New to the Group(4)

Doug C

Greetings all.

I was very glad to find this group.

My wife Alzheimer`s & just turned 60 last week. She was diagnosed about 3 years ago & so much has changed over that time. She recognizes a lot of people, but could probably only name 2 or 3. She does not even know the name of our infant grandson.

I just got her a GPS watch a month or so ago. She started wandering away. I had 2 scary incidents

I try not to look down the road too much. It can be depressing. I know what`s coming. It is pretty much a question of just when

 Hope to learn a thing or two from you good people

Thanks for reading this.

Scooterr

Welcome Doug C, glad you found us. Sounds like your DW and my DW wife are close in the same stages. This is a great forum, I've been on here a couple of months, there's a lot of good people on this forum with a lot of good advise. They've helped me some much. Again welcome

toolbeltexpert

Doug C welcome to the forum. Alzheimers and related dementia are steady in one aspect. CHANGE! Like Scooterr I have learned a lot on here. Just knowing others have similar issues is a comfort. Not that any of the pain Alzheimers causes is a comfort, but sometimes it helps when you think your about to go crazy. When I realize what my dw is experiencing is real for her. Sorry for the reason you had to find the forum.

Ed1937

Welcome, Doug. I wish we were on a woodworking or a gardening forum, instead of one that nobody wants to belong to. But it's a good forum, and you will get a lot of understanding that is hard to find in the real world. 

Just about anything is an accepted topic, so post about anything you want.

Jeff86

Adding my welcome to others, Doug, and sorry you have reason to be here.  

That said, this is the most knowledgeable, generous, sympathetic community anywhere.   You will learn a great deal, and have access to a tremendous group of spouse/partner caregivers who have been there, done that.  Welcome, fellow traveler.  

Gig Harbor

Welcome Doug. Sorry you have to be here. The one suggestion I have is as soon as you need to get your wife used to having a caregiver come in during the day so that you can leave and have a bit of a normal life. If you wait too long some get paranoid and don’t respond well or at all to a caregiver. Make up a story that the local college or hospital has a training program to train caregivers to help people in their homes. Say that before they can stay with sick people they need some “normal” people to help them learn the job. If you can find someone who is a fit for your wife she will likely become a friend to her and it will make your life so much easier. I found two ladies on a Facebook job site for our town. I was able to look back at their posts to see what they were like and one even knew one of my friends. They walk with my husband, fix lunch, play music and just give him 4 hours of undivided attention. He lights up when they arrive and so do I.

Inden Mom

Hi Doug. Welcome. I am also new in this forum and like you, thankful to have found a portal where we can lean on for suggestions/advises or even just to vent. 

Wish you well.

Kenzie56

Hi Doug, welcome.  About 6 weeks ago I woke up to my neighbor calling at 6:00 am that my DH was walking down the street in his gym shorts and t-shirt.  I never thought he would just walk out the door, but he did. I had been up all night with him roaming. I had my alarm chimes on - but must have just passed our from sleep deprivation and didn't hear them chime when he opened the door. I rounded up some neighbors and we formed a search party.  Found him and immediately I searched for additional locks to put on all exterior doors.  They are wonderful and since I have them, I have been able to sleep much better and actually take a soaking bath knowing he is at least still in the house.  I don't know how to make the link active, but if you copy and paste the link below, you'll get to one of many stores that sell them.  My DH doesn't even see the locks - which is great.  They blend into the doorframe. They are easy for me to unlock in a hurry - but not for him. I got this tip from another forum member - this is such a great place to go when your day turns upside down.

https://www.alzstore.com/confounding-door-lock-p/0247.htm?utm_source=google&utm_campaign=High Priority - PLA&utm_medium=pla 

Joydean

Hi Doug and welcome. I will agree with what so many others have said, there is some really great people on this forum. I have learned a lot from them. I know you will too.

Ideaman

I am dipping my toe into this world as of today. My LO has been developing short term memory lapses repeatedly asking the same question or making the same statement a number of times over a relatively short span. And about an hour ago, I mentioned our wedding anniversary coming in a couple of days and I was shocked when she admitted that she did not remember the date. This situation has been slowly developing over the past year or so but has accelerated in the last few months.

She has struggled with Covid isolation the past two years living in fear all the time and lonliness not being able to spend time with family and friends. She has spent all this isolation time on her bed, in the same position for hours, reading her iPad. I am wondering if she is suffering from Pandemic brain, a condition where the brain loses cognitive abilty due to inactivity. Yes, I am probably grasping for less scary root cause.

I am going to call tomorrow to set up an appointment at the Penn Memory Center. My guess is that it may take a month or longer before we can see someone to get a full work up and diagnosis. In the meantime, I am open to any thoughts/ideas from the group.

Since this totally new for me, I want handle this well from the jump. I don't even know how to broach this topic with my wife. I don't want to scare her but I do believe she needs to know the truth about my observations while assuring her that my care will keep her safe.

jmlarue

Ideaman - You're on the right path to begin seeking answers. The one thing you must do while you wait for doctors is to consult with a Certified Elder Law Attorney. You absolutely need to have a Durable Power of Attorney for health care and a Durable Power of Attorney for finances. Those, at the least, will help to protect your access to finances and to advocated for your wife's medical care when she is no longer competent. You need to get these done while your wife is still capable of granting these powers to you. I was able to convince my DH of the necessity by offering to sign the Durable Powers of Attorney to him, too. I explained that it was confirmation of our mutual trust and would guarantee that we could speak for one another if something should happen that we couldn't speak for ourselves. If there's anything that I've done absolutely right throughout this dementia journey, that is it. It's one of the first things I did before my DH received his diagnosis. Believe me when I tell you that without those documents you will face enormous roadblocks that are virtually impossible to tear down from every medical or financial entity. Please don't delay getting this done. It really is vital.

Crushed

Folks please please please please

Fill in your profile with ages dependents and what STATE you live in  
 
 Almost all practical help with medicaid etc we can give you depends on those facts

Don't put it in a post put it in your Profile  

Jeff86

Idea man — sorry for the observations of your DW and the concerns that bring you here.   You absolutely do need a diagnosis to know what you’re dealing with.  But a word of caution—your DW may or may not need to know, and may or may not accept the dx if there is one.  You can read up both here and on the internet about anosognosia.

Ed1937

Ideaman, welcome aboard. Sorry you need to be here. Jmlarue's post is one that you should put at the top of your list. It sounds like you have no time to waste with it. It really is a necessary thing to do. Now!

Gig Harbor

Hi Ideaman,

Lots of good ideas presented. Is your wife on an antidepressant? If not this might be something to ask her doctor about. Sitting on her bed for hours a day could be caused by depression and if she has Alzheimer’s it adds to the problem. Do you get her out of the house each day? Often we plan all our errands for one day but getting out each day to do one thing might be helpful. Can you plan coffee dates with friends? Short frequent meetups might help her get more involved with life again. Until you are able to get a diagnosis these are some things you can try. One thing that was recommended to me was to keep a journal. I didn’t do it but now I wish I had. Definitely start writing down things you see her doing that are out of character because you may not remember them when you see a specialist. Good luck to you both.

daisyflops22

Welcome Ideaman. I echo what others have advised. And I add this: do make a list of the things you observe that are not typical. The information can be valuable for the neurologist and others on the team. It becomes part of your LO's 'baseline.' 

My LO and I talked about the list I made before his first appointment. There were a couple of things he didn't realize were happening. So that was a chance for us to really talk openly about it all. Dr's will be looking to you for answers, as well. I did some research ahead of time and had questions with me. It took us two months to get an initial appointment. And the tests took a while to get scheduled due to required pre-approvals by the insurance company.

As I'm learning, there's alot to manage and it can be overwhelming and frustrating and upsetting. Your new forum friends are here for you.

Ideaman

Sorry for the delayed response. Been very distracted preparing for a new life for my DW, my kids and me. Thanks very much for the advice. We prepared all the legal docs you mentioned years ago. Setting up appointment with elder care attorney now to make sure they are up to date specifically with the AD needs and outcome. Much appreciated!

Ideaman

Sorry for the delayed response. Been very distracted preparing for a new life for my DW, my kids and me. Thanks very much for the advice. I have taken your advice. Much appreciated!