Poo cornerI am so tired

Buggsroo

i haven’t posted lately, I have been quite overwhelmed by work and my husband’s care.

The geriatric psychiatrist came by and interviewed us together. Seeing my husband through his eyes, I could see how far he has progressed. He couldn’t remember anything he was asked, he told the doctor that we did all kinds of things together, I sat there shaking my head.

One horrific thing that has been happening is that he will defecate in his pants. I find a mound of turds in the kitchen sink. I have taken him off most dairy, I have taken to hiding food so he doesn’t continuously eat and deposit more poo in the sink. I am definitely a member of the blue glove club. I honestly feel there isn’t enough Clorox in the world to clean the sink. 

I cleaned up a mess this morning, then went out this afternoon to get groceries. Upon arriving home, more turds in the sink. I just lost it, it is so disgusting. He just laughs, I clean up his bum on a continuous basis. 

He goes outside in the morning with no pants on. Across the street is a school, it is horrific. I make him put on long pants and then allow him outdoors. 

I am tired of life on poo corner. Mentally exhausted, sad and just grossed out. Thanks for letting me rant.

June45

Oh Buggs, this is so horrible what you are dealing with. Yes, I can understand what you mean that all the Chlorox in the world won't make you feel the sink is clean.

Joydean

Buggsroo, I have missed you, was wondering if you were okay. Does the psychiatrist know he poops in the sink? There really isn’t enough Clorox to ever make you feel it is clean! I’m so sorry you are having to deal with that. I know you are still working all the time too. Really hope you get some time for yourself! Also hope the psychiatrist can/will help.

60 falcon

I can't imagine.  Does he hop up and sit there or does he just put it there with his hand?  My first thought was maybe you can cover the sink with something like a extra large cutting board.  Or maybe you could try lining the sink with a few pieces of foil or plastic wrap to make clean-up little less messy?  

I'd lose it too.

Gig Harbor

I would lose it every time it happened. Is placement an option at all? I can’t imagine how you deal with this on a daily basis. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

Buggsroo

My husband poos in his pants, he scoops the turds out of his underwear and puts it in the sink. I have the nose of a bloodhound and know the poo smell well. I believe placement is on the horizon but not quite yet. Thanks everyone, I am sorry to say my sense of humour failed me today.

Gig Harbor

I would be in trouble at your house. This is the second time I have lost my sense of taste and smell since Covid started without ever feeling sick. I would not be able to smell poo at all and it would be a rude surprise.

jmlarue

This has been such an unrelenting  horror. I can't imagine how you're holding yourself together. The incontinence issue is an absolute last straw for me. I can't - I won't - deal with it. I'd be beating down the doors to get him placed in care. No one should have to live like that.

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harshedbuzz

I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

The Buck and Buck onesie garments would prevent him from undressing or accessing the contents of his Depends. Toileting him after meals might reduce the incidents as well. 

For many camels, incontinence is the straw that snapped and leads to placement.

ladyzetta

Dear Buggsroo.

I am so sorry you're having to deal with this. I placed my DH when he became incontinent, I tried to clean up after him, but I just could not do it. I am not sure how you can stop him from going out of the house necked, but that is a big problem if your neighbors should report it.

If your DH is taking the poop out of his depends with his hands, just think of all the places his hands may have touched. This is very unsafe for both of you. You have done and are still taking good care of your DH, but you also need to take care of yourself. Please do. 

Hugs Zetta 

Gig Harbor

That’s true Zetta. My friend has a husband who takes off dirty depends and never washes his hands. She is constantly wiping down counters and cabinets with bleach. In three years of doing this no one has gotten sick so that is a good thing.

Buggsroo

Thanks everyone.

I came home after visiting my 89 year old mother, she knows about the poo corner thing. We laughed ruefully at that.

I came home to a few more turds in the drain, plus he had helped himself to my French cheese double crème, I think I was more pissed about that. I used janitor in a drum to clean the drain, then I used Clorox cleaner to scrub out the sink. I have more Clorox cleaners than most. I use it daily and clean everywhere he has been. I am now hiding food so he won’t find it. 

I plan to phone my social worker this week and start the process for placement. I really don’t think I can handle any more of this.

ladyzetta

((((Dear Buggs )))

Please do call your social worker. You have given it your best. You have done way more then what I could have done. And I gave it my best, we did our best. Its time for you to take care of yourself. Once my DH was placed the MC became my second home, I was there everyday. The care he got there was far better then what I was capable of doing. The care was given with a lot of love. He was there 2 years before he passed away. 

Hugs Zetta 

Pat6177

If I remember correctly, you live in Canada. How long do you think the placement process will take? I’m sorry it’s gotten so hard.

Lills

Oh, I'm so sorry!  Just when you think you've already experienced it all... 

Have you tried putting buckets in both sides of the sink?  Do you think he'd 'use' it?  Then naive me, I'd try to have him help carry the bucket to the toilet to be emptied....  nice try, right?  

  

Ed1937

Buggsroo, I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. I hope you can find a place for him soon. That's more than anyone should deal with. Prayers coming your way.

Buggsroo

Thank you everyone. 

Yes I live in Canada. I am also waiting on a letter from the geriatric psychiatrist who saw him so I can enact the poa and start the placement process. The doc took him off the rispiridone which I think is a mistake. There are all kinds of things I have to do, this disease is moving very fast. I find I am living on trail mix, double crème Brie and crackers as well as banana chips. Smoothies as well. Just nothing that involves the sink unless I am washing up the dishes. Thank you all for your concern.

ImMaggieMae

I am so sorry to hear you are having to deal with this. I wish I could think of some deterrent or solution. Did the geriatric psychiatrist give a reason for taking him off the rispiradone? That’s the one thing that seems to helped my DH a lot with agitation and o/c behaviors. His symptoms have been moving very fast too.