What was the first symptom that really floored you?

Arrowhead

My wife has always loved to cook. She is famous for her lasagna. She mostly did it from her head, but one day I wrote it all down. It hit me hard the day she couldn't follow the directions to make her own lasagna. She was 62.

CStrope

Like everyone else, there were so many little signs that were explained away in the years prior to diagnosis.  But I think the incident that has shocked me the most happened just recently.  My husband has dupuytren's contracture and had surgery on both hands 20+ years ago.  His pinky fingers on both hands have contracted again and are permanently in a curved position, along with issues with some of his other fingers.  He showed me his hands the other day and said "what did I do to my hands to make them like this"?  I understand and expect his short term memory to be horrible, and I'm always surprised at how much he does know, but I guess I always assumed that like so many other Alzheimer's patients, the memories from long ago would be the last to disappear.  He will often ask me questions about my younger days, or family questions, but yet he can still talk about some things from last year or 5 years ago. He does not remember the names of our parents or siblings, but can remember which stream he caught a nice trout in a few years ago.

daisyflops22

You know, it's little things you shrug off until they become problems. Constantly losing his wallet as in never finding it and having to get things cancelled and reissued, meltdowns over not being able to type, write legibly or recognize numbers on his phone. Also, his personality was changing. He became easily agitated and abrupt, lost interest in eating, and had trouble forming coherent sentences; literally at a loss for words. My gut knew something was very wrong.

LeBret

There came a day when my wife, who spoke three languages, and has Master's Degree could not write her name anymore ...

Davegrant

Ed, 

I had a similar experience in 2017 when my dw was standing at the counter fixing supper which was a very familiar sight, but she was not moving, and I asked what the matter and she said, "I don't know what to do next" Since that time I do all meal preparation except for one food item.  Last week I had been asking her to make some jello and she agreed but I observed that she had no clue about how to do it. I had her help me as I followed the directions on the box. Both incidences are frozen in my mind five years apart. 

Dave

Jo C.

My LOs changes began much more subtly and we all missed some of them thinking it was just more over the top behaviors rather than knowing it was by far something else. She was historically a good person, but not always the easiest of personalities, so we missed some of the earliest signs.  

My LO began to more often "act out" her wishes or discomfort.  Too cold in the car?  Instead of asking the AC to be adjusted, she grabbed the front of her blouse, rocked back and forth loudly exclaiming, "Oooh, ahhh, OOOH, OOOOH."   Same with any noise from TV or radio that seemed to be too loud.  Music of any sort suddenly seemed to get her going - once again, OOOH, OOOH, OOOOOH, while covering her ears.  In fact, all of us close to her thought it was just her being her once again; as said, she wasn't the easiest personality.  How bad I feel about our lack of recognition now, but she was still doing okay in other areas.

At Christmas, one of the gifts I gave her was a book by an author she really enjoyed reading and I knew she would really love it.  Instead, when I visited a week later, she literally threw the book at me stating, "What a stupid book, really stupid, why did you give me something so stupid?"  What????   How odd - but then she was her usual self and calmed right down not missing a beat.  What I now know it was, was that she was unable to track and comprehend  the written word.   Yet, she was okay with some other things.  How did I miss that, I came to wonder later. So subtle.

I also noticed she began to not cook as she always had, and enjoyed doing, but she always had excuses as to why she did not want to be in the kitchen; "I'm sick and tired of cooking."  That too passed by me.  Fact was, she could not remember a lot of how she did various things, but again; it was so subtle. She was able to cover that up and her husband was clueless.

Then one day after work, I went to visit and she was sitting in the den with her husband; she seemed extremely worried looking and her facial expression was indicating great upset.   When I spoke with her and asked if something was wrong, she told me. She had always managed all the money, banking and bill paying but . . . . she brought out the checkbook; she told me she did not know what was wrong, but it was all mixed up . . . it certainly was.  She also said she had bills and "envelopes" she was not sure what to do with.  Oh my gosh, multiple paper sacks of envelopes hidden behind her chair. I put everything into a cardboard box and took it home.  It took hours to go through it all. Bills not paid, bills paid two and three times, checkbook a mish-mash of inked over errors.  Homeowners insurance cancelled due to lack of payment; so much discord.  Took me quite awhile to straighten it out and in the process recovered $8,000 of funds paid out that did not need to be!  That was it - big time signs of major issue - likely earliest stage of dementia.

She also had a large square calendar which she kept at the side of her chair and it was like the most important thing to her to have it nearby.   We thought it was Mom's version of a day planner; but after things became evident, we now know that is how she kept her days and appointments and other things straight as she was becoming more compromised. Again, she was good at covering. Subtle.

Later, I found she had hidden several thousand dollars cash in the bottom of her in-cupboard laundry hamper.  None of us had seen any of this; she had hidden it very well.  She must have had an inkling of being off  kilter, but did not have the insight as to how much was wrong.  She was still doing so much that was okay.   She was initially misdiagnosed by her Geriatrician as having Alzheimer's Disease, but the symptoms were not fitting. I finally got her to a good Neurologist and after exam and SPECT Scan, there it was - she had a behavioral variant of FTD which enabled her to keep more memory and ability for more complex matters off and on for a longer time.

Far later, as in months after diagnosis, and all that entailed, she complained about her good flatware being stolen; all of it gone.  She loved her good flatware, I thought she was imagining it delusionally.  I went to her home and searched high and low, under and over and inside everything I could think of.  It was gone.  NOTE:  This disappearance would have happened long before we knew she had dementia.

Later, I was cleaning her kitchen and there was one drawer that pulled waaaaaaay out and I do mean waaaaaay out.  When I got to the very back of it, there were multiple bundles rolled in rags and closed tightly with rubber bands. I pulled out the multiple bundles and there was all her good flatware; she had hidden it - to keep it "safe," I would imagine. She had no recall of doing that whatsoever.

So many little, tiny things at intervals for about several years before it became overtly evident by any of us; me, her husband, my brother, her friends, etc. that she had dementia.

So very sad. Then the long journey began of her leaving but still present, and once again, sadness reigned.

During the same time, her husband, my step-dad, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  And my DHs mother and GMIL were also both diagnosed with Alz's.  I am an RN with much experience, but when dementia hits in one's own home, it is far, far different from the clinical knowledge and clinical setting and that is a huge understatement.

J.

Crushed

Just for fun
Ive told this story before but we need a little humor in this thread  
 
DW comes down to breakfast  

DW Did I have sex last night ? 

Me   Yes  

DW  Was it with you ?

Me  Yes  
 
DW  good.... I was worried