Ed 1937

Jo C.

Reading this am. it seems today is the day your wife is transferred from the acute hospital to MC; I have been thinking of you and hoping for the best that the transition goes better than thought.  So hope you are doing alright; it can be an exhausting day when making such a transfer admission.  Of course we are all thinking of you and waiting to hear how you and she are doing.

J.

Ed1937

Thank you, Jo. Yes, today was the day. And I'm completely worn out. They transferred her from the hospital via ambulance around 11 AM. One of the EMTs came in to talk to her, and she just kept insisting on going home, even though we told her the doctors said she could not go home. We told her she was going to a nicer place. The EMT talked to her briefly, then left the room. He didn't act like he knew what was going on, so I followed him out of the room. I asked him if he understood what was happening. He assured me that he did. Then he told me his wife, at 56 years of age, had alz. He asked us (me and 3 of our kids) to leave the building, and they would handle it. So we left.

Around 3:30 I got a call from the MC. I was told she was doing well, but she spilled a glass of orange juice, that the aide noticed when she checked on her. The aide took her into another room while they cleaned it up. The aide told me they had music playing, and my wife said  "I really like this". And she had been asking when someone would come to see her. They thought there was a decent chance that a visit might go well. So our son and I went to see her. She was walking with the aide and another woman when we got there. When she saw me she wanted me to help her, so I did. We walked back to her room, and she told me how nice everyone was there. Then she was going home. I told her she couldn't, and she was not happy about that. So I told our son I thought we should leave. We walked to the elevator, with her following us, and when the elevator doors opened, she was going to get in. Of course we wouldn't let her, and she began yelling at us. The aide quickly came to our rescue, and in no time she had her walking away from the elevator toward her room. So far I am very impressed with this place, but I think I should probably give her more time to adjust before going back. Overall, I think the transfer went about as well as I could have asked for. Emotional? You bet! But we made it.

She is in a respite room until they have a room ready for her. That will likely be within a day or two. Then we have to furnish it. I will take our full size bed for her because I think if she has things she recognizes, it might make a difference. I finally got around to fixing the drawer in the chest of drawers that she sat in and broke. That will also go to her. I am very tired, but relieved.

Joydean

Thank you Ed for sharing with us. Please get some rest! Take care and so glad your family was there with you.

Quilting brings calm

Ed, thanks for updating us.  It sounds like it went as well as it could. It was probably a good thing that you didn’t have to watch her be transported into  the MC.  

 I agree a few days to let her settle in will help.  

You’ve had a rough couple  of weeks after a rough number of years. You and your offspring need time to process  just as M1, Josey and others here have needed  time.  Now that you are through this first day, just rest.  Watch mindless tv, read a book, go to bed early.

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toolbeltexpert

Ed thanks for the update,I am so glad. I agree the staff sounds well trained. But I know how hard this is, hope you get a good nites sleep.

Joe C.

Ed, I know how difficult this is for you, not only placing your wife but return to your home without her. It’s taking me a lot of time to adjust to living alone and I’m sure you same adjustment period. You have done the best to care for you wife and this move is the best care she can receive at this time. Be easy on yourself my friend and remember, “one day at a time”.

M1

Sounds like it went pretty well Ed.  Will be anxious to hear more.

Pam BH

Ed, what a day you had. I'm relieved to hear the positive things at the MC and with the staff. I'm so glad you had your family with you. Your DW is very loved. Now is the time for you to recuperate and refresh your mind as well as your body. She's being well cared for and that's a blessing. Many prayers for you all.

Jeff86

What a momentous day, Ed.   But you’re through it, and I hope both you and your DW make good adjustments.  We are all rooting for the both of you.

Beachfan

(((Mayor Ed,)))

I hope today is a good day!  Rest, relax, hug those great kids of yours, breathe deeply and take one day at a time.  Both you, DW, (and the kids) are mired in a huge period of adjustment.  I am thinking about all of you and praying for a peaceful and protected outcome.  Stay strong.

Marie58

Ed, I'm glad things went as well as they did. It sounds like a good place for her. I hope you can get some rest. I'm praying for you, DW and your family to adjust well to this new phase of this journey.

ButterflyWings

Dear Ed, 

Your diligence and preparation have brought about the best possible supports for your DW and you, just in time. It does sound like a good fit and that she is beginning to settle in already. Your courage, commitment and selflessness have inspired me since I first found these boards. How you have handled this placement decision which I know you did not initially want to make, inspires still.

As tough as it is to deal with the relentless progression and also the new norm of letting go of so much (exhausting) day-to-day physical care, you get to transition back to being her dear husband now - not the chief cook, cleanup guy, and enforcer that our PWD LOs too often see us as. That’s a big win.

Hugs and Blessings to you and your family.

jmlarue

Sending heartfelt best wishes for you, your DW, and family as you all adjust to this next step in the journey.

ladyzetta

Mayor Ed.

You and your DW are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care of yourself and get a lot of rest. You both are in a lot of prayers. Your DW was so blessed to have you there for her you gave her the best possible care for as long as you could. Now you will be there to watch over her care. Blessings to both of you. Hugs Zetta 

Jo C.

Ed; thank you for letting us know how things have been going.   Truely an exhausting day.  It can be not only physically exhausting, but also exhausting of spirit; the internal emotion of it can sometimes be more than expected with nothing left in the tank for awhile.  May the next days bring much needed rest to recoup.

You and the others who have accomplished this have all been valiant carers who have gone much farther than the "extra mile" in herculean efforts to do the best that could be done under the circumstances. Well done.

J.

David J

Ed, Others have said exactly what I would say. Placing my wife in MCF was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Not because I felt guilty, but because I miss her. I see her  several times per week, but my evenings are lonely. 

You have done what needed to be done for your wife, and indirectly, for you and your kids. Please don’t second guess yourself or feel regret for placing her. She is getting the care, both physical and emotional, that one person just can’t provide. You have been a fantastic caregiver, one that I have looked to as an example in my time on this forum. If I can presume to advise you, it’s to let the MCF staff do their job. They know what they are doing. 

Stay strong and know you are doing the best for your beautiful wife.