My husband had a stroke.

Paris20

It happened yesterday morning. He suddenly couldn’t move his right arm and leg. I called 911 immediately and he was treated within that golden hour. However, as the day progressed, his symptoms worsened. We don’t know why. They conducted many, many tests and scans. So far all that the scans show is evidence of Alzheimer’s…no surprise there. I had to cancel our trip for my mother’s hundredth birthday. I dread telling Mom all this bad news. She had a stroke two months ago. My kids are coming from around the country today to help me (I must have done something right). I am trying to maintain my self-control and so far I am OK. I don’t know what will happen with the combination of stroke and AD but it is definitely not good.

Quilting brings calm

I don’t know of anything to say to make you feel  better.  Just know we are here and you can post all day and let us know your feelings.   It’s good that your family is coming to support you.  I’m sorry that you don’t get to go see your mom.  100 years is quite the achievement.

M1

So sorry Paris.  I hope they can keep him comfortable regardless.  Thinking of you, all hospitalizations are stressful.

Joydean

So sorry Paris. Having great kids is a blessing. Very sad that you want get to be with your mom on her 100th birthday. Prayers for you and your family!

Ed1937

Oh Paris! I'm sorry. To miss your mother's 100th birthday is terrible. But to have your DH have a stroke on top of that is more than you should have to endure. We're here for you whenever you feel like posting.

White Crane

Dear Paris, I am so sorry and am holding you and your DH in prayer.  Missing your mother's 100th birthday has to be difficult for you.  I'm glad your family is coming to help you.  Sending hugs.

toolbeltexpert

Paris so sorry to hear,so many others have expressed what I would say. We are all here praying for you.

Paris20

Thank you all so very much. Your support means the world to me.There was no change overnight but I am hoping to learn more from his neurologist, who happened to be in the hospital when we arrived in the ER. At least we had one thing go well.

Gig Harbor

Hopefully today will bring you answers. I am glad your kids will be there to help you. Hopefully you can all do a zoom visit with your mom.

Jo C.

Dear Paris, my thoughts are with you and I am so very sorry for what is happening.   Hospitals can be such stressful places, it is wonderful that your children are with you in support.

J.

Marie58

Paris, saying prayers for you and DH. Glad your kids are coming to help and offer support. Sorry you'll miss your mom's birthday.

ladyzetta

Dear Paris,    I am so sorry, you and your DH will be in my prayers. It its very nice your kids will be with you. Please let us know how things are going we care. Hugs Zetta

Cherjer

Dear Paris, I am so sorry to hear this news. Your family will give you all the support you need just by showing their love and being with you. My prayers to you and  your family.

Joe C.

Paris, I’m sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything else. I prayer there is some improvement and the support of your children provides you comfort.

Paris20

The MRI showed that there was a blockage in the motor area of the brain. That’s why DH’s right side is paralyzed. No doctor is willing to provide a prognosis yet but the nurses tell me there may not be great progress. I’m hoping he will be admitted to the rehab wing of the hospital. He’ll get the care he needs and it will buy me a little time. I cannot take care of him at home if he remains like this. It kills me because I know it will kill him. I’m starting to think that might be a blessing. 

Meanwhile, I must create a fiblet, perhaps a real fib, to explain to my mother why I am not coming to see her, especially on her hundredth birthday. My family wants me to keep the real reason from her because her health is so fragile that the news could kill her. If all that isn’t enough, my beagle’s tumor is larger and now affecting her walking. As the French say, “Oy vey.”

Quilting brings calm

Paris

I’m so sorry the news isn’t better.  I totally understand your mixed feelings about the future.  

About your mom…. Why don’t you use a fiblet of  you being exposed to some temporary thing - the flu, covid etc - you are fully vaccinated, yada, yada, but you can’t risk her being exposed.  You will come later.  Which, if he is placed in rehab, you will be able to once he’s stabilized. It’s not really even a full lie… you are probably exhausted and you do run a risk of catching any bug you are exposed to at this point

Beachfan

Paris,

Praying for you and DH and a positive outcome, whatever that happens to be and thank  goodness for your family support.  Hopefully, you can work out the issue with your mom.  It stinks that everything is falling apart at once.  Stay strong, one day at a time.

Gig Harbor

Paris is there any way you can make a very quick trip to see your mom and have your kids stay with your husband. If he is stable enough to consider a move to rehab maybe you could see your mom. Good luck.

ImMaggieMae

Paris I am so sorry. That is too much to have to deal with all at once. Could the timing be any worse?  The good news is tha that you were there to recognize it happening and get immediate help within that critical hour. Hopefully that will make a difference. It’s probably too soon to tell right now. Being admitted to rehab would be a good break for you and hopefully not terribly hard on him. If your kids are going to be around for a while, maybe they could provide more visits. Prayers that your dog can stabilize and hang in there for a while. Pets are members of the family too and so dependent on us. 

I agree with the others on the fiblets for your mother. Whatever it takes to get everyone through this. I will be thinking and praying for you and your family.

Paris20

I am going to my mother’s hundredth birthday celebration. I will drive down with my daughter and fly home that night. My husband will be going to rehab in the hospital. He has had a couple of PT sessions in the hospital, plus swallowing tests, and he did as OK as one could expect. I am grateful that he will be safe while I see my mother. I’m going to have to tell her something about my husband’s absence. I may try the truth but I’ll get opinions from my brother and my kids. Once again, thanks to all of you.

Quilting brings calm

Paris 

I’m glad you can see a way to go to your Mom’s birthday.  I wish you felt able to stay overnight, but I can understand why you don’t.   I hope you are able to get sone sleep while your spouse is in the hospital.  

Just tell your mom you felt the  trip was going to be too hard on him and that he is in the care of excellent sitters at a 24 hour day care they operate. 

Marie58

Paris, soooooo glad you get to go!! Happy Birthday to your mom!

David J

Paris, I’m sure you will worry, but knowing he is receiving 24/7 care should allow you to enjoy your Mother’s birthday. Try to have good visit, and there is no reason to tell your mother what is going on. At that age, life should be as pleasant as possible.

Joydean

Paris, so very happy for you getting to go for your mother’s birthday. Not too many people get to have a 100th birthday, she is a very blessed lady. Prayers for you and your family. Glad your husband will have good help. Please enjoy your time with your family. Happy Mother’s Day to you and your mom!

ImMaggieMae

Paris, I’m so glad to hear you are going to your mother’s party. Your husband is being cared for, so you don’t need to worry about not being there for him. I hope you reconsider and spend the night at or near your mother’s. That’s a lot of stress and traveling for one day. It would probably do you a world of good.

Paris20

UPDATE

My husband will likely be transferred to hospital rehab tomorrow. He’ll be there for a short time because it is not likely he’ll improve significantly. After that, our options are severely limited. My thoughts to bring him home with a burly caregiver were soon dashed by every experienced health care professional I spoke to. Assisted living with licensed nursing care is not available here. That leaves rehabilitation/skilled nursing facility. I wanted to do anything but this but, among other issues, it’s what Medicare, supplemental insurance, and long term care insurance will cover to a reasonable extent. Everything else will wipe me out. This is not living. My poor husband.

Jean loves wildlife

Paris, so glad you will be able to be with your mom on her hundredth birthday. The fiblet was out of love. Your kids will be a great help and support. Yes I’m sure you did more than “something” right in raising them. What a blessing to have them there at this difficult time. Sending hugs and prayers.

jmlarue

It seems like our best laid plans to care for our LO's are frustrated at every turn. It's such a harsh reality and the only support we can offer one another is kind words and promises to keep you in our thoughts and prayers. It seems so inadequate and I'm so sorry that it is. Illegitimi non carborundum.

Quilting brings calm

Paris-  I think there’s one thing we’ve all learned at this point in our lives -   Our lives really  aren’t under our control.  Things happen that throw us off course or even derail us. Dementia, for sure, and now a stroke.  You’ve done the best you could and thankfully you do have long term care insurance.  Remember, you didn’t cause any of this, and you are doing the best you can for him.  Listen to the medical and professional experts.   And, yes, it’s vital that your protect yourself financially as best you can.  For your children’s sake. 

Go to your Mom’s party.   Try to have fun.  It’s not mean to enjoy such a momentous occasion, and your spouse won’t suffer because you are gone for the day.