How does incontinence begin? Info needed

Vitruvius

How does incontinence begin?

DW is starting to experience bouts of both #1 and #2 incontinence for several months.  It can go on for several days and then she will return to being continent for a week or weeks. When incontinence happens she seems unaware of it and it's me seeing or smelling the result.

I have been very proactive in getting her to go regularly during the day. I have left her to decide on her own at night, but I do generally get up with her but sometimes I don't hear her. Actually most recent issues have been during the day, I think it comes on when she is unusually tired. Asking her about it is pointless as she now only responds to questions with nonsense non sequiturs.

Her PCP referred her to a urologist, she had seen one a year or so ago for general screening, nothing was noted a year ago.  This time the doctor ran a bunch of tests and no UTI. So just to be thorough she was given an ultrasound of her bladder and kidneys. Nothing much there either. The urologist agreed it was probably just the progression of her dementia but was very noncommittal, probably due to a lack of experience with dementia patients I'd guess. 

I expected incontinence to begin with #1 intermittently and then rather quickly become the norm. Then I supposed #2 incontinence would begin intermittently and also become permanent.

That's not what's happening. If any of you would be so kind as to let me know how it happened for your LO, no real detail necessary, I would appreciate it. 

Ed1937

My wife has been urinary incontinent for some time. About a year ago, she was in the front yard, looking at her flowers, and I saw her feel her backside. That was the first hint of fecal incontinence. After that, it was several days (weeks?) before she had another bout. Sometimes she didn't know she had an accident, and other times she did. It gradually became more often, and now she might use the toilet, or she might not. Probably 4 or 5 times a week she doesn't.

Buggsroo

My husband is somewhat incontinent and doesn’t seem to realize he is peeing his pants. Fecal incontinence is also a problem. I notice he grabs his penis like a small child does when he has to urinate. I tell him to go to the toilet. When he has to defecate, he grabs his backside, so I tell him to go to the toilet. The incontinence part when the horse has left the paddock to to speak. Then, he either scoops his feces into the sink or hides his sodden underwear somewhere. My nose usually leads me to the soiled underwear or the poo in the sink. 

I will say I know what you are going through, it is difficult. Good luck, may I suggest Clorox.

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jmlarue

My DH is still intermmitently incontinent - #2 more often than #1. It's generally the result of a sudden urgency that leaves him no time to make it to the toilet, rather than a complete lack of cognizance that he needs to go. He had an unusual BM the other day, however, where he actually made it into the bathroom, but I'm guessing he forgot to pull down his pants. When he finally emerged from the bathroom, he had both his shorts and his undershirt in hand, both thoroughly covered in feces, like they'd been used to clean himself up. He claimed he found these in the back of our clothes closet (no where near the bathroom). He kept saying he didn't know who would do such a thing. 

Anymore, I chalk everything up to progression and try to find ways to prepare for the worst. Bed is now protected with waterproof cover and incontinence pads to protect that. No top sheet. His blankets are not tucked in and are separate from mine. Incontinence pad on his favorite chair. A "Go Bag" kept in the car packed with wipes, plastic bags for soiled clothing, and a fresh change of clothes. I try to limit water intake about 2 hours before bedtime and remind him to toilet before bed. I no longer let him sleep beyond 10 hours. I'll wake him to go to the toilet and then let him return to bed if he wants to. In a throwback to my childrearing days, he is expected to use the toilet before we leave the house. If he can't go, neither do we.

Double incontinence all day, every day is the line in the sand for placement in a care facility. I'm not physically capable of fighting and wrestling with a full-grown man multiple times a day.

ImMaggieMae

My DH started in mid Nov of this year with him standing in the bathroom with wet pants next to him. We found dry ones and the next morning I started buying Depends and other incontinence underwear. At first it was maybe a few times per week. I always ask him every hour or so if he needs to use the bathroom and back then he usually did and would use the toilet. I don’t remember how long it was until the first bowel accident, but they are still few and far between. He generally has a bowel movement in the morning and I have him in the bathroom often until he does. 

As time went on, the incontinence became more frequent. He has been in a repetitive behavior lately, where he is in the bathroom every 5 minutes, usually unproductive. But then he will go afterwards. Or if I don’t go in the bathroom with him he will forget to pull down this underwear but not his pants. I would say he goes in the toilet 1 time out of 5 these days. We’ve had a few bowel accidents that were doozies, but most were contained and easy to clean up and change. I usually add a heavy duty womens pad to his Depends at night and he generally wakes up around 4 or 5 and I change his pants and sometimes the protective pad on the bed. I use a large doggie pee pad on top of the pad which sometimes has to be replaced. Luckily he has always slept on his back and doesn’t move around much at night. ((Thanks to Risperidone he usually sleeps soundly these days.)

We go through a lot of Depends type underwear these days. But since he is cooperative about being changed and cleaned up most of the time it is something I can deal with at home. I’ll post some links for products we’ve used in a little while.

Quilting brings calm

I am not the author of this thread, but I am thankful the question was asked. Mom has been saying for quite some time that she sometimes can’t make it to the bathroom when she first wakes up.  She uses a walker, so I can understand that she can’t get there soon enough.  She’s been wearing depends at night for 18 months or more. Tonight on the phone, she mentioned that she’s not waking up in the night to go and  her depends are wet in the morning.  She did not say it’s happening in the daytime.  As you know, PWD eventually do not know  time and days. She also doesn’t always tell me things in a timely manner.   So this could have  been going on for weeks now or it could have  started  a couple days ago.  It very well could be just the progression for her … or  Donepezil was started probably Wednesday and today is Sunday.  

  

Stuck in the middle

I think age has a lot to do with incontinence.  Those of us without mental illness learn coping strategies, like urinals next to our beds and Depends when leaving home.  Unfortunately, advanced PWDs with incontinence have difficulty learning coping strategies and tend to not clean up after themselves.

ImMaggieMae

The website won’t let me post the Amazon links for these items that we use, but you could do a search and find them. I’m sure lots of places carry them. They’re the products I couldn’t get along without.

This is the diaper pail that we use. It’s convenient and easy, and it contains odors very well, even for a couple days. Dekor  Classic hands-free diaper pail. We have one for the upstairs and the downstairs bathrooms. There are liner cartridges available that are easy to change. I’ve used both the Dekor brand and the generic.

These mattress pads are washable and can go in the dryer. Kane have bed pads 44x 52” waterproof pads. I have 4 or 5 of these so I always have a clean one ready to go. 

These chair pads work great for chairs, sofa and in the car. Sures chair incontinence pads

Stuck in the Middle, I agree. Age has a lot to do with incontinence. When I went to the pharmacy to purchase underwear for my DH I was surprised to see practically a whole aisle of incontinence products for man and women. Even the grocery store has a huge section. This is a big business. We ought to buy stock.