First Post- Great Aunt with Dementia Playing in the Toilet??

AuntieMae40

My great aunt was officially diagnosed with dementia in October 2020, at age 80, after emergency surgery and a hospital/rehab stay.  She has been in AL since November 2020 and is doing well, it is sort of like her memory loss has paused.  

We took her on an outing to a family member's home for Easter and she had to use the restroom.  When she came out, she said, "I think I got some water on me."  I checked and could see spots on her pants but didn't think too much of it.  My mom went into the restroom next and found water all over the floor.  I have heard that some folks with dementia will play in the toilet or use the toilet water to clean themselves.  Have any of you ever experienced this?  I was sort of suspicious of how she was acting because she seemed to be so engaged that day and I wonder if she let her guard down when she was alone in the restroom and sort of acted out.

Backstory for those who are interested:

• Her husband passed in 2016 and she had been living on her own since then.
• In 2019, we made sure all of her paperwork in order (updated will, durable POA, healthcare POA, living will, the whole works) so it would be ready when needed.  I was also added to her bank accounts and established a good working relationship with her banker and investment manager.
• Prior to COVID, she still drove, went out to lunch every single day, was involved with church activities, etc. We knew that she had memory issues but seemed to be doing OK.
• When the COVID pandemic broke out in March 2020, we encouraged her to stay in to stay safe.  She has a history of serious lung ailments, among other things, so a COVID infection could be devastating for her.  She was/is a very social person so the isolation she was experiencing was very hard on her.  (I truly feel that this contributed to her mental decline.)  
• Until summer 2020, I thought that she was handling her bills and affairs so I did not get involved at that time.  95% of her household bills were set up on autopay.  Once summer 2020 rolled around, she got a letter in the mail that she didn't understand so I went over to read it.  She was more than 6 months' delinquent on her HOA dues and was very close to being sued.  She didn't remember to make the monthly payment.  At that time, I knew that I had to get involved in her bills.
• As the COVID isolation continued, my mom and I started to get more and more frequent calls from her, no matter how many times we called her ourselves.  We are talking about 5 calls within a 15 minute span if we were unable to answer.
• We had discussed the possibility of moving her into an assisted living facility because we thought the socialization would be extremely beneficial for her, as well as the physical safety, but due to COVID, we could not tour facilities and wanted to keep her home, away from large numbers of people to keep her safe.
• In October 2020, we got the call no one wants to receive.  My elderly aunt was not answering the phone.  Thankfully, I had a key, so my mom and I rushed over to find her on the floor.  Initially, EMTs did not want to transport her to the hospital because COVID was raging and "a fall is no reason to go to the ER" despite the fact her leg was externally rotated, significantly shorter than the other, and did not fall into a normal position when they picked her up and put her on a chair.  She thought she would be fine but I broke out my POA authority and insisted she go to the ER.  We get there, an exam and xrays are done, and a broken femur was confirmed.  She was beyond confused at this point.  Every 10 minutes, I had to explain why she was in the ER, that she had a broken femur, and was going to need surgery.  She was so upset, crying and in distress the whole time.  
• She was admitted to the hospital and surgery was done.  Her surgeon was amazing and very straightforward.  He did everything he could but due to her bone degeneration there wasn't much hope that she would ever walk again.  My hand was forced at this point and I scrambled to find an assisted living facility for her.
• She was in the hospital for a while and was then transferred to rehab where she did well physically, but not so much mentally.  A neuro psychologist was consulted and she was diagnosed with dementia.  At this time, I had to inform that she could not go home.  She was very sad but did understand why.
• Upon discharge from rehab, she immediately moved into assisted living in November 2020.  She completed her at-home rehab and is actually walking again, with the assistance of a walker and only for short distances.  

Rescue mom

Welcome, but sorry you need to be here. But in a quick answer to your question, not using  the toilet properly—or sometimes better than others—is very common. It happens to most PWDs, some sooner than others. 

They may “play in the water,” they may throw vast amounts of paper in, they may throw actual objects in. (Many of us learn to unclog, your facility will probably handle that). They may try to use the bowl and  totally miss. They may wash with the water, or try to drink it. 

 Many PWDs need to be led there, helped, and/or cleaned afterward. There are endless toilet-related problems that I never imagined before my DH had Alzheimer’s and I started reading and learning here. But toilet problems usually are part of dementia. 

If you scan through the questions and issues here, and go back a few pages, you will find a lot of discussion and ways to deal with her specific  behaviors. Hopefully the facility staff also watches out for this, most do.

Phoenix1966

When my grandmother was roughly in stage 6a, she showed me a ring she had owned for many, many years. However, she told me that she had only recently found it in the toilet and that God must have sent it to her as a gift. She thought nothing at all odd about saying she was looking around in the toilet for treasures  

Yes, playing in the toilet does happen. 

AuntieMae40

@RescueMom thank you for your insights!  I did speak to the staff at her AL facility and was told that she isn't having any toileting issues.  I obviously know that she needs more assistance/guidance when outside of AL, even if she is in a place that she has been countless times.

@Phoenix1966 thank you for your input as well!  I have all of my aunt's good jewelry in my safe for this reason.  I was afraid she would confuse the good stuff with the costume jewelry and something would happen to it.  As it is, when we were cleaning out her home, we discovered that much of her good jewelry, and the jewelry that my late uncle had, is just gone.