A new thread from Jack in WN

Ed1937

When do I know it's time to consider a qualified dementia facility? My wife's anger  and verbal abuse towards me is increasing , especially late afternoons and evenings. This is Jack's first post.

Ed1937

Welcome to the forum, Jack. Sorry you need to be here, but you've found a good place for companionship, understanding, and receiving suggestions.

It sounds like sundowning when it comes at that time of the day. You should get plenty of replies to that because it is pretty common.

In my opinion, it is never too early to start seeing what is available for her. If you have something set up, when the time comes, it should be much easier to get her accepted. I think it is time to consider placement when it becomes a threat to either of your health. Dangerous conditions and mental health concerns that are not addressed are good reasons to consider.

JoseyWales

Ed nailed it. When you find yourself ignoring your own medical issues, when you find that keeping your spouse safe is becoming difficult, when your patience is stretched too thin too often.... all those are signs.

With that said, medication changes can help with some of the behavior and allow you to keep her at home longer.

Stuck in the middle

Welcome to the club, Jack.

I think, if you are thinking about placement, it is not too soon to start visiting memory care facilities and making a selection.  Sorry you are having this trouble.

Stuck in the middle

I just read your profile, should have done that first.

If you can't leave your wife home alone, she is already in care.  If she needs help to do activities of daily living (bathing, dressing, eating, etc.) she is already in care.  If you struggle to provide the needed care and supervision at home, even with paid assistance, it is time to look for more help.  

In your shoes, I would be shopping for a qualified care facility.