deep worry

satchbee

I can only bring this situation to these boards. - I am so afraid of the emotional space I am inhabiting these days. My LO was diagnosed in 2019 and is in, I estimate, stage six...I dress her, change her, take care of everything...you all know the work involved. I have started using a caregiving service and this disturbing effect has happened...now that I have truly quiet time for myself ALL the emotions held in abeyance flood every crevice of my being. All I can think of is the Oxy Rx sitting in the cupboard...I need help. But the last time I worked with a therapist, in 2019, she told me to go 'to my happy place', my intellect, and not indulge in my feelings...for the sake of myself and my situation.

Trying to stay 'in my happy place' is not working, obviously...but, where is a good place to look for an understanding mental health professional? I know I need help.

Sligo177

Hi satchbee,

You do need support, you are suffering and deserving relief and understanding!  With my DH, he was offered appointments with a social worker at the memory clinic, which we did take advantage of.  But also, it is open to the spouse or caregiver.   I make an appointment with her also occasionally.  I wonder if there is anyone connected with your LO's care who you can talk with....praying for you.

abc123

Dear Satchbee,

I am also looking for that kind of help. I want a therapist I can sit down with and talk. A friend of mine has an on-line therapist that she swears by. I don't know how it works but she did tell me it's expensive.

Yesterday I spent an hour with the hospice therapist. It helped me a little because she understood my feelings because she's experiencing much of the same with her elderly father. I also spent and hour and a half with the hospice pastor. He helped me a lot. He did most of the talking and it was if he had a list of all my feelings and problems. Everything he talked about was something that I would have asked him about. It was amazing. 

I'm not sure I like your previous therapist. I can't imagine telling someone not to indulge in your feelings. I always thought that's how we get better, by addressing our feelings and dealing with them then moving on. I don't think we should wallow in our negative feelings but I think we need to address them. I wish you the best of luck in finding the help that you are seeking. I admire you for wanting to get better. There is nothing easy about this disease. Please keep posting!

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Scooterr

    Satchbee first thing please stop thinking of the Oxy on the selves, the relief you feel from that is false, and very dangerous. I can feel your pain in your post. I'm certainly no therapist, but when things aren't going  good I always come to this forum. This forum has a lot of knowledgeable people who have help me a lot. 

  Sometimes quiet time is not good for a individual, I should say total isolation may not be good for your soul. It's tough going full throttle then totally shutting down. For me I have to ease into it,  when I get my alone time (which is not to often) I mainly work around the house, or help my friends, which I enjoy.

   Sometimes this "happy place" is hard to find, and we have to work to get there. I truly believe this, you are a caregiver just like the rest of us on this forum. Caregivers have a special strength that comes from this agonizing journey, but we wake every morning hoping today will be better than tomorrow. Today maybe rough, but we live for the hope it will be better.

    I learned an old saying, I would to my kids when they were growing up and time would get tough, "Throw us to the wolves and we will return leading the pack." We caregivers had been throw to the wolves by this agonizing journey, but we have the strength and hope, to get out of bed everyday, take the lead, and to take on what ever crap the world throws at us. Stay Strong.

     

John1965

Get rid of the Oxy. Watch Dopesick on Hulu. The daughter of a good friend died from Oxy addiction. Not worth the very real risk.

jmlarue

By any chance, are you a veteran? If so, there are mental health services available to you even if you've never claimed any VA benefits in the past. If not a veteran, you should be able to get referral to mental health specialist through your primary care doctor. Call your doctor and make it clear that you need to be seen urgently for a mental health crisis. If all else fails to get quick response, call this resource and tell them about "eyeing the Oxy on the shelf." Pretty sure you'll get a quick referral here:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If you or someone you know is suicidal or in emotional distress, contact the . Trained crisis workers are available to talk 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your confidential and toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in the Lifeline national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Ed1937

Satchbee, please follow the link from jmlarue to the national suicide prevention lifeline. They are trained to help people get through the toughest times. I wish you well.