DH is stage 7f

Marie58

DH has been eating less and sleeping more the past few weeks. He's lost more weight, is less responsive, and may be in pain. He's non-verbal so we have to go by body language. Hospice doctor put him at 7f on Tues and we're continuing to adjust meds to find the right amount of morphine, etc to keep him comfortable. He was diagnosed 6 years ago this month. I was out of town this weekend and I even noticed a decline when I saw him after just a few days of being absent. The hospice doctor isn't putting a time line out there, but she is gently preparing me for the end. I hate seeing DH like this and I hate this disease. I always hoped something else would take him before he got to this stage...it's awful.

June45

Marie,

I have been thinking about you and your husband lately, wondering how you both have been. I understand the pull of his staying here or leaving this earthly life. Praying for peace for you both.

Lynne D

Marie, I am so sorry for the suffering this has brought you both. My thoughts are with you. Thank you for caring enough to share your experience to help others who are behind you.

Dio

Hi Marie, my thoughts are with you. My prayers haven't been answered so I'm not going there. I'm viewing death with a very different perspective these days. When my mom passed away 3 years ago, I cried my heart out. Looking back, she was the blessed one, with a pain-free death under palliative care, and this was right before the pandemic hit. I couldn't imagine her having to go through the lock-down. Upon death, she was freed from further suffering. I now see it as her salvation.

I don't know what the grand design plan is, but why are we the "chosen ones" to go through this ordeal with our LO? This disease is worse than anything imaginable. I've cursed at the universe, and all the gods and goddesses, without getting a hint as to why this is happening. So here I am, trying to find answers and solace in this madness. I was once told by a sage that when a person's life journey ends, it's best that we let them go and not hold them back with emotional entanglement so that they may leave peacefully. As I'm such a newbie to being a caregiver, I also know I must prepare myself for the inevitable rough journey and seeing it to the end.

Please take care of yourself and may you find solace through this next phase. Hugs...

ButterflyWings

(((Marie))) - No words of comfort from me will be enough, but know that you and your DH are in our thoughts and also our prayers.

JoseyWales

(((Marie)))  This must be so difficult to watch. My thoughts are with you.

Beachfan

Marie,

I am so sorry.  As I recall, our DH’s were progressing at the same rate for awhile.  Sadly, it seems you have passed us on this journey, and although inevitable, it’s still heartbreaking.  I can see my DH failing as well and it tears me up.   I think of you and your DH often, and always, always pray for you.  Stay strong.  

Quilting brings calm

I’m so sorry.  Please try to rest when you can.

jmlarue

This is so hard. We pull out all the stops to be sure our LO lives out their days in relative comfort but, so far, no one has come up with a good way to comfort those of us who wait and watch. I'm so sorry. Sending up prayers for your continued strength as you face the last leg of this journey. Your DH has been blessed to have you by his side.

toolbeltexpert

Marie I am praying for you.

Joydean

Marie I don’t think there are words that truly express our thoughts or feelings at this point in time. Please know that so many of us are thinking of you and your dear husband. Prayers for strength and peace for you both and your family. 

Buggsroo

Marie,

I am sorry you are seeing your husband going through this. It is very hard and sad as well. Nothing about this disease is easy. 

Marie58

Thanks everyone for the prayers and good thoughts. Yesterday when I visited he was so much calmer than the day before. He wasn't as fidgety and seemed more relaxed. 

Army, I don't know if he has the strength to curl up. One of his legs is always bent and he moves it around sometimes. We do believe there's some pain there. 

My faith has gotten me through all of this. Doesn't make it easy, but I get peace and hope knowing that God will take DH in His time. And then DH will be done suffering. Blessings everyone.

Joe C.

Marie, I’m sorry you are at this point in the journey. Like you I always feel that it would be better if some other ailment took DW before she reaches this stage. My thoughts & prayers are with you.

Battlebuddy

    Dear Marie, 

We are thinking and praying for you. I imagine you are just running on fumes. I’m so glad that he is comfortable , safe, and relatively calm. I’m glad too that you can step away and take care of yourself a little during this difficult final transition. 

  Sending hugs  

ImMaggieMae

Marie, I wish there was something I could do to help. Know that I am with you in spirit and pain for what you are having to endure. I hope the drugs do their part to keep him pain free and dull any awareness that could be left other than your love for him.