To my friends

toolbeltexpert

I would appreciate your prayers for me and my dw. She will be seeing a doctor at 11 tomorrow. 

Yesterday I talked to the her doctors head nurse, and she had already been updated by the doctor. He already knew about my dw. ( BTW the doctor is our neighbor.) The nurse seemed empathic and I could tell this wasn't her first rodeo. I gave them a copy of the dpoa. 

The small knot on her neck got a little worse cause dw thought it needed popping yesterday so it is gonna be the reason she's gonna see the doctor. If she tries to back out when I tell her, I'll tell her there's a 300 nonrefundable charge for doing that. I know her, she won't let that happen.

 I went to the mcf today the one that I like, one I had been involved with when I pastored . I got on the waiting list for the mc unit, I know that head nurse. There prices did in fact go up only a 100, that means the the highest level is 4099 a month.that is personal pay. No Medicaid. To some that seems like such a bargain, I can say I didn't plan for this financially, but this my plan b. The mc doesn't  require me to take the first available if it's not time. I really like that option. Another plus is my dw has a church friend in the AL, she is 101 and still pretty sharp. 

This all seems so minor to me when I see what some of you all are going thru.  Ed I hope your peonies are still making momma smile!  

M1

Good luck TBE, will be thinking about you.  let us know how it goes.  At least maybe you can get some fundamentals done like lab work etc.

toolbeltexpert

M1 thanks and absolutely lab's I want all of  possible, thyroid,b vit, out of the way. I did make mention to the nurse that I wasn't  looking for the routine mammogram ect. She was very understanding, I probably didn't  need to tell her.. I just wanted to be clear.

M1 I can't believe how quickly time goes by, It just seemed like yesterday that your dw was placed. Has it flown by for you or is it just me.

Ed1937

Stewart, you got that prayer, and I'm sure there will be more. Keep us updated, please.

Yes, she still loves the peonies.

You're not the only one. Time seems to be flying by for me too. Whenever someone mentions how long something has been on the forum, I can't believe it. 

toolbeltexpert

Ed Those flowers are a win for us all.  I don't know why but they keep on giving to everybody, the cleaning lady , the cna, ect. I went to a mc and the mennonite church woman all grew sunflowers and took them to the mc, you wanta talk smiling faces everywhere.

May flowers

Prayers for you and your DW and her upcoming appointment and tests and your facility search.

ButterflyWings

Praying with you and hoping for the best outcome today!

mrl

TB,

Prayers coming your way,

Michele

Pam BH

TBE, you were in my prayers this morning and now. You've done a great job clearing the path to have a successful office visit.  Sounds like the biggest difficulty will be if she resists going, but then you have a plan for that too. Best of luck for both of you

Beachfan

TBE,

I will be thinking of you and praying for both you and your DW in the difficult days ahead.  And yes, time flies (even when it seems to stand still).  June 8th will be our 54th wedding anniversary and DH will be in placement 7 months on June 12.  Sometimes I wonder where the time goes and other times, I just wonder.  Stay strong.

Lynne D

TBE, holding good thoughts for you. You are a rockstar!

Last Dance

 Toolbeltexpert,                                                                                                                                      I will say an extra prayer for you. I pray for the people on this board and for all caregivers who are taking care of somebody with dementia or Alzheimer’s. It is my prayer that God would grant you all, the wisdom, the courage, and strength to take care of those that you love, and that you could find the right doctors, pharmacists, and neurologist to help you take care of your loved ones, and that he would give you patience, and strength to face the problems that come before us all each and every day. God's blessings to all of you as you face your day today troubles.

Faith,Hope,Love

TBE you are in  my prayers!  I pray it all goes well.

Jo C.

Dear TBE; prayer is being offered up on behalf of your beloved wife and yourself.  Will be looking to see how everything went,

J.

Scooterr

Yes Sir, I'll be praying for your DW and you. I hope today goes good for you guys. I know it's stressful and you get busy. Try to update us when you can. I've been off the forum for a couple of weeks now (it's been a rough couple of weeks around here) . I'm just now catching up on old post. Stay strong.

Marie58

May God be with you and DW for appt and MC decisions.

toolbeltexpert

Update on appointment 

Well we managed to get thru it. I played like I had forgotten the appointment and my phone gave me a reminder an hour before, I had wrote it on the calendar in light pencil just in case, she wasn't happy so I told her about the 300 cancelation fee. That settled that!  As we pulled into the parking lot, dw why are we here? We had to wait over an hour, all the time why are we here, my neck is better.

 Doc said that problem may be a plugged oil gland.

 Here is the panic moment when the doc asks, so I hear your having some memory problems, I wasn't expecting that. Dw said who told you that, him? so I had to fess up, she accounted her memory  problems to age. Now she's not happy, the doc had the nurse give the slums test. Scored an 18.  Which is indicative of some memory problems. Really?  I was surprised about the clock test, I thought she was gonna ace that, instead she looked around for a old style clock. Again she attributed that to no more regular clocks. She said after I feel stupid, how many of us have heard that? It is so sad that some of the testing has that effect no way around it. 

We now have a cat scan to check for possible stroke damage.

Lots of blood for all the problems that can cause dementia symptoms, b vit, thyroid ect.

All the way home. Dw do I have to go back, I didn't think we were gonna do this. Rinse and repeat.

I am gonna quit talking about all the other things cause I have learned she will just forget and circle right back if I don't stop talking about it.

Out to eat and distract from everything. I got me some gummies, for the  afternoon antics.

No meds prescribed except ointment for her neck. He did say that he would be going over the test results if everything was negative, he could prescribe something to help the memory. We also are going to have the Medicare wellness tests in 6 weeks. Not to keen on pursuing the other stuff.

Thank you for all your prayers, they were more for me, she had no appt anxiety, I did. I didn't hardly sleep and this morning I was just about to hyperventilate.  The morning wasn't going good for dw from the git go, I just did my best happy smiling face. Along with Alexia play my favorites. I am greatful all the things I learned here. And I thank God for His help every day. Home now watching let's make a deal, and everything is OK for a little while.

Scooterr so glad to hear from you I was wondering about you.  So much going on with everyone. 

ButterflyWings

Big Win! Congratulations to you on making this happen. Yes, need a lifetime supply of brown paper bags for all the times I almost hyperventilated on this dementia rollercoaster. 

I don't know why a Dr couldn't just say "so...how's your memory these days?" and go from there. As opposed to, your LO said, lol. Makes me wonder if sometimes they just don't get a chance to really think through how their approach can make or break the behavioral outcome (and caregiving relationship) post-appointment. Like, maybe they all need some Teepa Snow training before being able to meet with patients +families to potentially diagnose and treat PWDs!

Anyway, you both got through it. And it sure seems like there was enough from the testing to provide a diagnosis. That is huge, and its the key to getting her (and you) some relief for symptoms and progression. Well done. 

Beachfan

TBE,

Aside from all the craziness that you’ve gone through planning and caring for your DW, your $300.00 cancellation fee fiblet was brilliant!  You’ve apparently got a lot of clever tools in that tool belt of yours.  A real gem; it made my day.  

JoseyWales

I have to agree with Beachfan - that $300 fee was a brilliant idea.

I'm so glad you got her there. 

I was lucky when it came to doctor's appointments for DH. He was the first one to notice a problem and a bit of a hypochondriac. He was always happy to go to any appointment we made. He loved the attention from the doctors.

Joydean

TBE, great job! I too loved the $300. Cancellation fee! So glad the doctor visit went ok, not good because of what the dr asked about her memory, but getting her there is a beginning.

ButterflyWings

Yes, great fiblet! 

I wasn't familiar with the "slums" tool - looks very interesting and straightforward.

1)Article - https://training.mmlearn.org/blog/dementia-assessment-tool-the-slums-test

2)The Slums Dementia tool pdf -

https://www.slu.edu/medicine/internal-medicine/geriatric-medicine/aging-successfully/pdfs/slums_form.pdf

Quilting brings calm

I’m glad you got her there.  Both my mom’s PCP and her neurologist routinely mention memory and dementia to her.  It tends to go over her head though.  She doesn’t seem to react then or later.  The same PCP did not mention  either to my step dad when he referred him to a neuropsychologist.   Instead  he mentioned his temper.  The neuropsychologist did not mention a diagnosis to my step-dad on his first visit and preliminary testing.  I think he saw enough if his temper towards me to keep it to himself. 

Be forewarned that you will have an even more difficult time getting her to go back  for follow-ups.  My step dad figured out what kind of a doctor was was and is refusing to go back.  I may try that $300 cancellation fee on him.  He is  paranoid about money these days.