It seemed to be going pretty well

Ed1937

Unless there's at least reason to suspect I should go into the bathroom with my wife when she uses the toilet, I stay near, but outside the bathroom door. Today seemed to be pretty good, so I waited outside the door. Then I heard the toilet flush. Then it flushed again, and again. My thought was "What is she trying to flush?". So I went in. There she was with feces on her hands and the floor, and she was washing her hands ........... in the toilet! Arrrrrrgh! Tomorrow is a new day.

toolbeltexpert

Hard as you try you think everything is good, it always seems so unexpected. Your a trooper Ed and I don't know how you do it.

jfkoc

I think I would sit on the side of the bathtub or maybe pretend to be cleaning it. Do at least crack the door to see what is going on.

And.....keep that spray bottle of hydrogin peroxide at the ready.

Buggsroo

Ed,

Feeling you here from the House at Poo Corner. This morning as every morning I find turds in the sink. I advise you to get some Clorox and clean the areas where poo lurks. My husband likes to handle things after he has erm made a deposit. So I clean like a madman, retracing his steps and sanitizing as I go. 

Get your wife some nice toilet (pun intended) and get her to wash her hands after using the loo. Good luck.

Crkddy

Sounds familiar.  I've taken over all of the toilet paper duty for my DW.  I wait outside the door until she's finished with the drop, and then go in for the cleanup.

June45

Ed1937 wrote:

 Arrrrrrgh!

Ed...that would be my exact first reaction. But I as I think about it, I feel a profound sadness that this disease takes away so much from our loved ones and we have to witness it every single day.

KathyF1

Ed, I have to admit your post shocked me! You are amazing. My DH is not “there” yet. The most I have to complain about is the shadowing and the constant questions. Can I ask- are the toilet issues something that is inevitable?

Rick4407

Kathy, I'll respond.  While the journey is variable for each some things seem to be constant.  Toileting issues are at the end of stage 6.  Tam Cummings created what is called a Dementia Behavioral Assessment Tool (DBAT).   It is detailed list of losses suffered by most if not all.  I would guess you can google and print a copy, it will serve as a general guide to where you are in the journey. 

I've used it as a checklist for the last several years so that I can have some idea of what's next and when it might arrive.  It includes estimated durations as well.  Good luck, Rick      

ButterflyWings

Here is the DBAT tool Rick mentioned. Hang in there, everyone.

http://txccc.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/tam_cummings_llc_dbat_v4.pdf

Lynne D

Agh,,geese Ed. I am not brave enough to go in “during” but see disturbing aftermath that must be cleaned up. It is scary, to think of all the places those hands touch.

Thanks, ButterflyWings, for the DBAT.

When do you request a hospice evaluation?

Beachfan

Ed,

Arrrrrrrrgh is right!  “Lurking” outside the bathroom door works well, until it doesn’t.  When I placed DH in a MCF in November, I realized that for at least 6 years prior (maybe more), DH had never used any toilet independently.  I always accompanied him, start to finish, me, just me, no one else- - 24/7.  It’s no wonder, in my mind, he remained “continent”; I didn’t allow otherwise.  Within one week at the MCF, he was in Depends and I was slightly miffed. (He never used Depends at home).  A sweet caregiver gently explained that the Depends were a safeguard since no one was attached to DH at the hip to preempt any accidents.  He still stays mostly dry and unsoiled, but doesn’t indicate the need to use the toilet, nor does he know what to do once there.  Staff have caught on to his schedule, but Depends are a safety net. I hope today is a better day going forward.  You, Mayor Ed, are a saint!     

Scooterr

Your right Ed tomorrow is a new day, all we can do is hope and pray it's better than yesterday. Your a good husband, and a strong man.

ImMaggieMae

Sh&t happens. We’ve had a few episodes like this since this past Nov when the incontinence started, but they are few and far between. My sister (his other caregiver) or I usually accompany him into the bathroom. One of us is with him 24/7. He doesn’t really like to be alone these days. He wears depends all the time. In fact, he almost always asks us to go into the bathroom with him. He rarely has bowel accidents, but has lots of urinary. The poop episodes only happen in the bathroom. I think it’s because his brain sends him false signals about when he has to go. So there are lots of false alarms and sometimes I think the frequent trips into the bathroom are a compulsive behavior. This isn’t him. This is the disease. I’ve cleaned up so much dog and cat poo over the years that the poo itself isn’t that big of a deal deal, it’s his embarrassment that crushes me.

That said, if the kitchen sink were involved, like with Buggsroo’s DH, that would be more upsetting.