Tears from a Child

Scooterr

   Last Friday DW and I had the privilege of picking up our grand-daughters, ages 8 and 10, from school. When they loaded up into the truck I (Papa) asked them, "what do you girls want to do?" They responded, "go get ice cream and go to the park." I  was hoping they would have left the ice cream part out, simply because of DW's (Nana) issues. Come hell or high water Papa was going to get my girls some ice cream. So I picked out the smallest ice cream shop and less crowded. We go in get our ice cream and finish up. When we started to leave Nana decided she needs to go to the restroom. The oldest grand-daughter who is aware Nana has some issues takes it upon herself to escort Nana to the restroom. When they both came out of the restroom my grand-daughter informs me, "Papa I have  something to tell you later." I could see it wasn't going to be good.

  Once at the park the youngest grand-daughter and Nana go over to the swings and began swinging. I go and sit on a park bench followed by our oldest. She wraps her little arms around me with tears running down her face. I ask, "baby what's wrong?" "Papa when me and Nana was in the restroom Nana started throwing water at the mirror saying I'm going to get you." My DW who doesn't recognize herself anymore in a mirror and can't tolerate her reflection was having a moment (all our mirrors are down in our house, but one in my closet).  I asked my grand-daughter, "what did you do?" She replied, "I just grabbed her belt loop and pulled her away." "Did it scare you?" I ask. "A little," she replied. This was the first time she had seen her Nana to this extreme one I'm sure she will remember the rest of her life.  She looked at me with tears still running down her face and said in her sweet young voice, "Papa I just  wish they would find a antidote for what ever is wrong with Nana." That's when Papa started tearing up with her, I could feel some much love pouring out of her, it's like our lives had become more woven together by this horrible disease. I know she love's her Nana very much and no child should see these things, but this is our life, this is our family now. Did I mess up by stopping for ice cream? I really don't know, I just wanted to be a Papa for a day.

    

LadyTexan

Dear Scooterr,

What an angel of a grand-daughter you have. She is very mature for her age and definitely has compassion and is quick on her feet. I know a hundred adults that would not have managed that situation one tenth as well as your grand-daughter. She was so very respectful of your DW and very selfless indeed. First by accompanying your DW to the restroom. Second for handling the awkward situation so perfectly. Thirdly by not mentioning it until she had private time with you, beyond the hearing of your DW.

No you did NOT mess up by stopping for ice cream. 

Your grand-daughter cannot un-see what she saw but she will be stronger because of it. Maybe she will grow up to be the researcher that discovers the anti-dote for this dreadful disease.

God bless you and your lovely family.

June45

Your granddaughter is such a lovely and compassionate young lady. I know you are proud of her.

Joe C.

Scooterr, I totally agree with the above comments, your granddaughter is a gem with wisdom beyond her years.

Jo C.

You were and are, beloved "Papa," and your granddaughter is an amazing, compassionate person at a very young age.   She is a blessing and I can imagine how proud you are of her. 

J.

Joydean

Scooterr, as I read I couldn’t help but tear up myself. You did the very perfect thing getting those special girls ice cream! What a great Papa! You are so blessed and they are too. Taking care of her Nana that way showed more maturity and compassion than a lot of so called adults. The special bond she and you shared will always be there. You know forsure you are not alone now! God bless you and your family!

ButterflyWings

Precious.

Mint

Papa did not mess up.  She will not forget her experience with Nana.  That experience taught her many things.  She also will never forget Papa taking her for ice cream.  What a precious granddaughter.

Ed1937

That is one special little girl. It's too bad she had to experience that, but I agree it will make her stronger, and she is not likely to forget that.

No, you didn't mess up. You are a man who cares deeply.

toolbeltexpert

Scooterr your a great papa. You asked all the right questions with your granddaughter. Kids can tell whether your "hear" them.  I share all the others. When one Member hurts we all hurt. Keep on keeping on

Quilting brings calm

No you did not mess up.  Your granddaughter already understands your wife has issues. She went to the bathroom knowing this. It’s a new symptom to her, but she handled it well- pulling her away and getting her moving.  She may grow up to be a first responder or a medical professional with instincts like that.  We can’t protect our children from every negative aspect of life- if we did they wouldn’t know how to handle adulting. However, parents do rightly protect them from a lot( drugs for example).

Your offspring know what is going on.  They will let you know what they think is too much for your granddaughters 

abc123

You did NOT mess up. Lady Texan expressed my feelings perfectly. 

Scooterr, YOU are a great Papa! Has anyone talked to her about dementia? It might be time to tell her a little bit about it.

Pam BH

Scooter, I know you can't see the forest for the trees because your heart is hurting for your DW, your granddaughter, and you.  But you and your granddaughter did the most perfect things in that situation and you should be proud of yourself as well as her.  Your love for your DW and your granddaughters overrode the situation and it's beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

JoseyWales

Adding to the chorus of "you didn't mess up."

I honestly feel that this incident is going to help your granddaughter be a more compassionate person as she gets older. She's going to be one of the few who "gets it". And who knows... maybe she'll go on to be the one who finds a cure for this disease.

Jeff86

What a moving story, full of compassion and kindness.  You all are a wonderful, loving family.  Thank you for sharing this compelling incident.

Scooterr

THANK YOU guys for your wonderful response about my grand-daughter. I shared your responses with her. My grand-daughter as she blushed asked if  I would tell you guys, "thank you and it makes me fill so proud of myself to help people." So Thank you again from the heart of a child. By the way there's an excellent book  my son and daughter-in-law has read to our grand-daughters, it's by Kathryn Harrison called Weed's in Nana's Garden. It's a great book to explain Alzheimer's and other dementia.