Update on Drs. Visit

Faith,Hope,Love

First I want to thank everyone for their comments and their advice.  I couldn't, and still can't do this without all of you.  I sat here this morning before my DH's doctor visit and new what I had to do.  I needed to take you all with me.  So, I printed out the two pages of posts.  I folded them up and you all went to the doctor visit with me and DH.  I kept my hand on my pocket most of the time and it gave me the strength to say what I had to say.

I decided not to give DH a sleeping pill this morning.  I was hoping it would give the doctor a chance to see him as he really is.  That worked very well.  I didn't give the doctor the letter, because I knew that anything I said DH wouldn't remember, and he doesn't even remember going to see the doctor.  I liked the doctor very much.  He did one of the most thorough interviews I've ever seen.  He sat typing notes the entire time we talked.  I told him about everything...and I mean everything.  You would have been proud.  The delusion, the repetitive behavior, the auditory hallucinations, the car keys, my fears....everything.  At first he said we could start him on an anti-depressent.  I told him I didn't think that was strong enough for where we are at this point.  I mentioned that my PCP suggest serequel.  So, he prescribed serequel.  He said even though there are some significant warnings with this med, he said DH is extremely healthy and would be able to handle it.  I asked about a POA as M1 suggested.  He said I would need to contact an attorney, but he would be willing to work with him and felt it was a good idea.  He said DH is probably mid to early late stage dementia and I should start planning for placement sometime in the future.  He was very considerate of my feelings and said that home care can only accomplish so much.  After a certain stage it takes teamwork to handle the patient properly.  He had DH take a memory test which he did so-so on.  DH thinks he aced it.  He called the prescription in while I was there so I could get it today.  After the appointment, we did some errands while waiting for the prescription to be filled.  We went to the attorney and have an appointment for next week for a POA.  We went to the bank to close an account DH has that's been idle for a long time and tied up a few other loose ends.  There's a lot more to do, but it's a start.  The good news is I have the prescription and he starts it tomorrow morning.

In the meantime, DH is in the garage looking for the car keys.  He has another huge stack of stuff to return to the store.  I slipped him a sleeping pill at lunch so hopefully he'll calm down in a little bit.

Thanks to everyone!  I feel like we did this together.  Hopefully we have this on the right track now.

ButterflyWings

FHL - look what you just accomplished with faith, hope, and love!!! Good for you. This is a huge win to have your neuro's support, a clear diagnosis, and all the other things your preparation and follow through have set in motion. It will still be a roller coaster but you have your seatbelt on now.

One thing you may encounter is refusal to take his meds and many of us learn to hide or crush the meds in a beverage or bite of something our LOs like. Seroquel for us made a huge difference though it took a bit of tweaking to increase to the right dosage for him. The 25mg first dose didn't even register. So, hopefully you can connect with the Dr before his vacation if need be, for any adjustments. Or, it may work just fine for you as is for a few months before an adjustment is needed. 

You have such great instincts and sounds like a real ally in the neuro doc too. Huge. Congratulations! 

Faith,Hope,Love

Thanks Butterflywings.  I feel like this is a huge step forward.  I really like this doc.  It was like talking to a real person who had feelings and understood mine.  What a relief!!

He prescribed 25mg in the morning for 1 week.  Then I'm to up it to 25 mg once in the morning and once a night after that.  He said he wanted to get him used to it for a week.

So far, DH hasn't had a problem taking pills.  I pray this continues.  The Dr. did say it may  make him sleepy.  I'm hoping it does.  It will be a relief from what's been going on.

You know, I read Lady Texans safety plan and the one thing she said that stuck in my mind is that you need to look at things logically and not emotionally.  I always said I would never place DH, but the way the doctor described it, that's not logical...that's emotional.  It makes sense that at some point I won't be able to give him quality care, nor afford it.  Having someone to actually talk me thru it was so supportive and incredible. 

I'm feeling pretty happy right now.  I think I'll go work on my latest quilt.

Joe C.

FHL, I’m glad the appointments went well. DW is on seroquil for delusions and it worked wonders. I just want to give you a head up that when your husband first starts the seroquil it may really knock him for a loop. When I gave DW the first does it really knocked her out to the point where it scared me. I had to cut the 25 mg pills in half for a while until she acclimated to the medication. It also takes about 4 to 6 weeks to see the full benefit of the medication, so be patient. Seroquil was a lifesaver for us but it took some tweaking to get the correct dosage regiment. Good luck.

Battlebuddy

Serequel was a game changer for us. 

  My husband takes 25 mg at about 9:30 and 25 around 2:00 pm.  I hope it is a big improvement for you too. It does make my husband sleepy. He gets two naps a day. I’m ok with that. It’s not a bad trade off.

Faith,Hope,Love

Thanks for the encouraging post Battlebuddy.  I'm really hoping this changes things for my hubby too!

Dio

FHL, great to hear of the positive outcome! I'm still new to all this as well and have learned some lessons the hard way. This forum has been a great help and support with boat loads of experience and advice. Hang in there.

Faith,Hope,Love

Thanks Joe C.  I appreciate you sharing your experiences with your wife on serequel.  I'll be watching DH.  I'm just so grateful to finally get something going.  I'll keep you and your wife in my prayers.  Everyone on this message board has been so helpful and so open in regards to what works and what doesn't.  It really helps a Newbie like me.  You guys are the best!!

Beachfan

F,H,L

Good on you for all you’ve accomplished.  Stay on this forum and you will get advice, empathy, suggestions, just about any information you may need.  Nothing is off limits or TMI (like showering and toileting, should those issues arise).  There are knowledgeable and helpful people here dealing with all stages of  this disease.  

I have but 2 thoughts: 1. get a Durable Power of Attorney (it carries more weight than a garden variety POA- - DPOA  remains in effect after a patient is deemed incapacitated, DPOA needs to be attained while the patient is still aware of what’s happening.) And consult with a CELA (certified elder law attorney) to button up other financial issues.  Other posters will chime in and present this information more clearly.

Second: Don’t obsess over placement immediately.  My DH was at home for over 11 years before I placed him last November.  But, when placement became a likely possibility on the horizon, I spent 2 years researching, visiting, and evaluating different facilities and when the time came, I was ready and have never regretted my decision.  

Best of luck to you, welcome aboard and I wish you didn’t have to be here!

toolbeltexpert

Fhl your a champion just getting it done. So glad you got a scrip. I am hoping maybe next week we will be getting one. My dw is gonna hurt herself if she doesn't. I have read a lot of posts where the first dose of Seroquel was a knockout. I'll be looking for you updates

Faith,Hope,Love

I'll let you know what happens TBE.  I'll be praying for you and your DW that she can get a scrip too.  I'm hoping that it'll make things a lot easier around here.

Beachfan, thanks for the info regarding POA's.  I'll definitely talk to our attorney about that.  What does a CELA do that's so special?  What kind of financial things do they deal with?

Jo C.

FHL; how very brave of you, and how wonderfully you handled things.  Really wonderful.  I understand what you are saying; logic and emotion live on different planes of existence; I had to keep reminding myself of that whenever I would start letting emotion drive the train.  We are all on a learning curve during the entire process of dementia.

As for the Seroquel; my step-dad did not have any untoward effects from it and it did not sedate him. Each person is different in how they react to the med, so it is good to hear from others how things proceeded when first starting the med.
 

I am also delighted for you in that the physician was such an excellent fit; isn't that just the best thing that could happen?  Must be quite a relief.  You are on your way!

 As for attorneys; it is really necessary to have an Elder Law Attorney to discuss the in's and out's of things.  Elder Law has many, many facets to it and one is best served by an attorney that specializes in that part of the law so you are well informed. As for getting a Certified ELA; they must go through a rigorous process to gain certification including testing and mandated continued education.  Not every town has them, but you can find them online. They usually are more expensive though. Especially if one has a complex situation, the Certification status can be helpful.

So . . . little by little you can begin to screen care facilities online; and when you see one or some that look positive, if you can get away for a few hours, it would be good to visit them to see how they feel for possible admission when that becomes a need. By doing this, you will know in advance what is acceptable and if something should happen abruptly you will be prepared and not have to run about under stress and time constraints. 

You are doing a wonderful job of it all; I am truly so happy for you.

J.  

Faith,Hope,Love

Thanks Jo. C.  Do you think I should use an elder care attorney for the durable power of attorney instead of our regular attorney?

M1

That is all great news, I am glad he was good and glad it went so well.  Seroquel is probalby a good choice.  It may make him sleepy--dont' be surprised if it does.  Just so you know, there's a very wide dose range--anywhere from 12.5 mg at the extremetly low end, up to 400-800 mg can be used in schizophrenia and florid psychoses, most folks with dementia get dosed at the low end.  It can be given once a day or mutliplce times a day, you'll just have to see how he responds.

You should be proud of yourself--you've gotten a lot done.  Kudos on taking the legal steps too, you'll need them for sure.  Keep us posted!!

Everyone in this forum helps each other, these burdens are easier to bear with group support, for sure.

Joydean

FHL, congratulations lady! So very proud of you and for you. Glad you liked the doctor, that’s a great relief for you too. You have a big win for all your hard work. Hope the meds work well for you and your dh. Now take a deep breath and relax because tomorrow is a whole new day. Enjoy your win because sadly they are far and few between.