever questioned, good paper trail can save the day. I saved every billing, checks for payment, receipts, etc. Nothing was done away with as a safety measure.  I did a financial report every month showing what was paid out to who and why.

I also learned that some banks, even though I had a legal DPOA done through an attorney, wanted me to fill out their own DPOA.  In any case, a copy of my DPOA did indeed need to be sent to the bank's attorneys to check it out.  No problem, all was fine, but a bit frustrating.

J.

eaglemom

You have received some excellent advice / guidance here. Please make certain to let us know what you end up doing and how it works out.

On a totally different note, but dealing with a bank, I just had it with a local branch. The tellers are very knowable, the branch manager however isn't. And sadly if you happen to go into the bank for anything other than a deposit you have to go through her. She is not service orientented at all, speaks over the customer (me) and tells me I can't do what I was wanting to do. She is always crankly. I know I can do when I want to do & I don't have to use a cashiers check. She was miserable to even try to talk with. I went to the teller whom completed my transaction, rolled her eyes at the manager and thanked me for my business. A couple of day later, I went into a different branch and withdrew all my money - checking and savings and put it in another bank. That is my story and how I personally handled something different than what your doing, however, I had had it with the manager being a jerk. There are banks and credit unions whom would love to work with you I'm sure. It just takes more time and energy on your part to find them.

eagle