Today is our 55th Wedding Anniversary

White Crane

June 10th, 1967.  I was 21 years old and he was almost 27.  I had been married before and had two sons.  He raised them as his own.  Together we had two more children.  He was funny, loving, a good provider, artistic, athletic.  We enjoyed camping, hiking, fishing, traveling, bird watching, playing cards.  We loved each other.  We still love each other but it's not the same as in the beginning.  Now it's a deeper kind of love that speaks of commitment and caregiving along with comforting and reassuring.  At times I don't know if I can take another day of this life we have.  Then I look at him and know that my love for him is still strong even though I hate the disease that has changed him so much.  It's getting harder to remember that funloving 27 year old I married.  Our kids are grown now.  One of our grandchildren got married two weeks ago.  It gets lonely...I get lonely.  Thankfully, our daughter comes to visit several times a year.  When he wakes up this morning, I will remind him it is our 55th anniversary.  He will be sad that he didn't remember.  I will reassure him it is ok and that I love him.  We will hug.  To celebrate, I will fix us each a small steak and a baked potato.  Maybe the kids will call.  Friends have sent cards that we will open together.  He will keep forgetting it is our anniversary and I will keep reminding him.  Tonight, we will go to bed and say goodnight, I love you.  I guess for us it will be a pretty good day.  Sigh.  Below is a poem he wrote for our 30th anniversary.

Two in tandem fly, unharried by the foam and fury of the boisterous sea.  High seas and galeing winds at times beset us on our way.  But God uplifts and sets our courses new, and brings us safely to our haven sure.  If it be His plan, may we for thirty more, two in tandem fly.  The poem was accompanied by a sculpture of two gulls flying one just above the other.

I still love him.  Things are getting harder for him and for me but we are still together.  Happy Anniversary.

Brenda

Jo C.

Dearest Brenda; May you have a very good and pleasant annivesary day with your beloved husband.    Your love has lasted through the mighty storm of dementia.  He is still there inside himself and you honor that; he is blessed to have you by his side.

The sculpture and poem he gifted you is breathtakingly beautiful and a heartfelt "song" of the deep love and dedication he felt.

I send warmest of thoughts your way,

J.

M1

Happy Anniversary Brenda.....I like how you so accurately describe how the love grows and changes.  Aren't we lucky to have experienced that.  Not luck to have to live and die through Alzheimer's, but fortunate to have had that kind of partnership with someone.

toolbeltexpert

Brenda I hope you enjoy your day, your steak, your time together. I like the poem and especially the illustration. You both still fly, maybe not as high.

Ed1937

Brenda, happy anniversary to both of you. Even though times can get really hard, it's obvious the love you've both shared is still there. I hope you and he have a wonderful day. That poem is over the top. No wonder you've kept it so long.

Pam BH

Brenda, happy anniversary. What a lovely post and reflection on your love. I hope you have a wonderful day of new normal celebration and that you'll fly in tandem through the day

Sligo177

Brenda,

I hope you are having a good day, and your DH is so fortunate to have found you all those years ago.  Enjoy your special dinner, you certainly deserve a treat as well!  Yup, things are different and love changes, but I am reminded by your note that we still find happiness.  Bless you and your family!

Mint

Happy Anniversary Brenda and DH.

Beachfan

“Happy Anniversary” seems so shallow, give the circumstances of your lives.  Instead, I wish you happy memories and vivid recollections of the day you met, the day you married, and all the days thereafter.  Your DH’s poem is beautiful!  I hope it’s framed and displayed somewhere that you can see it each day.  Blessings!

Dio

Hi Brenda, Wow! Your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm constantly having to remind myself of the good times and remembering the wonderful man I married 27 years ago. We don't have children, so it's just the two of us plowing through the drudgeries of this awful disease. Congrats seems inappropriate, but kudos to you for your love and bravery, and inspiration to me! Thank you.

Crushed

I hope you life was a rich as ours.  She was 23 and a medical student I was 24.  We had 35 years before Alzheimer's hit 12 years ago.  We eked out 7 more pretty good years.

She has no idea who I am  but I remember `

happy anniversary  

Iris L.

Happy Anniversary.  What a lovely poem!

Iris

ButterflyWings

Happy Anniversary! It is an occasion to remember all the special things you are reflecting on. What a legacy of time and adventures together. Thank you for sharing such a lovely post and beautiful poem. You came close to having that 2nd thirty years he predicted, which is amazing. Your plans for today sound very special. Enjoy.

nancyj194

Happy Anniversary. It is bitter sweet, so try to remember the fun times you had. 

Going through this is such a difficult journey.  This site offers so much support, but we still walk alone.  

My husband and I will celebrate out 55th this November.  He will not know it is our

 anniversary and when I mention it, he will just say, "Oh."

Take care 

Joydean

Brenda thank you for sharing this special day with us. Your plans sound beautiful and your dh’s poem is so heart warming. Thank you and God bless you and your dh today and the days ahead.

Jeff86

Beautiful post, beautiful reflections of the love that endures even as it changes.   I wish this weren’t so hard, for all of us.  

I hope you found joy today in your anniversary celebration.

ImMaggieMae

A belated Happy Anniversary to you and your dear husband. You have many lovely memories of your years together. You will have to remember for both of you and tell him. Hugs to both of you.

Scooterr

Brenda Happy Anniversary to you and DH, the poem was wonderful. I can feel the love in your post and know your an amazing caregiver for him. I hope you two lovebirds have a great dinner together. Thank you for sharing.

White Crane

Thank you all so much for your anniversary wishes! It was a pleasant day. He didn’t remember it of course but I reminded him. We opened our cards together. He didn’t remember friends and family who sent them, but he seemed to enjoy reading them. We also played some rummy and he won, of course!  All in all a good day.

Ed1937

That's great, Brenda. We enjoy hearing about the wins, and that certainly qualifies as one.

Davegrant

Happy Anniversary, I was touched by your heartfelt story. It is our 55 Anniversary in August of this year so I felt your words deeper that I might have another thread. Thank You for sharing .