Now i am lonely

ChrisVoorhis

Finally gave my DW to a great MC place last Wed. She escaped on Sat into a locked room so they lost her briefly, police came by here looking for her, broke my heart. Next day Sun she escaped from the facility altogether, however they were with her, 2 nurses and a security person stayed by her and tried to coax her back w/o forcing her. Finally called here to get my daughter to come coax her into car. She went in car for my daughter but i would have just brought her home. Now she seems to be befriending the nurse there a little hope she makes it thru the transition period, this is killing me. I am 73 been joined at the hip with my wife for 50 years. I have never been alone, am scared and dont know what to do. If you post me a reply how do i get back to you w/o posting to everyone.

terei

Your wife has not had nearly enough time to acclimate to her new surroundings.   Your reasons for placing her were well thought out, I am sure.   Let the staff figure out how best to handle her and YOU start getting a life back.

Find a morning coffee group.   Check out the local senior center.   If there is one, they will have many opportunities for getting to know people and/volunteering.  Go to the library + find out if they need help.  Start to golf or play pickleball.  If you need support, check for local support groups, possibly through a church.

Your wife is in good hands.   Start trying to have a good time + keep busy for now.

60 falcon

Hi Chris.  If you want to privately connect with someone, click on their screen name and that will take you to their profile.  From their profile you can click on "invite" to send them an invite that's like a friend request.  When you click on the three bars at the top left of the screen, it takes you to the main menu where you can access your inbox.  That's where you can see if the person accepted your invite and also where you can send each other private messages.  Check your inbox because I sent you an invite so you can see how it works. (I hope I got all that right.)

Sorry you're having a tough time.

Jeff86

I am so sorry, Chris, that so far the adjustment has been challenging for both of you.  No question you both need more time to adapt to your changed circumstances.  You’ve made what’s probably the most difficult decision spouse/partner caregivers make.  Your reasoning and your determination were sound; now you need to let it play out.  

I hope the transition gets easier, very soon.

Ed1937

Chris, I totally understand where you are coming from. I'm really sorry it is so hard, and I hope you are able to give it enough time for her to settle in.

David J

Chris- 

As others have said, there is always an acclimation period. My wife has been in the MCF for 8 months now, and she is happy and shows affection for the staff and residents. She is non-verbal, but will hug or pat them on the shoulder. My wife is a walker, and tries all the doors. When they alarm, she backs off. She has charged the main door when others are going through it, but has only managed to get to the lobby. Since the receptionist or other staff is always in the lobby, they escort her back in. 

I’m curious how your wife is getting out. Don’t they have locks and alarms?

Ernie123

Chris: I understand totally what you feel and how helpless you feel. I placed my DW three years ago and I am still lonely but I know it was done in her best interest and mine. Similar to you we have been married 54 years, never apart.  My suggestion is to seek out a support group sponsored by your local Alzheimer’s Society. Similar to this forum you will connect with others sharing your experience. The support group I have met with for about five years has been the main source of strength  and advice I have relied on to get through the stress and grief of placing my DW.