much needed vacation

joytoy

I have the opportunity to go on 2 wk. trip with daughter.  been taking care of LO with VD for 4 yrs now.  Only help I have is from a his son who does not do well with his ailing father.  He stays with him once in awhile so I can go over night or sometimes 2 nights to visit with daughter and grandchildren.  I come home to a mess in the house which takes me hours to clean up.  Also LO will badger me all day and night with where I was and who I was with.  Totally delusional and paranoid.  I wonder if its even worth getting away when I have to come home to this.  I am going on this trip no matter what.  I dont care if the house is torn apart and my boyfriend/patient thinks I was with 100 other men.  It makes me so mad cause he can have 2 wks respite in the local nursing home but when I bring it up it turns into a huge fight cause he thinks I am trying to put him away.  Just venting  Love this forum for all us caregivers  you are the only ones that understand

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Paris20

What I have learned throughout this nightmarish ordeal with my husband is that rational thought and behavior are of no consequence anymore. I’m in the midst of a mess with my daughter over my role as caregiver. What adult children do not understand is what caregivers truly experience every day, what it does to us, and what we need as a result. We do the best we can, in our own way, to help our SO get through this. It would be nice if others could understand this but sometimes that doesn’t happen.

marier

I have placed my DH in respite care for two weeks recently, while my home was being remodeled. I spent the time with my sister and we had so so much fun.  It was a much needed rest for me.  

I was worried what this would do to my DH as we have seldom been apart in our 50 year relationship and ten years into this dementia journey. It had little impact on him.

This is how I did it.  I simply packed his bag, placed it in the car the night before, drove to facilitate and walked in with him.  The intake person met us.  I gave DH a hug and said I was going to the bathroom and walked out the door.  I never mentioned what was going to take place.  My DH has not short term memory.  

My DH survived the placement for two weeks, he was happy to see me when I picked him up and he has no memory of the placement.  I wouldn't say he thrived there but he survived and the staff was kind.  I not only survived the two weeks I thrived. It was a much needed rest for me and I am planning another trip soon.