4th move in a year

LJS45

My 87 year old mom was placed in MC last June by her husband who could no longer care for her. That lasted 4 months. The facility was brand new and beautiful but the care was horrible. Short staffed, incorrect med. given, multiple falls with transports to ER/cat scans. So in October she was moved to a residential care facility so she could have better care and be in line of sight. That lasted 10 days. Caregiver complained that my mom was mean, not sleeping at night and she was tired and her back hurt because she would only sleep on the floor. We were told there was night staff, but that was a lie. She would apparently scream and bang on the window, yelling help me. She fell, hit her head and was transported to ER. She was fine but it was discovered she had a UTI. Owner told my mom's husband to find another place. 4 days later he moved her to another RCF. That started out pretty good and in December her husband placed her on hospice. In April she stopped swallowing her food and was placed on a pureed diet. Then staffing shortages started to occur and she was being left in a recliner all day/night, left in the same clothes for days at a time, and developed bed sores on her buttocks and sacrum. She was moved again to another RCF on Monday. Thankfully the bed sores are already healing and I hope and pray this is her last move. I'm so tired of all the lies and deception from caregivers/administrators. I feel so bad for my poor mom. She has declined tremendously since that 1st move in June and she has been so traumatized. She is always on my mind and she deserves to be treated with dignity and respect with the time she has left in this life. I guess I'm just looking for some support in hopes that this will be her last move.

SusanB-dil

Hi LJS - ((hugs))  That's a lot to go through for all of you.  Agree - our LO's do need to be treated with dignity and respect.

M1

That's a horrific story, I'm so sorry.  Just in case you need to think about it:  are there any inpatient hospice facilities near you?  Might be worth inquiring.  Larger cities sometimes have these available for those with no home care options.

​fesk

I am so sorry your mother, you and your family are going through this. What a terrible ordeal. I am hoping this is the last move and your mother can finally get the care she deserves.

May flowers

What a nightmare! I’m so sorry for you and your mom dealing with all of that. My FIL experienced poor care and neglect last year too after a staffing change and then a move to another facility after the first one flooded. I don’t know how much it contributed to his decline, but he was around stage 5/early 6 when we placed him (May 2021) and is stage 7 now (on hospice) after a fall. The UTI/fall/surgery in January definitely contributed, but we noticed in November and December he had a steep decline, (trouble walking, sleeping all day, became incontinent, didn’t recognize us, lost weight). All his ADLs were being neglected and our calls to get him checked for a UTI ignored. We were already considering moving him when all this happened. He is doing better, at least care-wise, here at home.

It is hard enough to place our loved ones, and even harder when this happens. We had picked one of the “premium MCs” with all the bells and whistles. It was great until the staffing changes. The good people who were left were doing the lion’s share of work. 

Anyway, I am glad your mom is getting the care she deserves. Hugs to you too.

LJS45

Thanks SusanB for your reply. I know it has been a while since my post but life has been challenging. Thanks for the hugs!

LJS45

Thanks for the suggestion M1. Unfortunately there are no such facilities in my area. Thank you for your reply.

LJS45

Thank you fesk for your reply. I really appreciate it. We just went through her being impacted and quite uncomfortable. Hard to understand what caused it...lack of care or just that she has become more sedentary. She also had some congestion and weezing last week and hospice prescribed antibiotics and nebulizer treatments. She seems better. I have such a tough time trusting anybody after everything that has occurred. It's a terrible feeling.

LJS45

Thanks May flowers for your reply. Sorry you experienced poor care as well. It sounds like my mom is right where your fil is. She has declined so much over the past year since being placed. She has lost expression, can barely form any words and needs assistance walking but is mainly in a wheelchair. The last time I visited her she weeped and said, "I want to go home" It could have been that she did not feel well, with the congestion and constipation, idk.  I generally hold it together pretty well, but I left that visit with tears in my eyes. I wish she could be at home with her husband, but he refuses to pay for that level of care and he can't care for her himself.

Jo C.

What a sad state of affairs for your poor mother.  I also live in SoCal.  It may be that a RCF is not the best setting for your mother as her 24 hour care needs are complex and she continues to have care failings leading to significant problem issues that can be prevented.

In SoCal, the Residential Care Facilities, (RCF), do not have every year or every two year inspections by RNs from the Department of Health as do MC and NHs.  RCFs are only scanned every FIVE years and done only by a social worker who would not pick up on a lot of clinical issues that clinical staff would be attuned to.   In my opinion,this is a great failing in our state.

Also, in an RCF, the staff do not have to be certified aides and most often are not; the RCFs often "train" their tiny inexperienced staff on the job.   There is not a daily licensed nurse routinely present on staff, most are "on call" IF a need is identified, so a lot can go unaddressed by poorly trained staff who are lacking in knowledge and are not able to recognize and prevent issues which your mother has experienced. 

The only asset in such a situation of what has been experienced is that the cost of the care is lower in dollars; but in some instances, the cost is much higher in human suffering.

In SoCal, there are many facilities whether MC or NH that are staffed by certified aides and have licensed nursing staff present and do ongoing formal care plans based on prevention and need.  It may be that in order to get the level of care needed, that going beyond an RCF setting may perhaps possibl be necessary.  That of course is up to the family and the primary decision maker.

Having an impaction is a horrible, horrible state of affairs and the patient does suffer; skin breakdown is also horribly uncomfortable and can cause infection as well as risk of significant worsening leading to all sorts of issues up to and including death; the lack of cleanliness also brings infection and breakdown risk AND her basic care of her humanity with comfort, emotional needs and dementia management do not seem to have been being met. I am so sorry for her.

In the daytime, the few RCF two or three staff members must care for all the patients in the RCF: they must get them up,bathe, change incontinence supplies, toilet, do all hygiene, take vitals, cook and serve the food and feed those who cannot feed themselves; they must change the beds, do the laundry, dispense meds, move patients about, do the patient room and housecleaning and do all else for all patients and remember, this is often from poorly trained aides who are not certified aides. Then comes nighttime - the staff often falls VERY short and we know that persons with dementia often have significant nighttime needs; so it would be a good idea, if the present RCF does not meet care needs to use a facility as mentioned above. I would also be a bit concerned when negatives exist that the patients may also be more medicated in order to be able to manage everything as well as medicating at night for the same reasons.  That may not be a problem issue at the RCFs you have used, but it is something to really watch out for, especially if a LO seems more confused or compromised than usual.

I realize this is a lot of negative input, but I have run into some of these issues at RCFs.  Some are better than others, but the issues of staffing and capabilities are still issues to be closely monitored.

Hopefully things will be better now for your mother; if there is not an improvement, then one goes back to the drawing board. It may be helpful to begin to screen MCs and NHs near you to see what would work IF that change becomes necessary.

J.

mommyandme (m&m)

Im so sorry for this anguish for you and your mom!  This is what nightmares are made of.  Thanks for sharing and I hope for smoother sailing going forward!

LJS45

Thanks Jo C. for your lengthy reply and explanation about RCF's. I do not have POA, my mom's husband does, so any decisions about where she is placed is his decision. I did hire a Geriatric Case Manager that has RN's on staff and they visit my mom each week and communicate with hospice as well. This current RCF was checked out by her. There are currently 4 residents living there, 2 of which are on hospice. There are 2 caregivers at all times. When she was at the 1st brand new MCF she was basically being left to her own devices in her room unsupervised quite a bit. I would discover all kinds of things when I would visit. I barely saw the same caregiver twice. At one point they had to bring in an agency to supplement caregivers. I hope and pray this is her last move.

LJS45

Thank you M & M for your well wishes. I know this journey is a difficult one for all, but I just hope that my mom is getting the best care. My hands are basically tied because I do not have POA.