Advice to get mom to move

LittleAl

I am needing to move a LO who has ES FTD into MC and I need advice on how to get mom to walk in the door.  She is aware of her surroundings and can navigate/stand on her feet just fine.

I am a daughter who lives out of state and have been a remote caregiver for mom the last 2-3 years, traveling home every 6 weeks to look after her.  She is living in a home, alone, with unsanitary conditions with poor hygiene and needs to move.  She will not allow me to bring in hired help, and fired repeated help hired.  We have been discussing ALF the last 2 years and finally she started attending tours with me the last 6 months.  This last trip home in May, she confirmed she was ready to move and said positive things about the facility after our tour.  We had a great experience at the selected AL location, reviewed agreement together, she knew movers were coming, she allowed boxes to be packed.  

She had a change of mind on move day and said I am not moving to that location.  She had an impression that she would be seriously harmed (or killed) if she moved there and choose to remain in her home which is rodent infested and not a safe, healthy environment.  She had an episode that she did not believe I was her daughter.

I just need a reason for mom to get in the car and go back with me and walk through the door with her paranoia.  Because she resisted the move, the facility will no longer place her in AL but in MC.  Now, better understanding her resistance and her inability to receive medical care or take medication, this is best for her.

jmlarue

How is her concept of day and time? If she has difficulty remembering what happened yesterday or what day it is today, you may be able to convince her that this move is a temporary trial to see how she likes it. If you can get her to commit to just a two week trial, you might be successful getting her in the door. If she tells you that she wants to go home the next day, you could remind her that she agreed to give it two weeks before she makes the decision to leave. "Just give it a few more days, Mom. Let's see how you feel about staying next Friday." With luck, you'll be able to distract her from leaving indefinitely. Once she's inside, other fiblets like, "You can't move back home until the pest control people get rid of the rats. It'll probably take another week.," or "I discovered the toilet is leaking sewage. It's going to take a few weeks to get the plumber to do the job." Whatever story you need to come up with is fair play when working with a PWD.