Not Knowing People Transition

clkspace

My DW has been seeing a neurologist for 6 years and had a neuropsych diagnosis of dementia/AD 4 years ago.  One current aspect is that she does not know close family and friends by name at all.  The person may have been with her a few moments prior.  Usually, a picture is enough to get recognition and almost always she knows people when they are in her presence.

I know this will transition to not know people when she is with them.  My question is how quickly this is likely to happen.  I'm sure it depends.  I am curious how fast this has happened for other people.  I'm just trying to prepare for that next stage.

Thanks

May flowers

Everyone will probably be different but my FIL started not being able to recognize people in the same room about a year ago, around the time he was not remembering grandkids and kids (not with him) about 50% of the time. 6 months later he recognized family in his presence about 50% of the time. A year later he recognizes us maybe once every few weeks. But we had a surgery in January which affected his abilities a great deal. Hope that helps.

clkspace

Thanks for the data point.  It is so hard to plan ahead when you cannot tell how and when things change.

Papa Bill

I seem to have a a combination of my wife just forgetting people and forthcoming family events, appointments, where she had just been earlier in the day and needing to be reminded, yet seemingly when sees the children and grandchildren knows then who they are (out of sight then out of mind). But the frustration really gets to me the times  she thinks that family members are in the house. Often asks "Where are the kids?," who have been long out of the house, married with families of their own for over 20 years.  Sets the dinner table for them. Then she often thinks I am her father and converse with me as such. Her father never lived in our Stat and passed over 20 years ago. The same in thinking "Where's Mom?  Where did she go without letting me know?", who passed away 6 years ago, Our the topper is at night when she thinks I am someone else or her father and gets adamant and tells me to sleep somewhere else.. It goes on and one and one and I am angry, frustrated, helpless with so much, especially with not knowing what to do and hate waking in the morning. Any thoughts and advice so appreciated Thanks for listening

ButterflyWings

Clkspace and PapaBill - welcome though I am sorry you need to join us here. There is much support, experience and good advice here, from many who have been or are going through pretty much anything you may ask about. (PapaBill, you will get more specific feedback if you start a "new topic" to create your own post.) You both have found a great place to learn and share.

Clkspace, it is a revolving door here. Any day can include lots of back and forth in terms of my DH's recognition and being able to correctly identify me or other family members.  What PapaBill said. We are late stages so that is no surprise. Mainly though, for us it is a constantly shifting merry-go-round. It is sad but that doesn't frustrate me at all. PWDs can't help it.

I can't even pinpoint when it "started" because I am realizing some of the coping skills DH was using before AD diagnosis like chatting us up and reading the outside of mail or listening intently to my phone conversations - taking his cue from others to figure out who is who. It is likely he did not know people many times before he started outright asking me, "who was that?, or telling me "these people are nice but I don't really know anybody - when can we leave?" an hour into the last family Thanksgiving before covid...with a dozen people he's known longer than me (20 yr 2nd marriage for both) -- he had been super cordial and covering well with the small group who has no clue to this day, as they still minimize his symptoms. It was his siblings, children, and close cousins. 

For me, the biggest non-recognition shock was when he first asked me where "the other woman" went. I had left the room to get our meal started and learned the hard way that he really didn't know me all the time either. Broke my heart in little pieces that day. Now, I am just happy he likes or tolerates whoever he thinks I am this morning, noon, or night...usually it will be several different identities throughout the day. Also shocked me the first time he confused me with his brother or son (I am clearly a woman, with fairly long hair and may even have been wearing a dress or skirt at the time). When the brain shorts out, it seems to have no rhyme or reason. 

And for my DH anyway, there is an invisible reset button somewhere -- not med related as far as I can tell -- just randomly rewinds to "clear thinking" often, though briefly.  So, just buckle up and good luck to you on this wild ride. 

May flowers

Like Papa Bill and ButterflyWings mentioned, our experience was not a straight line decrease, recognition came and went over the course of a year, but overall downward trend. I just remember that not remembering family who were not around was a while before not recognizing family in person.

He still remembers a few things from his childhood and work… most of what he remembers now was over 50 years ago. 

mommyandme (m&m)

My mother couldn’t pull names out even though she knew the people in the room since stage 5, I think.  She would acknowledge she was mine and my brother’s parent by saying “I made you”… Even into late stage 6, she’d recognize my brother on FaceTime. Now in mid stage 7, she doesn’t recognize him anymore by video, I could tell his heart was broken.  When he was here last in February, it took her some moments to feel comfortable or know him?  She did get friendly and seem to know “she made him” but could not pull his name up. Its been a long time  since name recognition.  Now family must come often so she knows they’re “family”, I think.  I’m no expert.  But out of sight out of mind is definitely a thing, even in person.  Our experience is its a solid issue mid stage 6, but problematic in stage 5.  I think I can say confidently that for us, mid stage 5 to stage 7c has taken about 3 years. 

I’m so sorry you’re here but also glad you came.